DEAR ABBY: I am 18 years old, married and seven months pregnant with our first child.

Recently, my husband and I got into a fight about my 3-year-old son. He was the result of a rape. I put him up for adoption, and I keep in contact with his parents through the agency.

The first Christmas after my son's birth, his parents sent me a locket and a picture to put in it. Since then, I have never taken this locket off, because it is the only thing I have with his picture that I can keep close to my heart.

My husband thinks I shouldn't wear the locket because he feels that when our daughter gets older, she may resent my wearing it. He also thinks I will be unable to love our child as much as I love my son. I fear that I may fail to be a good mother to our daughter because I couldn't be to my son.

I also worry about the future. How will my daughter react when she learns I gave her half-brother up for adoption three years before she was born?

Abby, how can I make my husband understand about the locket? Also, how can I overcome my fears? -- TOO YOUNG TO BE THIS OLD IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR TOO YOUNG: Your husband is being unreasonable. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say it's because the necklace is a constant reminder that he wasn't the first man in your life.

You are a sensitive and loving young woman, and I'm sure you will be a terrific mother. If your daughter questions you about why you had to give up her half-brother, tell her that when the child was born, you were too young to keep him and raise him properly -- so you saw to it that the baby would have two loving parents who could. No one can fault you for that. It was the courageous, selfless and right thing to do.

Rape crisis counseling may help you and your husband deal with this in a healthy way. I urge you both to make an appointment -- just pick up the phone and ask the operator for the rape hotline.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and have just ended a relationship that lasted seven months. I was a virgin until this relationship. When we began dating, I told "Todd" I wanted to wait for sex until I trusted him and felt I loved him.

The time did come when I trusted him and felt I loved him, so I decided to sleep with him. That's when things started going downhill. A month later, he told me he was sick of me.

Abby, I feel so hurt and used. Now I'm starting to view sex negatively. I know I'm young and have years of relationships ahead of me, but now I wonder if all men are only after sex. If so, it wouldn't be worth it. -- YOUNG, HURT AND CONFUSED

DEAR YOUNG: Many young men -- and some older men -- are more interested in the challenge than in a lasting relationship. However, not all males are alike.

Don't give up on men because of one bad experience. Give yourself and the young men you date time to mature before making a decision to have sex again. Love takes time to grow and it also takes time to discern whether the commitment is likely to be long-lasting. Once you are certain about that, you can begin giving careful consideration to whether a sexual relationship is what you want.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last October, a quarter of a million families took time out of their busy schedules to plan and practice how they would get out if their homes caught fire. They did this during The Great Escape, the unified North American fire drill held in communities large and small in conjunction with Fire Prevention Week.

Planning ahead can make the difference in surviving a fire. The National Fire Protection Association (NFPA) has been tracking the number of families participating in The Great Escape and the number of lives saved because of their participation. Today, 40 people are alive because they knew what to do when fire broke out. The few minutes these families spent on the Great Escape home fire drill saved their lives.

I wish every family who experienced a home fire was fortunate. Sadly, every year more than 4,000 people die in fires in the United States, and eight out of 10 die in the home -- the place most feel safest. Home fire deaths are overwhelmingly preventable. The keys to survival are early warning, and planning and practice for how to escape.

Abby, please remind your readers that a successful home fire escape plan must include working smoke detectors on every level of the home, knowing two ways out from each room, having a meeting place outside where the family will gather, and practicing the plan at least twice a year. Your readers can join in the fun on Wednesday, Oct. 6, when communities across the United States and Canada participate in The Great Escape unified fire drill. -- GEORGE D. MILLER, PRESIDENT, NATIONAL FIRE PROTECTION ASSOCIATION

DEAR MR. MILLER: This week is Fire Prevention Week, and I hope my readers will use this week as a reminder to plan and practice their home fire drills. It takes only a few minutes and it could save lives.

Readers, tomorrow is The Great Escape, a unified fire drill in which you should participate. Please make a commitment to find out about it today from notices in your newspaper or radio, or by calling your local fire department for information, and tomorrow take part in the drill. It may save your life or that of someone you love.

DEAR ABBY: Please help settle a family dispute. Recently my brother and his wife visited my family at our summer home in New York state. They presented us with a gift of wine upon their arrival. I selected a favorite bottle of wine from my own small collection and offered it to my guests.

The next afternoon my brother's family departed as scheduled. The following week, I was informed by another family member that my brother had been insulted by my "greed and inconsideration" for not opening his gift bottle and offering it around. Abby, what's the rule here? Was I a poor host? -- UNCORKED IN HUDSON, OHIO

DEAR UNCORKED: No, you were not a poor host. When a house gift is received, whether or not to open it and use it immediately is at the host's discretion. Your brother was ungracious to bad-mouth your hospitality.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I felt compelled to write and offer my advice to "Sweet 16 in Seattle," who is often mistaken to be her baby brother's teen-age mother.

When I was 16, my mother had my little brother and shortly after, was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. I happily carried my brother because my mother physically could not. I heard the "tut-tuts" from people in public, was stared at endlessly in restaurants and had people refuse to serve me in stores.

My advice to "Sweet 16" is to hold your head high. You have done nothing wrong -- you do not owe anyone an explanation.

Second, and more important, take a lesson from it: Do not judge people or situations from what they "seem" to be on the outside. There are always two sides to a story.

And last, don't let it bother you so much. Enjoy your brother as much as I did mine. Seven years later we still have a special bond that I would not trade for anything -- not even the approval of an often-too-quick-to-judge public. -- PROUD SISTER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR PROUD SISTER: That's sage advice. I hope "Sweet 16" reads and heeds it. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was about 13 during the mid-'50s in San Diego -- pushing my infant twin nieces around a department store while my 27-year-old sister was upstairs paying a bill. A woman stopped me and began asking me about the twins. How old? Boys or girls? About the time she got around to "Are they yours?" my sister emerged from the elevator behind me and said, "Yes. And I'm their grandmother!"

I still remember the expression on the woman's face. She never said another word as we went about our business.

I thought "Sweet 16" might get a laugh out of the story, just as I still do. -- BEEN THERE IN APPLE VALLEY, CALIF.

DEAR BEEN THERE: I'm sure she will relate to it -- as will many others. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am now 21, but I used to baby-sit often. If I took the kids to carnivals, libraries, etc., I would be subjected to those same stares and whispers. I talked to some of the parents, and they surprised me with an adorable T-shirt that said, "Best Baby Sitter." It had the kids' handprints and names on it. Maybe "Sweet 16" could wear one that says, "No. 1 Sister," or have one made for the baby that says, "He's not heavy, he's my brother."

Anything cute would help relieve the situation, although nothing will eliminate all the stares or change the minds of some people. -- BEEN THERE, TRY THIS, GOLDEN VALLEY, MINN.

DEAR TRY THIS: Good suggestions, and I agree with your conclusion. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Sweet 16's" dilemma is not a new one. As a 14-year-old back in 1944, I often cared for a neighbor's infant. One brisk winter day I bundled both of us up and took her out in her buggy. A woman I had never seen before stopped us and lectured me about having a baby when I was so young. When she finally stopped for breath, I managed to tell her I was the baby sitter, not the mother. She "humphed" several times and left without apologizing.

The only way to handle things like this is with a sense of humor. Maybe the 16-year-old and her 13-year-old sister could get T-shirts that say, "I am my brother's keeper." -- JOAN IN FRESNO, CALIF.

DEAR JOAN: That's a terrific idea. And just what the Good Book preaches. After all, in a sense, we are all our brother's keepers.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)