DEAR ABBY: My husband is a CEO of a large company. He does business with many other companies and travels all over the country. We are both 65 years old.

He has made it a practice to hug and kiss -- on the mouth -- all the female CEOs and associates he does business with. I'm not comfortable with this because I think it is unprofessional. (He's had several affairs in the past.)

He calls them "honey," "darling," etc. -- they are the age of our daughter (40).

I want him to stop this practice. Do you think I am being small and narrow-minded at this stage of the "game"? -- CONCERNED IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR CONCERNED: Considering his past infidelities, I don't think you are being small and narrow-minded.

Calling these women "honey" and "darling" may seem affectionate to him, but it indicates a lack of respect for them as adult women.

Tell him that as the CEO, he is in a position of power, and if he makes inappropriate remarks or advances to women, he could be slapped with a sexual harassment lawsuit -- or just slapped, period.

DEAR ABBY: I was shocked that you agreed with "Diane in Scappoose, Ore.," who wrote that children in shopping carts should be put into the automobile before the groceries.

With all the car-jackings going on, the last thing you should do is put your children in the car first. I attended a briefing given by the police department, and one of the things they say you should never do is put your children in the car before the groceries. It takes only a second for a car-jacker to demand your keys and jump in and drive off.

Groceries can be replaced -- children cannot. The best thing to do is keep the cart beside you while you load the groceries. -- LIZ IN DELAWARE

DEAR LIZ: You weren't the only reader who informed me that I goofed when I put "the 'grocery cart' before the horse."

Parents, please make sure that the grocery cart doesn't roll away with your child in it while you load the groceries into your car. And when you are finished, please remember to secure your children in a car seat or safety belt.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I had a very small church wedding. She refused to consummate our marriage for nearly two months and wouldn't tell me the reason why. It was not because she was afraid to have sex, because she was not a virgin when we married. When she finally gave in, I could hardly keep up with her.

Our wedding anniversary is coming up soon. On what date should we celebrate our anniversary? The date we were married in church, or the date our marriage was consummated? -- WANTS TO CELEBRATE

DEAR WANTS TO CELEBRATE: The date on the marriage certificate would be fine in most cases, but in your case, celebrate on the date that means the most to you.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Mother's Day always brings back memories of an incident that happened three years ago.

For the past several years, after attending church on Sunday, my wife and I have stopped for lunch at a Chinese restaurant. We have become acquainted with a young man who works there. He escaped from Vietnam with his family in a rickety old boat when he was very small.

Our daughter, who lives in Dallas, had sent my wife a beautiful Mother's Day corsage to wear to church as an expression of her love. The young waiter exclaimed how beautiful the flower was, and asked if it was for a special occasion.

We explained that in the United States, on this particular day children often send their mothers flowers as a token of appreciation, honoring their motherhood. The young man said they did not have this custom in Vietnam, but that he thought it was appropriate.

He left our table, then returned a few minutes later. He stood there looking embarrassed, then hesitantly said, "I think this tradition of honoring your mother on a special day is wonderful. Please allow me to pay for your meal today in honor of my mother, who suffered so many hardships in our small boat when we escaped from our homeland to the internment camp in Singapore."

My wife and I sat in silence for a few moments. Then, with tears in her eyes, my wife told him we would be honored to accept his gracious offer.

Now on the day set aside to honor mothers, we cherish not only the memory of our own mothers, but also the memory of this remarkable Vietnamese mother we have never met. -- JIM ISBELL, FORT WORTH, TEXAS

DEAR JIM: Your letter brought tears to my eyes, and I'm sure its inspirational message will move many other readers. Thank you for sharing this lovely memory.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to letters you have printed about handling obscene phone calls. I would like to share one of my experiences, as well.

Several years ago, I had a caller who was saying the most disgusting things over the phone. When I refused to answer, my machine picked up the call, and he continued the obscenities. Finally, I dialed star-69, and he answered. I asked him if he knew who I was. He replied, "No." I then informed him that I was the woman he had been calling all morning, that his phone number was on my bill, and if he called one more time, I would have him arrested. He never called back. -- FREE FROM HARASSMENT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FREE: Three cheers for star-69 -- which is a telephone company add-on feature that allows you to dial your last caller. You're a quick thinker.

DERA ABBY: What should we give my son's teachers at the end of the school year? They've been terrific, but I've run out of ideas.

What would you or your readers suggest? -- A PARENT IN OREGON

DEAR PARENT: Teachers may already have drawers full of scarves, ties and stationery from previous years, so when in doubt, ask them what they would like. If the classroom has been short on supplies, consider giving them much-needed items such as pencils, construction paper and art supplies.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was an only child. I am 53 years old and have been married 33 years. All my life, my mother told me never to tell my maternal grandmother when our family had plans, because she would always "get sick" and spoil everything. For several months, my husband and I have been looking forward to a vacation in a cabin in the mountains. We have not had one mainly because of the illness and death of our son.

My mother has scheduled back surgery three days before our vacation. She had three choices, but selected that day. She keeps telling me not to cancel my vacation, but I know I will pay dearly if I don't. I will never hear the end of it.

We really need this time away. My husband cares for his invalid mother on a daily basis, and I have a very stressful job. We could use this time to gather our wits about us.

Should I cancel our plans and accept what I know is my responsibility, or go ahead and take a vacation and "face the music"? -- TORN IN KENTUCKY

DEAR TORN: Take the vacation you and your husband so sorely need. If your mother tries to lay a guilt trip on you when you return, don't take the bait. Calmly point out that she chose the date for her operation knowing when you were leaving, and she had other options.

If this sounds harsh, forgive me, but you must take care of yourself first, and your reasons for going are compelling.

DEAR ABBY: I am furious at "Lesson Learned in Florida," who thought marrying a "relative stranger" for the sake of his child was a mistake! How about sleeping with a "relative stranger" for the sake of physical pleasure? I guess that part didn't bother him as much.

And the divorce was painful and traumatic for him? How about the quality of life for a little girl who must struggle with two selfish, irresponsible parents who have joint custody? How about the confusion and turmoil of straddling two homes? Now that WILL be traumatic for an innocent little victim of his bad behavior.

For those who haven't made these foolish and unfortunate mistakes yet, take this advice: Don't marry strangers, but don't sleep with strangers, either. Keep your pants zipped until you know and love your chosen mate. The result will be that a planned and wanted child will be raised in a home where married people love and care for each other. -- MELISSA ATTINOTO, ORION, MICH.

DEAR MELISSA: I agree that it's irresponsible to sleep with strangers. It is even more irresponsible to have sexual relations without protection. Both the man and the woman risked a possibly life-threatening, sexually transmitted disease, as well as an unplanned pregnancy.

However, not all children of divorce are traumatized by "straddling two homes," as long as each home is filled with unconditional love.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "LOST IN LOVE": Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. (Scottish proverb)

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)