DEAR ABBY: When I went to the movies with my mother as a young boy, she would sometimes cover my eyes with her hand and ask, "Can you tell me where the exits are?" She made it a game that was fun, but she was serious about teaching the lesson. I've always remembered it, because it's a very important one.

No matter where people are, everyone needs to know how to escape safely if fire should break out. That's why I've joined the non-profit National Fire Protection Association in its public safety efforts during Fire Prevention Week 2000. NFPA's campaign is called "Fire Drills: The Great Escape!" Its goal is to encourage people everywhere to plan and practice their own fire drills, especially in their homes, where eight out of 10 fire deaths occur.

When was the last time you had a fire drill? Please, take a few minutes to walk through your home with your family and identify at least two escape routes in case a fire blocks one of them. Then practice using them, and choose a specific place outside to assemble and make sure that everyone is safe and wait for the fire department. Also, if you haven't done it lately, test your smoke alarms to be sure they're working.

Abby, I hope your readers will take this message to heart. Fire is fast -- so fast, you may have only a few moments to get out. However, if you react quickly, you can survive a fire. Fire drills really are the "Great Escape." Planning ahead and practicing carefully are the keys to survival. -- SEN. EDWARD M. KENNEDY, NFPA HONORARY CHAIR, FIRE PREVENTION WEEK 2000

DEAR SENATOR KENNEDY: That you are lending your name to this lifesaving effort is terrific. Too often, lessons about fire safety are learned the hard way -- in the aftermath of a tragedy. Every year, more than 4,000 people die from fire-related injuries in the United States -- the great majority of them in homes. In an effort to combat that loss, the National Fire Prevention Association has spearheaded "Fire Drills: The Great Escape!" -- a multiyear public safety campaign to highlight the importance of planning and practicing fire drills.

National Fire Prevention Week runs from Oct. 8 to Oct. 14. Across North America, fire departments will be teaching these important lessons. Please, readers, plan and practice your fire drill today. It shouldn't have to take a tragedy to get people to pay attention.

DEAR ABBY: I recently became engaged and am looking for just the right dress. The issue I am having trouble with is that I have a rather large tattoo of an orchid on my chest. I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to expose the tattoo at the wedding. I also have other tattoos on my wrist and shoulders that may be exposed.

Our families are not formally religious and they have seen the tattoos before, but I'm afraid of looking cheap or tacky with a huge flower climbing out of the bust of my dress.

Any ideas? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN SAN CLEMENTE

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: Only this: When in doubt, cover up!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have carried a quote from Teddy Roosevelt in my wallet for a number of years. The words seem as appropriate today as they were when he spoke them. I have enclosed a copy for you. Please print it for the benefit of the younger generation who may not have read it. -- JACK TAYLOR, N. HIGHLANDS, CALIF.

DEAR JACK: That quotation, part of a speech delivered by President Roosevelt at the Sorbonne in Paris on April 23, 1910, has appeared in my column before, but I'm pleased to share it again. Although seniors may already be familiar with it, youthful readers may find it inspirational. Read on:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worse, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

DEAR ABBY: I am writing this letter to make the general public aware of a potential problem with their telephone service.

A great number of people put in all cordless phones when having phones installed. What they may not realize is that the "base" stations for those instruments are powered by electricity. If the power is interrupted, their phones will not work.

To avoid this problem, they need only install one phone that plugs directly into a jack and requires no electricity. Then if power is lost, that phone will still operate. I hope this helps people to avert a problem at a time when their phone may be needed the most. -- GEORGE F. ADAMS, BURLINGTON, N.J.

DEAR GEORGE: That's excellent advice. It's something I have done in my own home, and that precaution has paid for itself many times over. (Of course, cell phones can operate without electricity, at least for a while, but they eventually need to have their batteries recharged.)

DEAR ABBY: My Aunt Ida lived to be 108. She remained rational and alert to the end. One day she asked, "Why do I have to stay around so long? What good am I? Is there any reason to keep me all this time?"

My wife, Pat, who always seems to get it right, said: "Ida, you're here because of your smile. You have the brightest smile in the world, and when you smile you make everyone feel good. That's why you're here. You have a purpose."

Ida immediately brightened, said, "You think so?" and broke into a big grin. At the end of each visit, I'd turn up the corners of my mouth and say, "Keep smiling."

The nurses who took care of her often commented that Ida was always smiling, cheerful and upbeat. She was the oldest person in the rest home, but she lifted everyone's spirits like a ray of sunshine. -- A PROUD NEPHEW IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR NEPHEW: What a wonderful tribute to your Aunt Ida. Her smile must have been contagious, because I smiled when I read your letter.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I agree with your answer to "Happily Married Husband," who revealed that five husbands in his circle of friends have gotten divorces because their wives spent too much time with their children and they felt displaced.

Like many other couples, my husband and I were busy, and we didn't have enough extra money to go out. So once a month, we enjoyed a candlelight supper at home. I wore something sexy and used our best china. We ate at a small table after the children were finished eating, and we danced to romantic music on the record player.

Abby, you were right that couples must find time for each other. We did, and we've been happily married for 45 wonderful years. -- STILL ROMANTIC IN MANSFIELD, MASS.

P.S. We're the parents of 10 terrific children.

DEAR STILL ROMANTIC: I applaud your obviously successful (and fruitful!) union. Sometimes couples become so pressured they have trouble budgeting time to spend together. Being disciplined enough to do so can mean the difference between a marriage that succeeds and one that doesn't. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Many religions preach that man is head of the household and his wife and children must be obedient to him. This is one reason why abuse occurs. Unless spouses are equal and share responsibilities as mature adults, they will experience a serious imbalance in their relationship.

When children are the first concern of both parents, they will find joy in each other as well.

It's unfortunate when one of the parents dumps the total burden on the other. The immature spouse demands "Mommy's" (or "Daddy's") full attention and is the one who will most likely seek affection elsewhere. Irresponsible mates pursue self-pleasure. It's as simple as that. If families work together, they stay together. -- BETTY NELSON, MILACA, MINN.

DEAR BETTY: We're now living in a time when many parents teach their children that marriage is a full partnership. It touches me to see young fathers out with their infants carried in slings next to their hearts, or pushing toddlers in racing prams while exercising. When both spouses participate in child rearing, it makes for healthier, closer families. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Happily Married Husband" was on target! As a husband in a marriage of 53 years and the father of three, I would like to add that the children are the husband's children, too. He should be grateful his wife gives time and love to his children. Women carry the children in their bodies. Giving birth is an awesome event in their lives. Nursing, nurturing and attending to children is absorbing. Why wouldn't their relationship with their children be intense?

Today's women often work full time outside the home and do most of the household chores. How much time and energy does a wife have left for a husband?

I suggest that instead of pursuing another woman, a husband be understanding of his wife; that he spend more time and love on his children; and that he make time to occasionally get away for brief dates with his wife. Chances are his wife loves him, too. If he sticks with her, he'll have a loving companion for life. Memories of family fun and laughs, hardships overcome together, best efforts made with child rearing, and pride in the marriage all make a husband's life fulfilling. Try it! -- HAPPILY MARRIED FATHER IN KENOSHA, WIS.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)