DEAR ABBY: "Too Many Rings in Arizona" wrote you that her fiance had given her his grandmother's ring as an engagement ring, but that she preferred to wear her deceased mother's rings, which her father had been keeping for her marriage. She asked whether it would be wrong for her to ask her fiance to allow her to wear her mother's rings rather than his grandmother's.
You said to go ahead and ask him, and to offer to wear the grandmother's ring on her right hand -– or, if that bothered him, to have her mother's rings made smaller and wear them as a pinky ring on her left hand.
I disagree! When you marry, you promise to forsake all others, keeping thyself only unto him as long as you both shall live. With that in mind, which ring is more significant to the union, his choice or her father's?
If "Too Many Rings" values her father's pledge to her mother more than her fiance's commitment to her as his chosen member of his family, then she can wear her mother's rings rather than his heirloom. -- TWICE A WIFE, TWICE WIDOWED IN EDISON, GA.
DEAR TWICE: More than a few -– but not all -– of those who responded to that letter agreed with you. To me, the most important thing was that the young woman and her fiance be able to communicate frankly with each other -– and possibly reach a compromise –- about something that is obviously important to both of them. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Here's another idea for "Too Many Rings in Arizona." Before my wife and I became engaged last year, she expressed her desire for a ring with a three-diamond setting. She also inherited both of her grandmothers' engagement rings. My college roommate is a jeweler and was able to use the two diamonds and add a third in making my wife's dream ring. The ring has additional sentimental value because two of the diamonds had belonged to her grandmothers, and it was made by my college roommate. -- NEWLYWED IN LEXINGTON, S.C.