DEAR ABBY: As an animal lover, I'd like to share my story so that others may learn from my mistake.

I have had the best companion of my life, my dog Chelsey, for about seven years. Two years ago, I met "Mr. Wonderful," we fell in love, moved in together, and then the honeymoon started to deteriorate. I learned that Mr. Wonderful had a mean streak in him that I was unwilling to live with. As we arranged our breakup (settling bank accounts, dividing up furniture, etc.), Mr. W. made a very big issue out of how close he'd grown to Chelsey, and he insisted that he keep her. Against my better judgment, I let him have her.

Big mistake! To make a long story short, Mr. W. took Chelsey out to a rural area and dumped her. Mr. W. didn't want her -- he just wanted to get in one last dig at me.

So there I was, blindly thinking that the two of them were living happily ever after. Meanwhile, some kindly country folks found Chelsey and took her to the city animal shelter, where she was chosen "Pet of the Week." For this honor, she made a short appearance on one of the local TV stations' news broadcasts. I almost had a cardiac arrest when I saw my Chelsey on TV described as a "stray" found eating out of trash cans.

Abby, let this be a lesson. When you're breaking up with someone, don't let him have your beloved pet! -- PAT IN FIRCREST, WASH.

DEAR PAT: You and Chelsey are both very lucky -- first to have been reunited against great odds, and second, to have the pathological "Mr. Wonderful" out of your lives before he caused more damage.

DEAR ABBY: My letter is prompted by my frustration with insurance representatives with no medical knowledge. I am a physician, and am frequently asked by my patients to write or call on their behalf regarding a medical bill that the insurance company has denied. Many times, I am just repeating what the patient has already said to the claims person. Other times, I am engaged in disputes with claims people who don't know what they are talking about.

Recently I was explaining a disease process to an insurance representative when she haughtily informed me that she had taken a medical terminology class. Perhaps she is able to spell "nephrophthisis," but I believe her scope of knowledge ends there. Since I don't know how to fix cars, I certainly wouldn't argue with my mechanic about the automobile engine.

My colleagues report similar experiences. My patients share horror stories. I would like to hear an explanation as to why insurance companies employ people who handle claims in subjects about which they are not knowledgeable. -- FRUSTRATED DOC, UTICA, N.Y.

DEAR FRUSTRATED DOC: I suspect it has a lot to do with cost containment. If a medical professional were handling the claims, it might drive administrative costs through the roof; and if a debate actually occurred between two medically knowledgeable professionals about whether a claim should be paid, the company might find itself paying out more fees to doctors. I'd be interested in a response from insurance companies -- if it is short, sweet and to the point.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY IRISH READERS: Happy St. Patrick's Day to one and all. In the words of an old Irish blessing:

May you never forget what is worth remembering,

Or remember what is best forgotten.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a male friend who is a nonstop talker. He talks constantly during a meal and doesn't even stop when eating. He's so rude that he won't let a person finish a sentence. At meetings, people sitting near him get up and move away because of his talking and complaining. My friends refuse to come over if he's going to be there.

One man said he's the only person who can carry on a conversation with himself. His son and I have both told him he talks too much. He thinks his opinions are important, but they are boring.

Abby, he's a faithful and helpful person, and he wants to marry me. We are older people and men are scarce at this age. But I must avoid stress because of medical problems. Any suggestions? -- TALKED TO DEATH IN WASHINGTON

DEAR TALKED TO DEATH: A person who does all the talking is no less a hog than the person who comes to your table and eats all the food. Your friend is ignoring the fact that being a good listener is often more important than being a good talker.

Men may be scarce in your age bracket, but from your description he appears to be self-centered, insensitive to the feelings of those around him, and probably very insecure. If your physician has advised you to avoid stress because of medical problems, try to find a mate who will be more sensitive to the feelings of those around him.

DEAR ABBY: I have a sister I love very much, but I don't understand her. Although she is 35 years old, she still relies on her family to take care of her. And if we don't do it quickly enough, she gets an attitude and won't speak to us for weeks at a time.

