DEAR ABBY: After being apart for two years, I recently encountered this guy I used to go with. He was always a manipulative jerk. But once again, I let him kiss me and shivers went down my spine.
He gave me his phone number; however, I keep getting his answering machine. I'm dying to talk to him, even though he always treated me so badly. I can't stop thinking about him. It's driving me crazy.
I can't leave my number on his machine, because I live with my boyfriend. I realize it's not good for me to talk to him, but for some reason, I feel I need to. I can't make myself throw away his number either, because I've already got it memorized.
Why, oh why am I so desperate to contact him? Is it because he has this manipulative power over me? -- GOING CRAZY OVER A JERK
DEAR GOING CRAZY: Heck no! This isn't about anything your former boyfriend is "doing" to you -- you're doing this to yourself. On some level, you have a need to be punished, and he is providing it.
Unless you stop obsessing and let it go, your compulsion will cost you the boyfriend you already have.