DEAR ABBY: The verse you printed honoring mothers-in-law on Mother's Day was bound to touch the hearts of many. I have a suspicion, however, that more than a few women felt the sentiments did not speak for them. In honor of these women, I'd like to provide you with a bit of doggerel I composed in response. Perhaps you'll want to share it with your readers. -- MAXINE DERRINGER, LAS VEGAS, NEV.
DEAR MAXINE: Your poem is an absolute hoot! I'm sure it will raise more than a few eyebrows. Read on:
TO HIS MOTHER
"Mother-in-law," they say, and yet,
Somehow I simply can't forget
'Twas you who followed him around
To grab whatever hit the ground.
And in your hand, to make it super,
A real gold-plated pooper scooper!
'Twas you who gave him his way when you
Let him demand a separate menu.
Perhaps if he had been a daughter,
You might have taught him to boil water.
His little socks and underwear
You let him throw just anywhere.
'Twas you who taught him how to say,
"What can the world do for me today?"
And so, today, beside me stands
The man that I took off your hands.
You raised him with such cunning knack,
I think I'll let you have him back.