DEAR ABBY: I am writing about a close call with my daughter that could have been catastrophic. Feel free to share this with your readers.

I had several errands to run and took my 6-year-old daughter along for company. She was well-behaved, and I wanted to reward her. I don't like to buy toys and treats as rewards, so I decided to allow her to help me on my next errand to show my appreciation.

I stopped at the gas station and got out to fill my car with gas. My daughter asked if she could help. I hesitated for a moment, and then decided it would be all right because I would hold the handle and she could stand next to me with her hand also on the handle of the nozzle. When she asked me about the numbers on the pump, I pointed to them with my free hand to explain. As I did so, the nozzle slipped a little and the gasoline hit the inside of the tank opening. This created a back splash that splashed gasoline into my daughter's face and eyes.

I was horror stricken, overwhelmed with panic when she screamed. I didn't know what to do and tried to calm her and wipe her face.

Fortunately, a mechanic at a nearby pump came running to help. He grabbed my daughter and ran to a sink in the garage and began flooding her eyes with water. He kept it up for a good five minutes and then located a water bottle from an emergency kit to continue flushing out her eyes.

Luckily, my daughter's sight was not damaged and she suffered only a slight burn on her head and arm.

Abby, I am mortified to have allowed such a stupid, dangerous thing to happen to my daughter. This experience taught me to be extremely cautious and never to allow my children to help me when chemicals or potentially dangerous items are being used.

This incident happened several years ago, but I was too embarrassed by my ignorance to write to you. After discovering that some of my friends allow young children to help them pump gasoline, I summoned up the courage to write this as a warning to other parents. Sign me ... MUCH WISER MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Thank you for the warning. I hope that other parents will learn from your near disaster.

DEAR ABBY: I recently walked in on my father-in-law kissing his other daughter-in-law. It wasn't a fatherly kiss. It was after a family dinner, and I was on my way to the bathroom when I saw them in an adjacent bedroom. I'm almost certain they know I saw them, and now I feel very awkward in front of them.

My husband has noticed my strange behavior and nervousness and is wondering why. Should I tell him what I saw? Or should I confront my sister-in-law and father-in-law? I don't want this to have an effect on my relationship with my in-laws, but I don't feel I can keep this to myself. I also would not like anyone to find out that I knew what was going on and said nothing. -- GROSSED OUT AND CONFUSED, NEW GALILEE, PA.

DEAR CONFUSED: Tell your husband what you saw. It's a bombshell. The two of you can then decide together how you want to handle it. There's strength -– and safety –- in numbers.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, I was in a car accident and was prescribed the painkiller Vicodin. Because of some bad personal relationships and terrible choices, I became addicted.

During the years I was addicted, I became involved with a patient in the medical office where I was working as a secretary. He seemed sincere and caring. I thought he was "the one." My addiction grew to the point where, at times, I was afraid I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I felt guilty and ashamed. I wanted to tell "Mr. Perfect," but I was afraid I'd lose him.

To feed my addiction, I resorted to forging a prescription. I was caught and arrested. Mr. Perfect assured me he understood and would be supportive. That lasted two days. When he was teased by his co-workers, who read about my arrest in the newspaper, he broke up with me.

To my surprise, the doctor I worked for and his wife were compassionate and forgiving. They got me into treatment. It saved my life.

Abby, please assure your readers who may have drug problems that it may not be easy, but they can live drug-free. They shouldn't keep their drug addiction a secret for fear of embarrassment. Prescription drugs can be as dangerous as street drugs. People must educate themselves before taking anything. Those who have never experienced addiction shouldn't look down on people who have one. Addiction can happen to anyone. –- RECOVERING IN A SMALL TOWN, U.S.A.

DEAR RECOVERING: Pain is a huge public health problem. While the medical establishment is keenly aware of the need for pain management, there is also concern about media reports of misuse of pain medications such as OxyContin.

I learned from Tom Strouse, M.D., psychiatrist and director of pain management at Cedars-Sinai Comprehensive Cancer Center in Los Angeles:

"People at greatest risk for misusing prescription pain medications tend to have a prior history of substance abuse, but they, too, deserve -– and can receive -– pain relief without reactivation of their addiction. There is scientific evidence that patients with pain problems do better when the pain is recognized and treated effectively early on in an illness.

"Although opioid pain relievers (morphine, codeine, etc.) are considered the mainstay for serious pain problems, many nonhabit-forming medications can be as effective or more effective than opioids for particular kinds of pain, such as nerve, bone and soft tissue pains. There are also a host of proven nonmedication techniques, including physical therapies, chiropractic, massage and acupuncture, hypnosis, relaxation and other psychological treatments."

Finding pain management experts and communicating openly and honestly with them is the crucial strategy. For information on services available locally, consult the American Pain Society at www.ampainsoc.org or the American Alliance of Cancer Pain Initiatives at www.aacpi.org.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "THE MIDDLE-SCHOOL MISFIT": Don't lose hope. The great entertainer Bette Midler also felt she was a misfit when she was a child. Fortunately, she finally realized that being different wasn't the problem she thought it was. As she put it: "I didn't belong as a kid and that always bothered me. If only I'd known that one day my differences would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier."

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My 9-year-old grandson, "Grant," is in deep trouble. I must find a way to help him. Two years ago he had to take on a menopausal, reclusive stepmom. Of course, these poor children from broken homes don't get to vote their fate; they must accept whatever is thrust upon them.

Stepmom has turned Grant's downstairs playroom into a master bedroom and entertainment center. She watches TV down there with my former son-in-law (Grant's father).

Grant is not allowed to go down there unless he receives special permission. He spends most of his time alone in his upstairs bedroom playing his boom box or watching TV in the living room.

Recently, telephone privileges were cut off between Grant and me. Grant's father candidly told me that my not calling makes his home happier for his "recluse." I am sure he will cut off my visits if I try to help Grant.

Abby, I don't know what to do. Is there any way I can help him? -- HURTING INSIDE

DEAR HURTING: Don't do anything to threaten your visits with your grandson. He needs you. You must become his loving, safe harbor. See him as often as you can. Help him to express his feelings. Let him know he can tell you anything, and you will not be judgmental or get angry.

Do things a 9-year-old boy will enjoy so he can bond closely and experience some happiness with you. Let him know he can count on you when things seem the darkest.

If his father and stepmother do cut off your visits, then call ChildHelp USA (1-800-422-4453) for expert advice on this sad case of emotional child abuse.

DEAR ABBY: I hope you can stand one more letter about funerals. I read your "eulogy" articles on July 31. It was the day after my husband was buried.

My darling wore a red Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses. I included photographs, a back-scratcher, money clip, blue rose and a 1-inch-tall bear, a white rosary and a toy skunk that sang, "How Sweet It Is to Be Loved by You." I wrote the eulogy and took lots of pictures. I had an open casket at the graveside service. An American flag draped the silver metal casket.

His family was horrified that I buried their family member in this manner. I had only known him 8 1/2 years and they knew him a lifetime.

I kissed him "bye" and let the skunk do its thing while I left. I had the funeral director give the flag to my husband's sister instead of to me.

Everyone should do what they feel is right in their heart, not what people tell them is right.

I sleep peacefully every night because I buried my friend, my husband, my lover in a manner he would have been proud of. -- SAD IN LAKE CITY, FLA.

DEAR SAD: A-A-A-men! (I'll bet he's glad you packed only the essentials.)

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)