DEAR ABBY: I am a 33-year-old "Southern boy," raised by strict parents. I have never married, mainly because I'm too picky.

I'm currently dating a single mother of two. She is 29 and has a 10-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. I have fallen madly in love with this woman in only a couple of months, and will most likely marry her within the year. We don't live together.

On several occasions, before or after showering or getting dressed, she has walked around her house with no clothes on. Of course, it doesn't bother me to see her naked. This is her home, and she has a right to do as she wishes. The problem I have is that she sees no problem in being naked in front of her son. She even showers with him. I realize this is her child, and she feels comfortable being naked around him. I was not raised this way. When I mentioned it, it caused a little tension. Am I being overly sensitive?

Her son, who will be 6 in December, makes comments and whistles when he sees his mother's naked body. At what age should a parent be covering up in front of the children? Please let me know what you think. -- NEEDS THE NAKED TRUTH IN ATLANTA

DEAR NEEDS: You are not being overly sensitive. The naked truth is that when a child is old enough and aware enough to whistle and make comments about the parent's body, the time has arrived to cover up. And you would be wise to be certain you agree with most of this woman's values before you jump into marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I wish you could find the space in your column to reprint a letter my husband wrote after Memorial Day. It was printed in our local paper. I'm sure our armed services veterans would appreciate it. -- HELEN MANIER, SEDRO WOOLLEY, WASH.

DEAR HELEN: I am pleased to print your husband's eloquent and timely letter. Its message isn't just for veterans -- it's for everyone.

THEY DIED SO YOU CAN VOTE

by David Manier

For many years my emotions have been moved by Memorial Day remembrances and ceremonies. This year was emotional as always, but I was struck by the thought that those who made the supreme sacrifice are being let down by many in this country.

There is a thin line between a government of the people, for the people and by the people, and a governing body that prohibits the governed any means to improve their quality of life. That thin line is the right by free and honest elections to select the persons who govern and represent the citizens. The right to enact or disallow many social or economic changes. That thin line is the right to vote.

The right to vote is extended to selecting the officers of your labor union, religious group, social or fraternal organization. Labor unions and religious freedom are not allowed in a police state or dictatorship.

Hundreds of thousands of armed forces members have died to preserve our government and our right to vote. The citizens of this country who are eligible to vote -- but do not -- commit a grave disservice to those who died in wars defending the United States.

Their deaths should not have been in vain.

DEAR READERS: If you haven't already registered to vote, now is the time to do it. Get moving. Forward -- march!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, I met a man through a mutual friend. We've been inseparable since our first lunch date. A month later he said he had a "confession." I thought, "Wow, so do I ...!"

He told me he was still married. I thought, "What a relief, so am I!"

I recently finalized my divorce, but to this day, he is still married. He says he is having all kinds of problems with his wife. It has reached the point where I can't take it any longer. I've gotten involved in his mess, and it's driving me away from the man I love with all my heart.

I know I should have waited until his divorce was final, but he assured me that it would be over "soon." Well, that was four months ago. What should I do? -- DISENCHANTED IN DALLAS

DEAR DISENCHANTED: It's time to disengage. Four months could easily turn into four years -- or even decades. This relationship was conceived in dishonesty. As much as you may think you love him, he is not a free (or honorable) man. Run as if your life depended on it.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter is being married soon. She and her fiance are vegetarians, and they are insisting on having a strictly vegetarian buffet at their reception.

Her father and I feel that it's improper to literally force their dietary beliefs down the throats of the wedding guests. Since we are splitting the cost of the wedding with them, we feel we should have a say in the selection of the food.

This situation has caused some bad feelings on both sides and has put a damper on an otherwise happy occasion.

What do you suggest we do? -- GOING MEATLESS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR GOING MEATLESS: I suggest you put aside your preconceptions and take your lead from your daughter and future son-in-law. A vegetarian buffet can be filled with rich and satisfying food. Your guests won't feel deprived.

P.S. My congratulations to you all.

DEAR ABBY: In "Doyleston, Pa.'s" letter about depression, she said, "I'm constantly alert so that I keep my depressive tendencies under control." This is so true! Those of us who have been there and were able to regain control of our lives know what this means.

The group that helped me to find the tools I needed to accomplish this goal is called Recovery Inc. It is one of the best-kept secrets for mental health insurance. We are always trying to get the word out to health-care professionals and to potential members who would benefit from attending our group meetings.

Please pass the word along and feel free to use my name. Recovery meetings are held throughout the United States and many other countries. -- GENEVA KOEBEL, WOODLAND, CALIF.

DEAR GENEVA: I have mentioned Recovery Inc. before, and I'm pleased to do it again. Recovery is not a substitute for professional care, but is an adjunct to it. This effective self-help group has been selected as the winner of the 2000 Arnold L. van Amerigen Award in Psychiatric Rehabilitation from the American Psychiatric Association in recognition of contributions to the field of psychiatric rehabilitation.

Those interested in learning more about this organization should write: Recovery Inc., 802 N. Dearborn St., Chicago, IL 60610 (be sure to include a self-addressed, stamped envelope), or call (312) 337-5661. No fee is required.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in a community outside New Orleans. It is a new residential area with homes that all have nicely fenced back yards. However, when we return from work in the evenings, we encounter toddlers on the streets with their tricycles and abandoned toys -- and the parents are not within three houses of their youngsters. It's an obstacle course.

Frankly, we are sick to death of taking responsibility for the safety of their children. As we pass, the parents give us dirty looks and yell things like, "Watch the kid, will ya!" as we swerve to avoid children who are not old enough to be playing in the street.

We make every effort to drive under the speed limit and are always very careful. However, at least once a week we find ourselves slamming on our brakes to avoid an unsupervised child. When tragedies happen, these parents are quick to place the blame elsewhere.

When I was a child, we were allowed to play only in a fenced yard with a padlock on the gate so we couldn't escape. Or we played in designated play areas with our parents keeping a close eye on us. We were not allowed to ride bicycles on the street until we had been taught road safety and demonstrated the skills and knowledge needed to cycle on public streets without harm.

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. It felt good to vent. I hope my letter will open the eyes of some parents to reality. -- PAMELA IN SLIDELL, LA.

DEAR PAMELA: So do I. Perhaps this is the time for a public service announcement. Supervision of small children -- who by definition are impulsive and quick -- is a full-time job. It requires one's full attention, particularly if the child is playing in a driveway or on a sidewalk near a street with traffic. Carrying on adult conversations, reading a magazine, running into the house "for just a moment" are distractions that can lead to tragedy in the blink of an eye. Hard work? You bet! But the joys are boundless.

DEAR ABBY: My sister has lived in Europe for most of my son's 9 years. She's 50 and going through a divorce. She is moving back to the United States and now wants to spend more time with my son. She also wants to start a savings account for him to pay part of his school tuition.

I am a single mother raising him alone, and the help would be appreciated. However, my sister does not give freely -- there is a price attached to everything she does. She is manipulative and controlling, and my son doesn't particularly enjoy spending time with her. When she's around, she rarely participates in our life, but expects to be fed and cleaned up after -- the classic "guest" mentality.

While the college fund is something I cannot provide at this time, I don't want to have it held over my head that I or my son "owe" her in some way. Should I take the money and keep quiet for his sake, or say "no thanks"? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: I'm reluctant to decide this question for you. Much depends upon your ability to tolerate her attitude of entitlement. However, feeling as you do, I would be inclined to graciously refuse her kind offer. There will be far fewer hard feelings if you do.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)