DEAR ABBY: As a treat to myself, every two weeks for the past several years I have gone to "Natasha," a professional massage therapist. Like my hairdresser, Natasha has become not so much a business acquaintance as a friend. That's why I need your advice.

Natasha constantly talks and tries to engage me in conversation during my massage. I don't want to be rude, but I would get more out of the massage if she talked less and allowed me to relax in peace and quiet. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings?

The massage costs me $90 a session. The way things are now, I don't feel I'm getting my money's worth. -- TIED IN KNOTS IN TEXAS

DEAR TIED IN KNOTS: Stiffen your spine and level with your masseuse. As a paying customer, you have a right to relax and not be distracted during the session. As a professional, she should understand.

However, since you and Natasha are friends, make it clear that you and she can enjoy a lunch or dinner together for social conversation between appointments.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from the very pregnant lady who couldn't get a seat on the subway brought back one of my fondest memories.

Back in the '50s when I was expecting my first child, I would wait each morning at a downtown Dallas street corner for a streetcar. It was a busy transfer point, and although my pregnancy was obvious, I could never manage to get a seat -- so I'd have to stand up most of the way.

One morning a man made a mad dash for the streetcar. When it stopped, he stood in the doorway and threw his arms across the entrance, announcing to everyone, "No one gets on until this lady gets a seat!" As you might guess, I didn't have any trouble getting one.

I had never noticed the man before, and I never saw him after that day, but that one encounter with this special person has kept me smiling for decades. I think of him as my guardian angel. -- VIRGINIA IN DALLAS

DEAR VIRGINIA: He was either your guardian angel or a blocker for a football team. Anyone who would refuse to yield a seat to a pregnant lady should be forced to walk a mile in her support hose.

DEAR ABBY: I read with interest the letter from the 90-year-old Missouri recycler about what she did with her old pantyhose.

A few years ago, while driving through a remote area of Arizona in an RV with my sister and her husband, one of the belts on their engine broke. We were stranded.

Fortunately for us, a truck stopped, and the driver offered to help. When we explained our dilemma, he asked, "Do either of you ladies have a pair of pantyhose?" My sister produced a pair. He promptly cut off the legs and twisted them into a rope-like band that he placed around the engine pulleys. We started the engine and drove 50 miles per hour behind our kind rescuer to the next town -- 16 miles away -- where we were able to purchase a real belt.

This goes to prove that old pantyhose have an afterlife. -- BOB STAUFFER, GIG HARBOR, WASH.

DEAR BOB: I have heard of using old pantyhose strips to tie vines to trellises, but yours is the most unusual and inventive use for pantyhose I have ever encountered. How ingenious!

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Twelve years ago, our 16-year-old daughter, "Heather," began dating "Johnny," a nice boy from a troubled home. During the three years they went together, Johnny became almost like a foster son to us. We provided emotional support he didn't get at home, and he even lived with us for a year before going to college.

Even though Heather's relationship with him ended nine years ago, we have stayed close to Johnny. He has spent every Christmas at our home.

Heather married last summer and wants to bring her new husband home for Christmas this year. (Since we live on opposite coasts, visits are infrequent.)

Our daughter has no objection to her former boyfriend's presence, but her husband refuses to come if Johnny is here -- which he has been every Christmas for the past 12 years. Heather defends her husband and has requested we disinvite Johnny.

I feel torn about what to do, Abby. On the one hand, I don't want to distance my daughter and her husband, whom we are still getting to know. On the other hand, I feel a responsibility for Johnny with whom we've grown so close. Over the years he has come to count on our love and support and considers us his "family." What in the world should I do? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT: It is regrettable that your daughter's husband feels threatened by this man who is such a large part of all your lives. Chalk it up to immaturity, insecurity and a controlling nature.

However, to keep peace in the family, invite Johnny to spend any holidays with you that your daughter and son-in-law cannot.

P.S. Heather should be the one to break the news to Johnny. After all, she's an adult now. It should be done soon, so he can make other plans.

DEAR ABBY: Our son came to us and said that his friend -- I'll call her Cheryl -- wanted to stay with us until she got on her feet. We agreed.

Cheryl had a job making $10 an hour, but she quit. She says she's looking for another job, but from what we see, all Cheryl does is party with her friends and go to church. Then she sleeps all day.

Our son is sleeping on the couch. Cheryl is living in his bedroom. When she comes in late she disturbs his sleep, and he has to be at work at 3:30 a.m.

Cheryl refuses to follow our house rules. Once in a while, she will sweep or do the dishes, but that's all she contributes. Her mother lives in town, but Cheryl says she can't stay with her parents. She gave our son one reason, and me a different one.

It has been two months, Abby. We would like her to move out, but she has no job. What should we do? -- HAD IT IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR HAD IT: Cheryl is not your responsibility. Give her a deadline to make other living arrangements and be out of your home -- and insist upon it! You'll be doing her -- and yourselves -- a favor. As long as you tolerate her freeloading, it will continue.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl, and I'd like to offer my fellow teen-agers some advice: DO NOT RIDE WITH DRUNK DRIVERS! Getting into a car with a drunk driver and driving drunk are two of the stupidest mistakes anyone can make.

I know a lot of teen-agers will read this and blow off what I'm saying. I had that same attitude last week -- but I learned the hard way.

Two nights ago, I was out with my boyfriend, who had been drinking. We were speeding along a country road and came to a sharp turn with a 10-foot drop. We weren't able to slow down fast enough. The car went airborne.

I closed my eyes. When I opened them, the hood was crushed and the windshield was smashed -- but we walked away without a scratch. It was a miracle. Most people are not so fortunate.

If we had been injured or killed, nobody would have found us for days at the bottom of the ditch. So, I urge all of you not to be stupid. Don't drink and drive -- or ride with a drunk driver. -- STILL SHAKING IN TUSCALOOSA, ALA.

DEAR STILL SHAKING: I hope other teens will take to heart the hard lesson you learned. Your guardian angels must have been sitting in the car with you.

Regrettably, Americans of every age make the deadly decision to consume alcohol and get behind the wheel of a car, and the effects can be tragic injuries and death.

According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, last year -- for the first time in five years -- the number of impaired-driving deaths rose. This information must not be ignored because impaired-driving crashes are not "accidents" -- they are predictable and preventable events.

This holiday season, I urge everyone to think carefully about the choices they make regarding alcohol consumption. Consider the lives and health of families and neighbors. If you plan to drink, don't drive. Agree in advance upon a designated driver, call a taxi or use mass transit. Make this a safe and happy holiday season by making wise choices. And remember, friends don't let friends drive drunk.

DEAR ABBY: I have been having problems with my second wife. My son recently moved here from the East Coast to start a new life. She refused to let him stay with us for even one night. I had to set him up in a room-and-board situation nearby and help him find a job.

Every time he wanted to visit and spend the night, my wife refused. My son may be a little immature for his 21 years, but he's a good kid.

Now my father wants to come for a visit. Again my wife refuses. It's because of a remark my stepmother made three years ago while they were here. My wife still holds a grudge after all this time. I wish she'd get over it.

My family is not perfect, Abby, but they are important to me. I wish I could get my wife to bend a little. Do you have any advice? -- SAD AND CONFUSED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR SAD AND CONFUSED: Successful marriages require compromise. As long as your wife rules the roost, nothing will change.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)