DEAR ABBY: Will you please reprint this letter? My wife and I have saved it for many years. If it helps some young ladies, we will be happy. -- ROBERT KLIPPEL, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ROBERT: The letter you sent appeared in my column on Dec. 11, 1991, and I'm pleased to run it again.

DEAR ABBY: I wrote you in June about my 13-year-old daughter. (I told you she was getting dangerously close to the boyfriend she had been seeing morning, noon and night.)

I took your advice and spoke to her about sex. I purchased at the local drugstore several forms of birth control (condoms, contraceptive sponge and vaginal suppositories). I also bought something called a "teen pack." It contained several trial-size items introducing young females to such things as tampons, mini-pads, maxi-pads, shaving lotion and razors for shaving legs. When I got home I invited my daughter to join me at the kitchen table. My husband was working late that night, so it was a perfect opportunity for girl talk.

I lined up the contraceptive devices on the table. I gave her the teen pack, telling her that all the items in that package were things that we had previously discussed. Then I pointed to the other items that we needed to talk about.

I carefully explained to her that now she had become a young woman having a monthly period, she could become pregnant if she had sex. I then told her that I was in no way condoning sex in someone as young as she, but that I wanted her to be informed. I then took each product and explained how it was used, and showed her the directions and how to check the expiration date on the product. After that, I opened each package and let her touch the device, examine it and ask questions.

I made sure that she was aware that even if she was on the birth control pill, it would not prevent sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS. I told her that safe sex with condoms could not guarantee the prevention of pregnancy and disease, and the only way to ensure not getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease was not to have sex.

I then took the remaining products and placed them in a box in her bathroom closet. I told her I would not check the box, but if she ever felt a need to experiment, they would be there. I stressed that she could always come to me before making any decisions that would change her life forever.

I made some important points to her that truly hit home: I pointed out that she was too young to obtain a driver's license, too young to drink, too young to get a job, and too young to be responsible for the life of another human being. I reminded her that if she were to have a child, her education and social life would cease until such time that she could afford a baby sitter.

Abby, I realize this letter is long, but I wanted you to know how I dealt with this issue. After our talk, my daughter has been a different person!

I trust my daughter, and your advice was a big help in dealing with a very difficult situation. I realize that I have a long way to go in completing the journey through her teen years, but I believe that we, as a family, will survive. -- NORTH DAKOTA MOM

DEAR MOM: Thank you for writing. Every daughter should have a mother like you!

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My mother remarried two years ago. "Bart" is good to her; however, he drives me and my husband absolutely up the wall. He's a compulsive talker, and he belittles my brother whenever he can. He also makes inappropriate comments about sex. They are not directed at me, but he gives me information about my mother and him, which makes me very uncomfortable.

Now he is bad-mouthing my mother to my husband and telling my husband not to tell me, because he knows I will tell my mother.

They have started pressuring us to go on vacation with them for a solid week. I can't bear the thought of it. My husband doesn't want to go either, and he says I should not tell my mother how I feel -- just avoid her husband as much as possible.

Abby, I think I should level with her, but how do I go about it without breaking her heart? -- HURTING IN OTTUMWA, IOWA

DEAR HURTING: Dodging your stepfather is not a solution. You are overdue for a frank talk with your mother. Tell her everything you have told me. Her husband's comments are clearly inappropriate, and the situation won't change unless she's made fully aware of how and why he's driving people away.

DEAR ABBY: The letter in your column about complimenting employees when they do a good job brought back many memories for me. I am a senior citizen now, retired -- but it brought a smile to my face.

Twenty-six years ago, I went to work for an optometrist. I was working there for about a month, when I received a note from him telling me about the excellent job I was doing and thanking me. That note meant so much to me; it also motivated me to try to do even better.

People are always quick to criticize. How wonderful it would be if all people would give praise when it is due. -- LENORE SHANKMAN, STRATFORD, CONN.

P.S. Two years after I started the job, the optometrist and I were married!

DEAR LENORE: That's high praise, indeed, for a job well done. It's a smart employee who makes herself indispensable. I'm glad that your boss only had eyes for you!

DEAR ABBY: Your letters about husbands doing things for their wives sparked my interest. Not only does mine open doors, he does the laundry, goes shopping -- and does a very good job of it.

He takes me out to dinner each and every payday, sweeps, mops the floors and shampoos the carpets, and keeps the yard beautiful. He does NOT mess in my flowerbeds, however. That's my baby.

He can't cook, but that's OK because I love to cook.

We are in our 50s and we leave love notes all over the house. He always kisses me goodbye on his way out the door to work -- whether I'm asleep or awake.

I hear of so much family violence, I'm very happy and consider myself a lucky woman. In this imperfect world, I got the almost perfect man. -- A HAPPY COUPLE IN MISSOURI

DEAR HAPPY COUPLE: My congratulations to you both. My column is usually a trouble-dump. But with the exception of the series of letters I have printed about acts of kindness, I don't know when I've enjoyed printing letters more than those I've received from couples who take the time to express their love for each other. Perhaps they will provide inspiration to couples who need it.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of three elementary school-aged children. Every few years, my husband is awarded a trip by his company that he can take me on. The trip this year is one week during the school year.

I have decided I will not go, since the only way I would be able to go is to separate my children out to friends or neighbors. We have no grandparents or family members who are able to watch them for one week at our home. My friends and family can't believe this is the choice I made.

Abby, my children are my first priority. It is unfair in my mind to ask friends or family to shoulder the responsibility that I have chosen and am proud to do -- driving my children to school, homework, etc. -- just so I can have a week of "playtime."

I keep hearing "hire a sitter" -- even from my own mother-in-law! Why would I hire someone I do not know to come into my home for a week to watch my most treasured possessions? In this age of so many troubled children whose parents put themselves first, I feel as though I am the only mother left in this country who takes her responsibilities seriously. Your thoughts, please. -- STAY-AT-HOME MOM WHO MEANS IT, ROSWELL, GA.

DEAR MOM: While I admire your idealism, being a responsible mother isn't a case of black-and-white -- it's a matter of degree.

Your mother-in-law is trying to tell you something important. Don't lull yourself into thinking your entire responsibility is to your children; it's more far-reaching than that. Your husband should come first and your children a close second. In the next 20 years, if you, as parents, have done your job well, the children will "fly the nest" and you'll be left with each other. Therefore, it is vital that you invest in that relationship.

Perhaps a good friend would stay with your children in your absence, or take them all in for a week. You could repay her in kind at a later date. If not, perhaps your clergyperson could recommend a trustworthy and experienced sitter.

Your husband has been awarded a trip in recognition of his effort -- and you belong with him, helping him to enjoy every minute of it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old high school senior. I have always been the math and science type, taking every class possible.

I joined a chemistry class this year that meets outside the classroom. The teacher is a very friendly guy, a little obsessed with our work, but nothing serious.

The problem is, I have become attracted to his 15-year-old daughter, and I believe she feels the same about me. We have a lot in common. So far, we have spent little time together outside of school, but we talk on the phone for hours.

Her father, my teacher, is oblivious to all of this, and may be an obstacle, but I can deal with that.

Since I am a senior and she is a freshman, I am wondering whether I should pursue the relationship. I have spent countless hours debating the issue, but it seems trivial when I think of her. What do you think? -- CRAZY FOR A FRESHMAN

DEAR CRAZY: You may be a whiz in math and science, but you're obviously only a B-minus in biology and psychology. Make it a priority to ask your teacher's permission to see his daughter. If you are caught "sneaking around," it will look like you have something to hide, and he might not be so "friendly" when it comes to giving you a passing grade.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)