Abby, her behavior is hurtful, especially to our father. Frankly, I'm tired of the situation. Please advise me how to handle this. -- SISTERLY TROUBLE

DEAR SISTERLY TROUBLE: You didn't mention whether your sister has emotional problems, or whether she's dependent simply because she can be. As long as she has you to shore her up, why should she tread water for herself? If there is no compelling reason why the family should bail her out, you are doing her a disservice by doing so.

By age 35, your sister should have taken responsibility for herself, so get the family to stand together and send her the message that she's on her own. Of course, I wouldn't expect you to let her drown -- but convince her she must try to save herself before she goes down for the third time.

DEAR ABBY: I have several married and divorced children. I have always helped them in any way I could by letting them keep their belongings, hobbies and junk in my home and even live here. It isn't as if they have no homes -- they do, and larger than mine.

I have been alone for a long time, so maybe they never think of my getting married again. I love my home, and I have found a person I would like to marry and share the rest of my life with. I have even thought of us renting a place somewhere, but maybe I would never get my home back. Would this be wise?

What is the best way for me to regain my home in full without hurting my children? I'm trying to be patient, but they don't seem to "get it." Please advise me how to resolve this in a caring and loving way. I need your help. -- CROWDED OUT IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR CROWDED OUT: Congratulations on having found a special someone to marry and share your life with. Now it's time to share the wonderful news with your children. And when you do -- tell them you're giving them one month to reclaim their belongings because you'll be living there with your new husband and need the space.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I disagree with your advice to "Lisa in California" that she should have her grandfather and father walk her down the aisle. Her father gave up any rights or honors of being a father when he walked out on her when she was 2 years old.

I have lived through a similar situation. When I got married, I certainly did not have my father give me away or even attend my wedding, for that matter. If her father is sincerely sorry for the way he has acted, he should understand her feelings and tell her that he completely understands and agrees that her grandfather deserves the honor. After all, the grandfather was the one who was part of her life when the father chose to walk away. I also disagree with your suggestion that she could walk alone. Why should she?

I have never regretted my decision and I've been married 15 years. Even after my father's death three years ago, I had no regrets.

In this situation and my own, the fathers were the adults and made their own adult decisions. Now it's time for her father to act like the adult he is and take what is handed to him. -- M.A.D.N., DOUGLASSVILLE, PA.

DEAR M.A.D.N.: If you have never regretted your decision, then you made the right one for you. I was surprised at the number of readers who disagreed with my answer -- although not everybody did. Read on for a different perspective:

DEAR ABBY: I must respond to "Lisa," who does not want her father to walk her down the aisle or even to attend her wedding. My parents divorced when I was an infant. By the time I was in high school and college, our relationship had diminished to practically zero. My stepfather, who had been a wonderful "Dad" since I was 6, walked me down the aisle. I do not regret giving that honor to my stepfather, who had been -- and still is -- always there for me. But I wish I had handled it differently for my father's sake.

My father and I have since restored our relationship. We both know we have hurt each other and don't want it to happen again. Most of it was due to lack of communication. I thought he no longer loved me or wanted me around; he thought I didn't want him in my life. Both of us were terribly wrong.

Lisa, if you even think you MAY want a relationship with your father someday, please do as Abby suggested. Include him in your big day. Let him escort you down the aisle with your grandfather, or walk down the aisle by yourself with both of them sitting in the pews beaming with pride. -- J.M. IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR J.M.: I admire your compassion, even though it came to you from the perspective of hindsight. There was, however, a third alternative that both you and I did not consider. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: On the evening of my daughter's rehearsal dinner, she took her father aside and told him she had thought long and hard about her wedding day, and after reflecting on her childhood had reached a decision. She said, "Daddy, even though you have not been a big part of my life so far, I love you. However, we both know who has earned the honor of giving me away."

She went on to say that the honor of walking the bride down the aisle belongs to the person who guided her through childhood, late-night studies, heartbreaks and triumphs.

When the minister asked, "Who gives this woman to this man?" I proudly said, "I do!" -- THE PROUDEST MOM IN TENNESSEE

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)