DEAR ABBY: You recently printed a letter from a reader in Chula Vista, Calif., regarding the "Y2K Hype." While it is indisputable that many are profiting through the Y2K-related sales of merchandise, this is America and, like it or not, when people see a way to make a profit, they are free to take it. We are also free to choose what we purchase.

Thousands of people have gone to great lengths and expense to keep all services, many of which we take for granted, fully operational during the Year 2000 transition. They deserve a standing ovation for their backstage efforts. Hopefully, the sources of any Y2K-related problems will continue to be found quickly and repaired easily.

Both the Red Cross and FEMA have posted emergency preparedness articles on their Web sites with PRACTICAL as well as AFFORDABLE suggestions for all climates. While I agree with the author of the "Y2K Hype" piece (i.e., "stay calm, don't panic, use your head"), proper emergency preparedness can make a world of difference by relieving inconveniences and uncertainty until services are restored. It may even save a life.

No one ever pencils in "possible date with an emergency" on one's calendar, but it makes sense to do so. Jan. 2, 2000, is on the calendar. Why not consider making some preparations -- without the hype?

Since many of the people who need this information may not have access to it via the Internet, here are a few tips from the Red Cross disaster Y2K safety Web site. I hope you'll share it with your readers:

-- Stock supplies such as canned foods, bottled water, instant soups, etc., to last several days.

-- In the event of a power outage, plan to use alternative cooking devices in accordance with the manufacturer's instructions. NEVER use liquid-fueled heating and cooking devices without adequate ventilation.

-- Organize your first aid supplies. This includes prescription as well as nonprescription medications.

-- Have plenty of flashlights and batteries on hand. (If you have small children, keep flashlights available for their personal use and safety.) Do NOT use candles alone for emergency lighting.

-- Plan to use extra blankets, coats, hats and gloves to keep warm, NOT gas-fueled appliances such as an oven.

-- Listen to a battery-operated radio to keep yourself informed. Be prepared to relocate to a shelter for protection or warmth if necessary.

-- Check with the emergency service providers in your community BEFORE an emergency arises, particularly if you or a loved one has special needs. -- PAMELA RYAN, WILMETTE, ILL.

DEAR PAMELA: The essay I printed about Y2K has generated letters from readers who thanked me for it, and others who feel I treated the subject too lightly. For the latter, I will add:

My intuition tells me that for many people, Y2K may be the modern-day version of the backyard bomb shelters of the 1950s -- yet the prudent thing to do is to hedge your bets. Unused supplies can be donated later to charities and food banks that feed the needy. Many families are already "emergency prepared" because they live in areas geographically vulnerable to earthquakes, hurricanes and tornadoes. Those who have not already done so should follow the Boy Scout motto ("Be Prepared") and plan ahead for possible disruptions in the municipal services we take for granted.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I made a serious mistake. We told some friends that we were planning a vacation cruise and when we were going. We always travel alone because who can take another couple 24 hours a day for 12 days? We like to do our own thing our own way.

Well, one couple -- good friends of ours -- casually mentioned they might be joining us and we are horrified at the thought. Where do people get the idea that they can invite themselves on someone else's vacation? We don't want to insult them or cause hurt feelings. How do we tell them that we prefer to travel alone without hurting their feelings? -- HORRIFIED IN FLORIDA

DEAR HORRIFIED: Some people assume they are closer friends than they actually are, and others do not understand boundaries. Waste no time in telling these "good friends" that you use these vacations to PRIVATELY renew the romance in your marriage -- and that as much as you like them, having them along on your vacation would destroy the intimacy. Then cross your fingers.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago you printed a letter from a woman named Elizabeth, concerning your pecan (or walnut) pie recipe. You printed the recipe along with the letter.

I tried out both the pecan and walnut variations on my family. They liked both, but preferred the walnut.

In August, I entered a walnut pie (using your recipe) in the San Mateo County Fair. Abby, it not only took first place, but also won the Judge's Choice Award. (The Judge's Choice Award is first place among the first place winners!) Needless to say, I was thrilled.

Since you did say, "Please let me know how yours came out," I just thought you'd like to know. Thank you, Abby. -- CAROL TULLOH, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR CAROL: My congratulations! I'm delighted that the pecan/walnut pie recipe served you so well. Your letter made my day! The recipe was included in my booklet "Dear Abby's Favorite Recipes" (my first of two cookbooklets). But for those who may not have time to order it before the holidays, here's the recipe:

ABBY'S FAMOUS PECAN PIE

9-inch unbaked pie crust

1 cup light corn syrup

1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar

3 eggs, slightly beaten

1/3 cup butter, melted

1/3 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 heaping cup pecan (or walnut) halves

Heat oven to 350 degrees.

Prepare pie crust. In large bowl, combine corn syrup, sugar, eggs, butter, salt and vanilla; mix well. Pour filling into prepared pie crust; sprinkle with pecan (or walnut) halves.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes or until center is set. (Toothpick inserted will come out clean when pie is "done.") Cool. If crust or pie appears to be getting too brown, cover with foil for remaining baking time.

You can top it with a bit of whipped cream or ice cream, but even plain -- nothing tops this! (Serves 8 to 10.)

TIP: The original recipe stated that the pie should be baked 45 to 50 minutes in a preheated 350-degree GAS oven. If an electric oven is used, it may be necessary to add 15 to 20 minutes to the baking time. (Begin testing the pie with a toothpick after 45 minutes.)

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a big problem with my mother, who still feels she can control my life. She is mad at her siblings, and now only one remains because her brother just died.

If I choose to stay in contact with her last surviving sibling, Mother has told me she will feel betrayed and will no longer speak to me or her grandchild.

My husband and I are very family-oriented. We feel that our daughter should know all her relatives.

Mother never told her siblings why she is angry with them, but I know. I'm not sure her reason is valid -- especially since she told me that she found out while she was in a hypnotic trance.

I think that as a 40-year-old adult, I should be able to make my own decisions regarding who I see. I know I'll be getting a call from her soon whereupon she'll ask if I have been in contact with her family. I want to say "yes," as I am not comfortable with lying.

My mother has been under psychiatric care since 1993. I don't feel I am betraying her; I just want all my family in my circle. Abby, can you help? Please answer soon in the paper. -- BIG PROBLEM IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BIG PROBLEM: The next time your mother asks if you have talked to her sibling, tell her that if she chooses to isolate herself from the rest of the family, you think it is ill-advised, but you won't try to make her change her mind. However, that is not the way you wish to live your life, nor is it the way you want to raise your daughter. Then let the chips fall where they may.

Your mother is trying to manipulate you by using threats, and she should not be allowed to get away with it. The poor woman sounds emotionally disturbed, and I'm pleased that she's under the care of a psychiatrist.

DEAR ABBY: About five years ago you printed a letter from a woman whose husband had just died from melanoma. She urged everyone to have their moles examined by a doctor.

Although I was only 20 years old and did not fit the normal age range for people with skin cancer, I decided to go to the doctor. Well, Abby, I DID have melanoma -- usually the only form of skin cancer that can cause death. Luckily, I was able to have it removed surgically, and now I am fine.

Please continue to urge your readers to wear sunscreen and to have their moles examined. I would like to thank the wife who took the time to write to you about her tragedy, and to thank both of you for saving my life. -- THANKFUL IN LONG BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR THANKFUL: I'm pleased your story has a happy ending. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to remind my sun-worshipping readers to have this kind of checkup done annually.

Any suspicious lump, sore or ulcer on the skin should be reported to your physician if it persists for more than a week. It's also important to be examined by a physician if there is any change in the size, shape or texture of a mole, or if half of it appears "different" from the other half.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)