DEAR ABBY: Everyone knows if you want America to know something, you should tell Dear Abby. My letter concerns a heartbreaking situation all Americans should know about.

Until September 1996, women in Afghanistan were highly involved in public life. They wore contemporary clothes, participated in government, attended co-ed schools and worked in all professions. Many were nurses, lawyers and teachers. Forty percent of the doctors were women.

Then, an extremist military group, the Taliban, overthrew the government and brutally imposed a system of "gender apartheid." Overnight, 11.5 million free, hardworking Afghan citizens became prisoners in their own homes for the crime of being female.

Under Taliban law, the windows of a woman's house must be painted black. She may leave the house only if accompanied by a close male relative and dressed in a smothering head-to-toe garment -- the burqua -- with just a tiny mesh-covered opening to see through.

Women may not work outside the home, attend school or even, for fear of terrible punishment, wear shoes that make noise when they walk. They are forbidden to teach their own daughters to read, and girls are banned from attending school. If women or girls get sick, they cannot be treated by a male doctor -- and since women can no longer work as doctors, nurses or midwives, health care for women has all but vanished. Many have now died of easily treatable ailments.

The Taliban justify all of this as part of an extremist form of Islam, which only they subscribe to -- and which has nothing to do with mainstream Muslim beliefs or the traditions of the Afghan people.

One young Afghan woman told an interviewer: "There is no hope for us. The Afghan women are the walking dead." Not surprisingly, these women are now committing suicide in increasing numbers.

Please, Abby, help bring these lost women back into the world. I'm heading the Feminist Majority Foundation's nationwide Campaign to Stop Gender Apartheid in Afghanistan. Please ask your concerned readers to call us at (888) 93-WOMEN to receive a "Take Action" kit and learn how they can help. -- MAVIS LENO, BOARD MEMBER, FEMINIST MAJORITY FOUNDATION

DEAR MAVIS: When I learned about the plight of women in Afghanistan, my first reaction was that they've been buried alive. The facts are appalling. The suffering that has been inflicted upon Afghan women and girls is oppressive and criminal, and the crimes against them are human rights violations.

Readers, it's comforting to know that even though we are far away, we don't have to sit helplessly by. The members of the Feminist Majority believe that if the United States pursues the same course of action with Afghanistan that concerned Americans pursued with apartheid in South Africa, the economic and social pressure will force the Taliban to halt its war against women.

So far, the campaign has helped to stop the United States and the United Nations from recognizing the Taliban as Afghanistan's official government, and has aided in blocking construction of an oil and gas pipeline across Afghanistan that would have provided hundreds of millions of dollars annually to support their regime.

Please don't wait. Call (888) 93-WOMEN and add your name to mine on the list of people who refuse to watch in silence.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Giving an adorable puppy as a gift seems like a cute idea at holiday time. It can be a great idea, but it can also be a disaster if the recipient isn't committed to caring properly for the pet.

Abby, we have a wonderful dog we were blessed to find through a rescue program last year. She's 3 years old and perfectly trained. I'm grateful she was given to the rescue program rather than the owner keeping her and neglecting her.

Recently, while surfing the Net, I read the following heartbreaking poem. Please print it. Perhaps it will save some beautiful animal a life of misery and neglect. -- JUDITH ROBINSON, CINCINNATI

DEAR JUDITH: I have seen the poem before, and it truly is a heart-wrencher. I, too, hope it will spare a loving pet a lifetime of neglect. Read on:

ALONE AGAIN

I wish someone would tell me

What it is that I've done wrong,

Why I have to stay chained up

And left alone so long.

They seemed so glad to have me

When I came here as a pup.

There were so many things we'd do

While I was growing up.

They couldn't wait to train me

As companion and as friend.

They told me they would never fear

Being left alone again.

The children said they'd feed me,

Said they'd brush me every day,

They'd play with me and walk me,

If only I could stay.

But now the family hasn't time.

They often say I shed.

They won't allow me in the house,

Not even to be fed.

The children never walk me.

They always say, "Not now!"

I wish that I could please them.

Won't someone tell me how?

All I have is love, you see,

I wish they would explain,

Why they said they wanted me

Then left me on a chain.

CONFIDENTIAL TO 'DYING ANGEL IN JOHNSON CITY': You need more help than your pastor, his wife and the members of the church are trained to give you. However, help is available. Pick up the phone and ask the operator to connect you to the Johnson City Emergency Rescue Squad. After you have made the call, please write again and include your address. You are in my prayers.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm the youngest of nine children. When my father passed away two years ago, I moved to northern Ohio to care for my ailing mother. I thought I was doing the family a favor.

When I moved home, I allowed my sisters to control my life as they had for the past 35 years. I finally drew the line and told them to stay away from me. I told them they could visit Mother during the day because I work full-time. (They don't have steady jobs.)

Mother has always loved me, and she knew how they were treating me. She informed them that if they didn't get off my case, she wanted nothing to do with them. This angered them even more, and they stopped calling and visiting us. It hurt my mother deeply. She changed her will, leaving me the house and furniture, and named me executor of her estate.

When mother was hospitalized, she told me not to contact my sisters, and I followed her wishes. This infuriated them, but they did begin visiting us again and calling on the phone, although I temporarily put a block on their calls so they wouldn't disturb Mother.

Please tell me what I should do to win back my sisters' love, but not allow them to control me. -- UPSET IN OHIO

DEAR UPSET: You are serving as "gatekeeper" to your mother, and it's understandably resented by other siblings. They have as much right to see and talk with her as you do. Putting a block on their calls, however well-intentioned your motives may have been, was the wrong thing to do.

You may not be able to re-establish a loving relationship with your sisters, but you could create harmony by encouraging them to visit your mother as frequently as possible. If you feel they are "controlling you," leave the premises when they come to visit.

DEAR ABBY: My wife's mother passed away last summer, leaving her husband alone. He is an alcoholic, in generally poor health, and has been in and out of the hospital. My problem is that my wife has now decided she wants him to live with us.

We have three children and a dog in our four-bedroom house. If my father-in-law moves in here, my sons, ages 7 and 13, will have to share a bedroom.

Abby, I feel that even though she asked me if it would be all right for her father to move in, it wouldn't have mattered what I said. The other evening she asked me when we were going to set up the bunk beds for the boys. My reply was that I was not happy about this and didn't want her father here. As you may guess, she's furious with me and now she won't speak to me.

I am not doing this to be mean, as she says. I believe he is a bad influence on the children. Also, my wife works nights, and that means I'll be the one who will be home with him all evening.

Am I being unreasonable? An opinion from an impartial person would be appreciated. -- ANONYMOUS IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR ANONYMOUS: No, you are not being unreasonable. Present your wife with alternatives for her father such as senior services, live-in help or a senior care facility. The two of you should be able to compromise on this issue even if the solution isn't perfect.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)