DEAR ABBY: My mother is married for the second time. They were married when I was 14. A year later, she discovered he'd had an incestuous relationship with both of his daughters from the age of 5 until the oldest went to college and the second girl was 14 or 15. The relationship with the second daughter ended six months before he married my mom. Mother forgave him, and we all went to counseling.
I'm 29 now, with a 7-year-old daughter. We see them only on holidays. My mother doesn't understand why my daughter can't go to their home without me or my husband. My daughter is asking why she doesn't get to see Grandma or spend the night when Grandma asks. Should I tell her why? Is she old enough to understand? My mother has threatened to take me to court for "grandparent rights." What do I do? -- SUSAN IN LUBBOCK, TEXAS
DEAR SUSAN: Your daughter is old enough to be told the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and she should report to you any behavior that makes her "uncomfortable."
Under no circumstances should your little girl spend time at your mother's house without supervision. If your mother threatens to take you to court for "grandparent rights" again, tell her that you will discuss her husband's history of incestuous behavior with the judge. That should be the end of it.