DEAR ABBY: It has taken me years to write this letter.
My husband and I were married 35 years when he died suddenly. I adored him. He was my whole world.
A few years later I was putting my life back together when out of the blue, my "best friend" told me my husband had had an affair, and she could prove it. All his pallbearers knew about it. After much looking back, I knew it was true. I was devastated and have been in therapy for several years.
I would like to thank all of those who knew and kept silent. When a person dies, let all secrets be buried with him.
I cry as I write this, Abby. I loved him so much. Perhaps my letter will keep someone from hurting a person who is already hurting. -- WOUNDED IN MIDLAND, TEXAS
DEAR WOUNDED: A person who pours salt on the wound of someone who is already hurting is not a "friend"; she is a troublemaker. All you had left of your marriage were your memories, and I have to wonder why someone would want to destroy them. I hope that your years of therapy have helped you put your feelings of anger and betrayal into perspective, and to focus on the many wonderful years you had together -- because in the long run that is all that's important. You have years of life ahead of you, and it would be a tragedy if you spent them crying over something that no one can change and was better left unsaid.