DEAR ABBY: More than a year ago, my daughter's boyfriend was thrown out of his parents' house. My husband and I opened our home to him because we felt sorry for him. The deal was, he could stay with us until he got on his own feet.
The problem is, he's still here, and we now have a grandchild from him. He barely supports the baby, let alone himself, and I have reason to believe he is cheating on my daughter. He has even put the moves on me. (They were halted promptly.) We have kicked him out several times, but he keeps returning.
How can I open my daughter's eyes to this person? No matter what I or her friends say, she still loves him and believes in him. –- UPSET MOM IN MINNESOTA
DEAR MOM: It's time for the gravy train to stop and your daughter's boyfriend to disembark until he can provide a home and support for your daughter and the baby. You are doing no one a favor by allowing him to continue to be a parasite.
Explain to your daughter that until this man gets settled, it would be better for the baby -– and her -– to remain with you. Common sense tells me that could be a long, long time. She should also prepare herself to support her child, because the father is showing all the signs of being a deadbeat dad. Then pray that while concentrating on the practicalities of life, she will grow up and realize that the responsibility for her and her child's future rests entirely on her shoulders.
As much as you love your daughter, you can protect her from reality no longer. I anticipate a bumpy ride ahead and wish you luck.