DEAR ABBY: I need some advice on how to handle a sticky situation with my in-laws. My husband's father carries a concealed handgun in his pocket, and in addition to this, his wife carries one in her purse. My father-in-law is in his early 70s, and it was not until recently that I learned they carried these loaded weapons everywhere they go. This includes our home.

We have a child under the age of 1, and I am so afraid that the gun may go off while my father-in-law is holding our child. The other possibility is that it may go off in a public place. My father-in-law does have a concealed gun permit, but the thought of his gun going off by accident and injuring our child or someone else has really upset me.

My husband says if it bothers me, I should say something to his father. How should I bring this up to the in-laws if my husband will not talk to his dad about this?

I really do want to have a good relationship with my in-laws, but guns in my home or around my child at any time will not be tolerated. Please help! -- DESPERATE IN DALLAS

DEAR DESPERATE: Tell your pistol-packing in-laws that the world may be a dangerous and scary place, but they are safe when they are in the confines of your home. Then do what any saloon keeper in the Old West would do to safeguard the customers: Insist that they check their weapons at the door and put them in a place the toddler cannot possibly reach or get into.

DEAR ABBY: This letter is in response to the one you printed from the woman who signed herself "Lost in a Dream," who dreamed repeatedly about a former boyfriend.

I can relate to her. When I was 13, I met my "first love." He was the same age. We lived 30 minutes from each other, but we corresponded through letters and saw each other at monthly youth functions. It lasted more than a year.

Because of circumstances beyond our control, we were forced to part. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. Neither one of us wanted to break it off, but it was something I just had to do. I saw him for the first time in about 10 years four years ago. It was very nice to see him again, but it brought back a lot of memories.

Now, 15 years from the time we broke up, I'm married and so is he. Like "Lost in a Dream," I have a wonderful marriage. But every so often I think of him and dream about him, and wonder "What if?" He was very special to me. Some people call it "puppy love," but it was real to me. And for a 14-year-old, that was all that mattered.

I want to tell "Lost in a Dream" that she is not alone. She is not a bad person for this. Anything can trigger dreams. I am just relieved to know that I am not the only person who experiences this. Thanks, Abby, for printing that letter. -- RELIEVED IN ORLANDO, FLA.

DEAR RELIEVED: You're welcome. I have a stack of letters from readers echoing your message to "Lost in a Dream." Dreams of a former romance are nothing to lose sleep over. However, if they are causing anxiety, it can't hurt to talk them over with a professional.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I disagree emphatically with your responses to Father Francesco of Newark and to "Worried About My Friend," who was concerned that her friend was entering into a bad marriage and did not want to be in the wedding.

Fifteen years ago last week, I was in that same predicament. Wedding invitations had been sent; the arrangements had been made. Two weeks before the wedding, a friend pulled me aside and told me to think hard about my decision and search my heart to be sure this was right for me. My friend reminded me that I had invited only people I cared about -- and who cared about me -- to the wedding, and should I realize the wedding would be a mistake, they would support me.

I canceled the wedding. Friends and family who had made nonrefundable reservations came anyway and were there to support me on what would have been my wedding day.

The experience made me realize that I lacked the tools to make a good choice for a lifelong mate. I got some help, and have been married 10 years to a wonderful man. If most brides won't listen -- so what? The friend just might save one life -- and you don't know unless you try. -- GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS

DEAR GRATEFUL: I've received quite a scolding from readers who agree with you and Father Francesco and say I've missed the boat. I'm inclined to agree. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I've been down this road, and "Worried About My Friend" should know it's never too late. Not all brides are so hypnotized by wedding bells they don't comprehend their own situation, even as they shove aside inner fears and don a happy face.

When confronted, I had already spent days smiling for the world and nights sobbing alone in a locked bathroom. Thankfully, my sister and father invited me to a pre-wedding lunch and showed me a clipping from your column. The article contained "15 Reasons to Leave Your Lover," signs of an abusive mate. My fiance exhibited 11 of those red flags. Two weeks before my wedding, and with the support of family, friends and your column, I called it off.

Please tell your readers not to underestimate the power of friendship and love. When we fail to speak out against something we know is wrong, we unwittingly condone it. -- HAWKEYE GAL IN S.F.

DEAR HAWKEYE GAL: I know you're right. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: A long time ago, one of my best friends was engaged. Her gown was hanging in the closet when I found out her fiance had been sleeping with someone else. I knew I could lose a very good friend by speaking up, but I also knew I couldn't live with myself if I said nothing. I told her. The wedding was canceled. Her wedding dress was sold and the invitations were thrown in the trash. However, all the bridesmaids were there to support her through her tears, and she later met a wonderful, faithful man to whom she's been married for more than 10 years. -- I'D DO IT AGAIN, CORVALLIS, ORE.

DEAR I'D DO IT AGAIN: You did the right thing. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I'm one of your male readers. A friend of mine once went through with the wedding because the hall had been paid for by his fiancee's father, and "if I called it off, he would kill me."

Today he is homeless and his wife is raising three children on her own. -- NEIL FROM NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR NEIL: The lesson may be, "When in doubt, say 'I don't think so' instead of 'I do.'"

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for a year. My ex and I are no longer speaking. I recently found our wedding album. What should I do with it?

I'm thinking of keeping it because it contains fun pictures from my past. Or perhaps I'll send it to her parents because the wedding was held in their home. Any ideas? -- MICHAEL IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR MICHAEL: Call and ask your former in-laws if they'd like to have the album. If they say yes, make a copy of the pictures you would like to keep and send the album to them. If the answer is no, keep the album for yourself. But don't be surprised if your next wife prefers that you keep it out of sight or in storage.

DEAR ABBY As the author of three wedding books, I was truly appalled at how "Happy to Lose the Lottery's" co-worker handled informing her that she was not to be invited to her wedding.

Brides often ask me how to handle letting people know that they won't be invited to the wedding. I always suggest that, whatever the reason, they tell people in person (or over the phone or in a written note) that although they would love to invite them, there are reasons why they can't. They can say, "We're going off to our cabin in Wisconsin for a private ceremony," or as was stated in the first half of the message that "Happy" received, "Due to the physical nature of the wedding space, there will not be enough space for all the friends and relatives we would dearly love to invite."

In fact, that bride was on the right track in the message she sent -- and if that had been ALL she'd said, I doubt "Happy to Lose" would have been so upset. But to create a "lottery" and then inform people that they were "losers" was really uncalled for. And then to tell someone to send a gift, for which he or she would be thanked "in absentia," was truly over the top. -- LEAH INGRAM, NEW HOPE, PA.

DEAR LEAH: You put it far more politely than most of the people who responded to that item. However, some readers not only were offended at the idea of the lottery, they also found the format of the announcement offensive. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: If I had received an e-mail from "Elmer" and "Gladys" announcing that I had lost their "lottery" and that I would be thanked for my anticipated gift "in absentia," I would have sent the following form letter in return:

DEAR FRIENDS: We were thrilled to learn of your significant life event through your announcement, invitation, letter, phone call or e-mail. We offer our heartfelt congratulations on your engagement, marriage, birth of your child, new home, anniversary, birthday, confirmation or graduation, or any of these accomplishments on the part of any of your children. How happy and proud you must be!

We must inform you that we have chosen to live an extravagant lifestyle even beyond our already affluent means. Unfortunately, this leaves us with no money to buy gifts for all the friends and relatives we would dearly love to honor on their special occasions. Therefore, you will not be receiving any gift from us, other than our good wishes. -- DORENE IN L.A.

P.S. Tasteless is as tasteless does!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)