DEAR ABBY: My son is marrying a wonderful lady in a few short weeks. My problem is, he's insisting that I dance with his father, whom I divorced a few years ago.
My divorce was very hard on me, but afterward I lived my life without fear -- until now. I am engaged to a wonderful man whom my son appears to like. I am so upset over this request that I touch or put my arms around my ex-husband that I don't know what to do. This man put me through pure hell before I left, and my son knows it. When I left I had nothing. My parents paid for my divorce, apartment and my son's college education.
His father lied, would bring his girlfriend into our home with us there, never paid bills, even borrowed our son's cell phone, ran up $900 in charges and refused to pay. When an important event is going on in my son's life, I'm there and always civil to his father. But I will not let that man touch me ever again.
Please help me. I want to attend the wedding, but I can't stand the idea of my ex touching me. I'm shaking as I write this. -- SHAKING IN HARRISBURG, PA.
DEAR SHAKING: Stop shaking and speak up! Tell your son and his fiancee that you will not, under any circumstances, dance with your ex. Your reasons are valid; perhaps your son needs to be reminded of them.