DEAR ABBY: You have encouraged adults to volunteer as mentors to young people. I'm writing to describe a program in our community that may serve as a model for others.

The program is called "Grandfriends." It's a partnership between our local senior center, which recruits the seniors; a local middle school, which selects the students; and our local hospital system, which provides funding for after-school activities. In other communities, the seniors might be recruited through a church, synagogue or other organization.

A counselor at the middle school identifies students who might benefit, then matches each student with a senior based on interest profiles each has filled out. The seniors and students are introduced at an after-school get-together. After that, they meet one-on-one after school once a week or so and do whatever the two of them want to do -- shopping, going for a snack, going to a game, doing homework, working on a computer or just talking. Once a month, we hold an after-school get-together at the school, featuring some type of craft project, often with a community service theme. (Last February, we made valentines to send to veterans.) We also organize group tours to local points of interest.

The real magic of the program is the one-on-one bond that forms between the students and seniors. I urge other communities to explore this idea.

Abby, I would be happy to respond to anyone who would like information on starting such a program in his or her community. -- JANE RADATZ, CO-COORDINATOR, GRANDFRIENDS PROGRAM, POWAY, CALIF.

DEAR JANE: Active seniors are an untapped resource, able to offer wisdom, humor, talent and love to young people who need it. I am sure that variations on the "Grandfriends" program are available in many cities. However, if there is none, those who are interested in starting one should send a business-size (No. 10) self-addressed stamped envelope to: Grandfriends, 18402 W. Bernardo Drive, San Diego, CA 92127.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in reference to your column on tattoos. I am a scientist, and it disturbs me that no one seems to be aware of the medical reasons for not getting tattooed.

The dye used contains iron salts. These, when subjected to the high magnetic field on an MRI, generates heat -- which can burn the flesh. Therefore, when you have a tattoo, you are eliminating an important medical tool for diagnosing problems.

Abby, please alert young people to an important consideration before getting tattooed. -- T.R. NEWMAN, PORT RICHEY, FLA.

DEAR MR. NEWMAN: With pleasure. According to my source, there are vegetable-based dyes and iron-based dyes used in tattooing. Wise consumers should determine what kind of material they will be getting. That way they can warn their doctor or MRI technician in advance, and there will be no surprises or unpleasant reactions in the middle of a procedure.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This letter is long, but I hope you'll find it worth sharing with teachers. One of the challenges for anyone who works with young people is to help each child have a better self-worth. Naomi Haines Griffin, a well-known speaker with a background in education and social work, has many suggestions for accomplishing this. We incorporated one of them into our kindergarten classes.

Each week, a child was named "Star of the Week." A spiral notebook was sent home with the student, and the child's family was asked to write special memories or unique descriptions pertaining to the student. Also that week, every child in the class was asked to say something good about the "Star of the Week." The comments of the students and family were then incorporated into a computer poster and were read aloud to the "star" in front of the entire class.

All the students lit up with pride as their comments were read. The "Star" poster became almost sacred to the students, and the activity fostered respect and love for one another.

During that week, someone from the child's family visited our classes and shared a hobby or interest with our students. Paramedics and firemen brought ambulances and fire trucks and talked to the students about safety; mothers who spoke no English demonstrated making tortillas; a director from the animal shelter talked about the importance of caring for family pets and what to do if approached by a strange animal; a father with limited English showed the children how to make a homemade pinata and explained how birthdays are celebrated in Mexico. People from all walks of life -– high income to poverty level -– shared their lives with our classes. The wealth of shared information was unlimited.

Tragedy struck our kindergarten this year when one of our students, Rudy Ortega, died after a long battle with leukemia. When we went to the funeral home to view Rudy's body, we saw Rudy's "Star of the Week" poster displayed by the casket.

Thank you, Naomi Griffin, for showing us the way to help all kids. -– KAREN COOK AND SHELLANE KING, KINDERGARTEN TEACHERS IN MIDLAND, TEXAS

DEAR KAREN AND SHELLANE: I congratulate you. The lessons your students have absorbed in your classroom are something they will take with them for the rest of their lives. Your project also illustrates the many benefits parents can provide by becoming involved in their children's education.

DEAR ABBY: I'm being married in September, and my mother-in-law-to-be wants to wear a white beaded gown to our wedding. I am totally against it and explained my view to her. She still insists on wearing white. I told her it was not proper etiquette, but she says she has never heard that before. Can you help me convince her? -– BLUSHING BRIDE IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR BLUSHING: Clip this column and tell your fiance's mother that she's hearing it now. According to the "Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette, Entirely Rewritten and Updated" by Nancy Tuckerman and Nancy Dunnan: "The bride's mother with the bride decides what she will wear at her daughter's wedding and then tells the groom's mother so she can coordinate her dress. NEITHER MOTHER SHOULD WEAR BLACK OR WHITE." (Italics are mine.)

I hope your fiance's mother will save her white-beaded dress for another occasion -– or you won't be the only person blushing at your wedding.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter you've printed concerning displaying the American flag, I bet no one can top this:

I live in a new duplex-condo community. Our association bylaws forbid any permanent structures of any kind on our front lawns. All the condos are exactly alike -- boring -- and this is meant to preserve uniformity.

An 80-year-old retired Army colonel, a veteran of World War II, who walks with a cane due to an injury sustained during the war, recently moved into our neighborhood. He and his seriously ill wife had always flown the flag -- so he promptly installed a flagpole of the proper size and proudly raised one.

He and his wife would sit in their front yard on summer evenings, and strollers would stop by to visit them and each other. It was a lovely time.

However, not everyone socialized or appreciated his patriotism. More than half the residents deemed the flag "tacky" or inappropriate. An association meeting was held at which the colonel's flag was discussed and voted on by the board. The colonel had prepared a stirring statement concerning what the flag meant to him, mentioning his war experiences. Would you believe the board voted 5-to-3 against him? The old guy was defeated!

The story has a semi-happy ending: The colonel agreed that whoever was willing to do it could come over and remove the flagpole, which had been set in concrete. Abby, no one had the nerve -- and his flag still flies year-round. He still sits and visits with his friends on summer evenings; his wife died three months ago. -- P.H. IN GODFREY, ILL.

DEAR P.H.: I salute the colonel and his devotion to the symbol of our nation. It is sad that more than half his neighbors are not similarly moved.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young widow in my mid-40s. I have a friend who is a widower almost the same age. We've both been alone for a few years. We have children. I live in a small town.

We've gone out a few times and have spent all day together. We talked, laughed, ate, walked side-by-side and listened to music without a spoken word. We've never even held hands, but have given each other playful pushes, nudges, etc., and have sat close together.

It's been months since we've been out, and I know he's not dating because he told me so. Neither am I. Abby, sometimes I'd like to call him up just to talk, or say, "Let's go out," but I don't want him to think I'm chasing him. I need him as a friend and I miss him.

When we run into each other, that connection is there with just a smile. It feels right. Is this all because we shared the same grief years back, or is there more to it?

A small town can be lonely and people talk. What should I do? -- MISSING HIM WITH A HEAVY HEART

DEAR MISSING HIM: Call him. You have nothing to lose but your loneliness.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)