DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, your readers were reminded to never leave their dogs and other pets inside cars during the warm summer months. In that vein, I would like to bring to your attention a more common practice than some would think: children left in the car by well-meaning parents during a hectic day of running errands or driving the kids to various activities.

Since 1998, the New Jersey Department of Human Services has promoted the "Not Even for a Minute" campaign, which warns against the dangers of leaving children in a car alone. Window decals and posters distributed through day-care centers, schools, police stations, retailers, the AAA and new car dealers remind parents not to leave their children in cars, "Not Even for a Minute."

Children's health experts warn that on a breezy day with the outside temperature only in the low 70s, a closed automobile can heat up to 125 degrees within 15 minutes. Even with the windows cracked, a small child can dehydrate within minutes. The result can be deadly, as the family of a 13-month-old baby in New Jersey recently learned.

Whatever the season, leaving children alone in cars is risky. In less than a minute, a child can climb out of a car seat and shift the car into gear. And it takes only a minute for someone to break into a vehicle and abduct a child.

It's easy to underestimate the time a child will be left alone in an automobile. We've all had the experience of finding ourselves standing in the unexpected line or of running into someone we know, having a conversation and losing track of time.

Abby, please urge your readers to make themselves a promise: When you walk away from your car, take your child, too. It takes only a minute. -- MICHELE K. GUHL, COMMISSIONER, NEW JERSEY DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES

DEAR MICHELE: Thank you for an important letter. There is nothing more precious than a child's life. I hope all parents heed your warning -- and other states initiate similar campaigns.

DEAR ABBY: Last January, my boss promised to give me a raise for taking on a new responsibility at work. This responsibility involved taking a class away from home, which I completed.

Now that I've taken the class and am doing the work, he tells me there is no money in the budget for the promised raise (even though he just bought a new vehicle for the office) and says I'm doing the work anyway -- so why should I get the raise?

Should I refuse to do any more work associated with this added responsibility, or just keep doing it and hope for the best later on? -- TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF IN KANSAS

DEAR TAKEN: You'd be wise to look for another job. Your employer is ethically challenged, and it's unrealistic to hope he'll change "later on." If you opt to remain with this company and your boss makes any more promises, get them in writing.

DEAR ABBY: How do you know when a guy is thinking about marriage? What sign should I be looking for? -- WANNA-BE WIFE, NORTH PROVIDENCE, R.I.

DEAR WANNA-BE: An engagement ring.

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DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my girlfriend for six months. We have a close relationship and are deeply in love. She is going away to college this fall. The school is two hours from our hometown. We had a talk about what we are going to do when school begins. She wants to break up with me because we won't see each other as often. I personally believe we can work it out.

How can I convince her that we should remain a couple? In my heart, I feel we are meant for each other. --HEARTBROKEN IN HAWTHORNE, CALIF.

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: If you want to keep the lines of communication open with your girlfriend, do not pressure her into an exclusive relationship when she goes off to college. She wants the entire "college experience," to meet new people and not feel tied down. It is a healthy attitude -- for both of you.

Couples in love give each other the freedom to be themselves. To do otherwise is controlling, and people run away from those who make them feel smothered. If you are meant for each other, you can get together when she comes home on weekends and holidays. She will be far more interested in seeing you if you have not made her feel guilty about other men with whom she may have seen a movie or gone for coffee.

While she's gone, think of new ways to broaden YOUR life. This should be a period of exciting growth for both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I am an income tax accountant. During the past two years, I have encountered several widows and widowers who are unaware that they qualify for Social Security benefits at age 60. This is true even though they may have been divorced from their spouse at the time of his or her death.

Is there any way you can spread the message? -- CHUCK IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR CHUCK: Absolutely. This comes right out of the Social Security Handbook:

If you are divorced, you can receive benefits on your ex-husband's (or wife's) Social Security record if he (or she) is receiving Social Security benefits (or is deceased) and your marriage lasted 10 years or longer; you are presently unmarried; and you are age 62 or older. (If he or she is deceased, you can collect benefits at age 60; age 50 if you become disabled.)

Those who feel they may qualify for benefits or have other questions about Social Security should contact the nearest Social Security office, or call 1-800-772-1213. The deaf or hard-of-hearing may call a toll-free TTY number: 1-800-325-0778. The Web site is www.ssa.gov.

DEAR ABBY: In your reply to "Sneezing in New Jersey," who asked if it was OK to blow one's nose at the table, you replied, "... if the nose-blower sounds like the first blast of Gideon's trumpet ..."

Abby! The name of the archangel messenger of God who blew the trumpet is Gabriel, not Gideon. Gideon was a judge. Just thought you would want to know. -- SARA IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR SARA: Not to be tooting my own horn, but I wasn't wrong. Gideon was a liberator as well as a judge. In Chapter 7 in the Old Testament book of Judges, Gideon leads a force of 300 men against the Midianites. Gideon and his men blow trumpets as they attack, which makes it seem as though a huge army surrounds the Midianites -- who flee in terror.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my late 30s and have no one to confide in. I couldn't find any available men, so last year I ended up having an affair with an unhappily married man. A few weeks later, his ex-wife kicked him out. I gladly took him in. I deeply regret not getting to know him first. His kids refuse to speak to me, and he doesn't want any more children.

My family dislikes him and warned me about getting involved in the first place. His relationship with his own family is poor, and he has no close friends.

I'm beginning to understand why he was unhappy in his marriage, but it's too late to give him back to his ex. I feel stuck with him because he left his family to be with me. I can't even leave because we're in my house. -- TRAPPED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TRAPPED: There are no good excuses for becoming involved with a married man, and believe me, I've heard them all. You have learned the hard way and are paying the price.

As I see it, you're far from "trapped." You both made a choice that you now realize was a blunder, but he's not your responsibility -- so don't compound your mistake. Ask him to leave.

DEAR ABBY: I am going to an evening wedding in a few weeks, and I have a question about proper attire.

My mother always told me not to wear white or black to a wedding, but that was 45 years ago. I have seen both at many weddings in the past 20 years.

After a long search for a dress to wear, I found a stunning black dress with a large, bold, red flower painted across the front and back. It fit and I bought it. Friends have agreed that because of the print, it is OK for this evening wedding, but I keep hearing my mother's voice. What is your opinion? -- VOICE FROM THE PAST

DEAR VOICE: Your mother's fashion advice may have been appropriate 45 years ago, but in the ensuing decades, the rules have relaxed. While I would not advise anyone to wear white to a wedding -- unless specifically instructed to do so -- it is now acceptable to wear black. Enjoy the dress. It sounds lovely.

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married in a couple of months. Unfortunately, I am already having in-law problems. My future sister-in-law wants to invite 14 of her friends to our wedding. Our guest list is already too long for our budget. Even if we could afford it, I certainly don't want the church filled with people we don't know on our wedding day. (Nobody in my family wants to invite their friends.)

What should I do? My future sister-in-law is throwing a fit. -- READY TO ELOPE

DEAR READY: Your fiance must explain to his sister that if she wants to invite 14 people to a party, she should throw one at her place.

Let her have a fit, but draw a "line in the sand" and refuse to give in to her demands. Consider it an opportunity to establish that she will not be permitted to run your life or interfere with your marriage.

Best wishes for a long and happy marriage!

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)