DEAR ABBY: I read your column daily and have found the questions concerning when to talk to children about sex very interesting.

I feel it's up to the children to bring up the subject first. If you have made them comfortable talking to you, they will expect their questions to be answered honestly.

I was working in the kitchen one day when my daughter, age 8, broadsided me with, "Mommy, how old do I have to be before I can have sex?"

I took a deep breath and told her not until she found a man she really loved and wanted to be her baby's daddy, because when you have sex you could get pregnant and have a baby.

She responded matter-of-factly, "You could always use the pill." I told her there were other ways, and she said, "You could just say no." I praised her and thought the exchange was over when she asked if, when her daddy and I were dating, did I ever tell him no? Here I copped out and told her that was something she needed to ask her daddy.

My husband was outside and unaware of what was taking place in the kitchen, so he was unprepared when his 8-year-old daughter approached him and pointedly asked if, when he was dating Mommy, did she ever say no to having sex? He and I are on the same page when it comes to parenting. Without hesitating he answered, "Yes, repeatedly." She said OK and walked away, discussion over.

My daughter did wait for the man she truly loved to come along. They now have two beautiful sons.

I'm relating this story so that young parents will know the importance of listening to their children and answering their questions honestly. This holds true throughout their lives. You may not always like what you hear, but if you have always been willing to listen, they will continue to talk to you. -- HAPPY GRANNY IN WALDO, FLA.

DEAR HAPPY GRANNY: Thanks for a letter that's sure to promote discussion among people of all ages. It addresses the importance of responding to children's questions in an age-appropriate way. It reminds me of a story I heard years ago: A young mother was asked by her 7-year-old son, "Mommy, where did I come from?"

The mother had prepared herself well in advance for that question and was ready with the answers, in all their anatomical detail. When she finished her lecture, her son replied, "Oh. My friend Jimmy said he came from St. Louis."

DEAR ABBY: I am a 79-year-old grandmother of 17 and great-grandmother of eight. I am writing about the grandma letters you printed in your column. I was shocked at how some of them talk about their "terrible" grandchildren. I love all my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

They come with their pink and blue suitcases that say "Going to Grandma's" and spend the weekend with us. I have had as many as seven stay overnight at one time. In the morning, I ask what they want for breakfast. They all want something different: waffles, pancakes, biscuits and gravy, eggs, bacon and toast. Guess what? I fix it all.

I live for the times when they visit. I always have five days to get my house back in order. I do laundry, clean and make beds until Friday -- when they come back again. I love it! -- GRANDMA SUSIE, SHAWNEE, OKLA.

DEAR GRANDMA SUSIE: Some people may say you are giving up your life for your grandchildren. The truth is, you are receiving love and making precious memories for the children with whom you are sharing your life.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just finished the letter from the emergency room nurse regarding the dangers of leaving children home alone. While she is justified in her reaction, she apparently has no children of her own, or she wouldn't have made the comment, "How difficult would it be to find a teen-ager who would be willing to earn a few dollars to be with Amber for a few hours after school?"

I'll tell you how difficult it is: Impossible! As a university instructor, I am in the fortunate position of having flexible part-time hours. Two years ago, I was offered a full-time position that I had to turn down. Why? Because I couldn't find anyone to care for my daughter two hours a day, three days a week.

I sent letters to every high-school counselor, community college and university child development department in my area. I offered $8 per hour, well above minimum wage. Guess how many replies I got? None! Guess where I live? Los Angeles. If I can't find one teen-ager for a few hours a week in this metropolis of more than 9 million, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for parents who live in smaller cities. Thankfully, I had a choice. -- FRUSTRATED IN L.A.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Sometimes child-care resources are right under our noses. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am proud to work at my local YMCA in Tucson, Ariz.

My advice to the mother who leaves her 10-year-old daughter home alone after school -- and to any other parent with a similar problem -- is to contact the local YMCA. The YMCA is the largest child-care provider in the United States. We have formed collaborations with schools and churches nationwide to provide child care for any parent who needs it. We offer financial assistance for those who can't afford it, and we are virtually everywhere in the world.

The YMCA provides proactive programs for kids at risk -- swimming lessons, sports programs, exercise classes, teen leadership, Youth and Government, Black Achievers, etc. While the YMCA began for Christian men (Young Men's Christian Association), we offer programs for men, women, and boys and girls of all ages. We are nondenominational and welcome everyone. Our programs are based on teaching honesty, caring, respect and responsibility. We build strong kids, strong families and strong communities.

Thank you, Abby, for letting me pass on the word. -- KAT HAFLER, TUCSON

DEAR KAT: Thank you for reminding me about the wonderful services the YMCA (and YWCA) provides. It is celebrating its 150th birthday this year. There are 2,372 YMCAs throughout the United States and facilities in 120 countries. Readers, to locate the nearest Y, call 1-888-333-9622, or visit the Web site at www.ymca.net.

Before this topic is put to rest, I must correct some misinformation contained in the letter from the emergency department nurse on Feb. 8. She stated that it is against the law in Pennsylvania for children under age 12 to be left alone. Several readers have written to inform me that there is no such law in the Pennsylvania criminal code. When complaints are received about children at home alone, they are evaluated on a case-by-case basis, depending on the maturity of the child and the preparation the parents have made for emergencies that might arise in their absence.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are both seniors, and he just recovered from a near tragedy. I am sure it could happen to anyone who takes more than one prescription medication.

My husband was slowly deteriorating to the point of being unable to take care of himself. He was less and less interested in anything; his hands trembled; he couldn't write his name or drive a car; he had difficulty putting two words together; he couldn't remember anything; and his legs were very weak. In short, he was ready for a nursing home.

He was taking 11 different medications several times a day. As his caregiver and the dispenser of his medication, it occurred to me that the drugs could be part of the problem.

I wrote his doctor describing his symptoms and listing all of his prescriptions. Without seeing him, the doctor immediately eliminated two of them and reduced the dosage of others. Within two weeks, my husband's symptoms began disappearing. All of them are gone now, except for the weakness in his legs. He's doing exercises to strengthen them.

Abby, what happens to people who have no reliable caregiver or mentor? Who reads the list of "possible side effects"? I am sure there are people in nursing homes being given the same medications that put them there. Please remind your older readers not to accept symptoms as "just being part of growing old." -- LEE IN WALNUT CREEK, CALIF.

DEAR LEE: People who have no reliable caregiver or mentor to intercede for them when they start slipping are at a dangerous disadvantage. Your letter is a powerful reminder that people who are having their annual physical examinations should bring with them a list of every medication, vitamin and over-the-counter drug and herb they are taking. The effects can be cumulative and debilitating, and they should be regularly reviewed by a physician.

DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, I think you dropped the ball when you commented on the black man who won a raffle and was first denied but then awarded the Cadillac he won fair and square.

You said something to the effect that because of the time and locale (North Carolina), it was revolutionary that justice prevailed.

I know racism exists everywhere, but I contend that because the man's injustice was a mistake both made AND rectified without government intervention or a media crusade, that speaks volumes about our great state. There have always been more good people than bad, regardless of the times. The proof is in that story.

Abby, I read you every day, and with very few exceptions, find you witty, wonderful and wise. -- CARL BROW, PROUD TO BE FROM NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR CARL: You are correct that the incident happened long ago, and it was remedied by people who believed in justice for all.

However, it wasn't until the civil rights movement of the '60s that equal rights were finally realized for every American. While many good people on both sides of the Mason-Dixon Line may have wanted to correct the injustices that prevailed before then, ending them took a tremendous struggle.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)