DEAR ABBY: My nephew is being married in a few months and has asked my 7-year-old daughter, "Shelley," to be the flower girl in his wedding. He is her godfather.

I also have a 5-year-old daughter, "Ruthie." My wife thinks it is unfair that Ruthie wasn't asked to be in the wedding because "it's every little girl's dream" to be a flower girl. The truth is, Ruthie did not feel slighted in the least when she heard Shelley was asked. However, my wife, her mother, two sisters and a couple of her friends think it is wrong and mean-spirited for Ruthie not to be included.

This argument has caused a great deal of strain between my wife and me. She has even stated that rather than attending the wedding, she may stay home with Ruthie. Abby, do you think I am being an insensitive father for not telling my nephew that he must ask BOTH girls to be flower girls? -- BEWILDERED IN TEXAS

DEAR BEWILDERED: Certainly not. Being a flower girl isn't "every little girl's dream" unless someone has planted the notion. Tell your wife and the meddling in-laws to stop interfering with your nephew's wedding plans. If your wife prefers to stay home with your 5-year-old, that's her choice.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my father's heart surgeon. He is extremely busy and calls less and less often as the weeks go by. He makes very little time to see me, although he claims he will make more time for me in the future. I know he has a lot of pressure, but I'm sure he doesn't do heart surgery 24 hours a day.

Every time I decide to give up on him, he calls, apologizes, and promises to see me "soon." He also pays me lavish compliments. I really like him a lot, but the relationship is going nowhere.

What must I do to resolve the situation? I don't have the strength to say no. -- HEARTBROKEN OKLAHOMAN

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Don't let this cardiologist break your heart, and don't burn your bridges. Accept his compliments, issue no ultimatums, and make it a priority to meet and date other eligible men. He may, indeed, have an extremely full schedule. However, until he's willing to place you higher on his list of priorities, make sure your social calendar is as full as you want it to be.

DEAR ABBY: I thought you and your readers might enjoy these announcements from actual church bulletins. Get ready to chuckle! -- LOIS IN HELLERTOWN, PA.

DEAR LOIS: Although these have appeared in my column before, I'm sure many people would welcome a chuckle. Read on:

ANNOUNCEMENTS

1. Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

2. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Jenny Palmer to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

3. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and may be seen in the fellowship hall all day Friday.

4. This afternoon, there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

5. Tonight's sermon will be "What is Hell?" Come early and hear our choir practice.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR READERS: Because today is Christmas and a celebration of faith for so many, I am devoting today's column to "Pennies From Heaven," a subject my readers have taken to heart.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

DEAR ABBY: I have twin sisters who are a few years younger than I. Our mom usually baked them a double-heart birthday cake, since they were born the day after Valentine's Day.

Mom passed away suddenly in 1993. There was no warning. Of course, the three of us were devastated. It took a long time to get over the shock and pain.

This year we got together on the twins' 55th birthday. After opening the gifts that I got them, my sister Marilyn tried on the black fleece jacket. She put her hands in the pockets to model it and felt something. Removing her hands from the pockets she asked, "Sue, did you put these in here?" In each hand she held a penny, dated 1993!

That's our "pennies from heaven" story -- strange, but true. We feel these pennies were from Mom, letting us know that she was with us on her twin daughters' birthday. -- SUE REICH, KANSAS CITY, KAN.

DEAR SUE: Perhaps your mother was putting in her 2 cents' worth on that happy occasion.

DEAR ABBY: Back in 1936 or 1937, I was living at home and driving a junky old car. One day I casually mentioned to my mother that I needed to give the steering wheel a good cleaning.

She went out and cleaned it, and as a joke I paid her a penny for it.

After she passed away and went to heaven, we discovered that she had wrapped the penny in a little piece of paper upon which she had scribbled, "The penny Carl gave me for washing the steering wheel of his car. Signed, Minnie Blaich." (I'm enclosing a photocopy.)

I had the nicest parents, and have a wife who is just as nice. We were married on my birthday, Oct. 8, 1939. We now we have been married for 62 years.

I hope you enjoyed my penny story. -- CARL BLAICH, ZEPHYRHILLS, FLA.

P.S. I'm still kickin' -- but I'm not making much dust.

DEAR CARL: Your penny story touched my heart. Obviously, your dear mother treasured the memory of that event, which is why the penny meant so much to her. I'll bet she wouldn't have parted with that penny for any amount of money.

DEAR ABBY: When my daughter was 10 years old (she's 14 now), we sent cupcakes to school on her birthday. Later that evening, I asked her how school went that day. "Oh, Mom," she said, "it was the best day I ever had at school." I smiled, and she continued: "Except for the shooting." Terror struck at my heart and my smile froze into fear.

Apparently, some idiot across the street from her school had shot his gun into the air while the kids were playing in the school yard. The playground supervisor immediately ordered the children to drop to the ground, and the police were called.

My little girl went on with her day: "But I got to pick out a prize from the 'good behavior box' -- and this is for you." She handed me a bookmark about guardian angels, attached to which was a penny with an angel cut into its center. It is priceless to me. To this day, I carry it on my key chain and say a little prayer for her safety when I'm reminded of its meaning. -- SHARON IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR SHARON: If anyone ever says, "A penny for your thoughts," share your story with him or her. It's an important reminder of how precious life is.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 29 years old and have been reading your column since I was 10. Becoming a high school teacher was always my dream. I graduated from college with a degree, but not in secondary education. I needed to begin working full time to support myself, so I never considered going back to school to certify.

Because I admire the field of education, I offer this tiny contribution for teachers everywhere:

TEACHER-PARENT AGREEMENT

I will teach your child to read -- if you teach your child to have an open mind.

I will show your child how to solve a math question -- if you show your child how to solve his/her problems.

I will tell your child about war and its aftermath -- if you tell your child to treat others with equality.

I will introduce your child to Shakespeare -- if you introduce your child to others he/she may not now understand, but will come to respect.

I will point out the many places on the globe -- if you point out that the world is open to him/her.

I will explain the stars and planets -- if you explain how your child can surpass them.

I am able to teach your child some things, but TOGETHER we can teach your child everything and help your child to grow. -- VERONICA M. DE CRESCIO, CROYDON, PA.

DEAR VERONICA: Something I've learned over the years is that when people feel they have a calling, they should follow it.

It's never too late to realize your dream. With your degree, perhaps you could begin working now as a substitute teacher. There is a great need. It could serve as a giant step toward getting you back on track. Please consider it.

DEAR ABBY: I am 100-plus pounds overweight. My husband has repeatedly asked me to lose weight but I have not. We no longer make love.

My husband is cordial and continues to provide beautifully for me and the kids -- he's a great dad. Do you think it's fair that he is withholding sex from me? I think he expects too much, as I love to eat. Now he has moved to another bedroom and claims he is turned off sexually. -- FRUSTRATED WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Although everyone has the "right" to weigh whatever he or she wishes, your weight gain has jeopardized your marriage.

By moving to another bedroom, your husband has given you an important message: Your marriage is in serious trouble. If you think it is worth saving, ask your doctor for a referral to a registered dietitian so you can begin to lose the extra pounds you have put on.

Next, consult a psychotherapist. The fact that you have chosen your love for food over your love for your husband needs to be addressed.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: Have a Merry Christmas, but please keep in mind: If you're drinking, don't drive; if you're driving, don't drink.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)