DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter about the importance of keeping one's medical information readily available in case of an emergency, I was reminded of an incident that happened to me.

My name is Maxine, and one of my dogs is named Maxwell. We both answer to the name of "Max."

I am a diabetic and have had several kidney stones removed. One night I awoke in terrible pain but was unable to get up and call someone. Both of my dogs knew something was wrong. My collie went to the front window and barked incessantly, until the neighbor across the street woke up and realized something was wrong because I never let the dogs bark without getting up to see what they are barking at. My little dog, "Max," climbed up on the bed and licked the cold sweat off my arms.

My neighbor called my daughter and told her something must be wrong because my dog was barking for so long. My daughter arrived within 15 minutes. She found me unconscious and called an ambulance. The technician asked her if I was taking any medication and she said yes -- that it was on the kitchen counter. He rushed to the kitchen, grabbed the small bottles, put them in a plastic bag, and away we raced to the hospital.

About a half-hour later, the technician came out with a big grin on his face and told her he didn't think it was her mother's medicine. The label read: "For Max, for scratching his back and biting his tail."

We have laughed about it ever since, but I now wear a diabetic bracelet with all the information on it. My doctor told me later I was lucky because the dogs probably saved my life. If I hadn't had immediate attention, I could have died of uremic poisoning. I learned the hard way to have everything written down, to carry the information in my wallet, and also to post it on the refrigerator. -- MAXINE L. VAN TORNHOUT, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR "MAX" and "MAX" (I'm all maxed out here): I'm pleased your story had a happy ending, and that you're still around to pamper and praise your canine heroes. As amusing as the story is, it's a graphic reminder that medical information should be kept readily available, because the need for it can strike with little or no warning.

DEAR ABBY: I'm confused about the answers to the following questions, and hope you'll supply me with the correct answers.

When a man and woman have become divorced:

1. Are his and her brothers and sisters still his and her brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law?

2. Are his and her parents still his and her mother-in-law and father-in-law?

3. Are his and her parents still their children's grandparents?

4. Are his siblings' children still her nieces and nephews?

5. Are his or her siblings' children still cousins to his or her children?� 6. Are his and her brothers and sisters still the divorced man's and woman's children's aunts and uncles? -- FRANCES B., RICHMOND, VA.

DEAR FRANCES B.: After divorce, the "in-laws" become "ex" in-laws, but the blood relationships remain. Therefore, the grandparents are still grandparents, the aunts and uncles are still aunts and uncles, and the children are still cousins.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: You were off the mark in your response to "Mom in Connecticut." Even if she and her husband are paying for the wedding, it isn't their wedding. A bride and groom should be able to invite the people they love to enjoy this moment in their lives. For Mom to control the guest list so that "her" event won't be ruined is completely selfish. Mom appears to want to put on a perfect social event, while the groom wants to share one of the most important events in his life with his family. I shudder to think what else Mom may try to control in the young couple's future simply for the sake of appearances. -- ANOTHER MOTHER, SAYRE, OKLA.

DEAR MOTHER: Many readers sided with the groom, saying a wedding is a family affair, not an "adults only" event. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I disagree with "Mom in Connecticut" that children should not be at her daughter's wedding. If my sister hadn't allowed children at her wedding, I couldn't have attended because I had no one to care for my 5-year-old daughter.

The children were nieces and nephews of the groom. If it's important to him that his family attend the wedding -- kids and all -- then the bride's family should understand. It's his wedding, too.

A wedding should be a good time with your family around you, with the two families getting acquainted to make one big, happy family. -- LISA FELIX, TUCSON, ARIZ.

DEAR LISA: Read on to see how another family who faced the problem resolved it:

DEAR ABBY: My advice to the mom who is hosting a wedding at which she didn't want children is to arrange for a baby sitter at the reception to keep an eye on the little ones. The children could attend the early part of the reception, and then at an agreed-upon time, the sitter could take the children to another room or location and entertain them.

Abby, I have very fond childhood memories of my cousin's country club wedding reception. I was allowed to dress up and attend the big event for a little while. Of course, I got sleepy before the evening was over, but the children's party had a place for us wee ones to fall asleep while the adults partied on.

This approach would avoid bad feelings just as the marriage is beginning. -- FAITHFUL FAN IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR FAITHFUL FAN: A sitter and a separate children's party is an excellent idea. However, some parents think their little darlings belong with the adults for the entire evening, regardless of how fussy or rambunctious they may become, and other parents are unwilling to allow their children to be cared for by a stranger.

NOT CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: You've heard this before, but it bears repeating:

"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." (WILLIAM PENN)

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been married less than six months, and my husband and I are already having problems. The problems stem from a friend and her adult daughter. My husband lived with them for several years, and the daughter became his self-appointed hostess and surrogate wife. (She has a husband who ignores her.)

Since the day we announced our engagement, the planning of our wedding and honeymoon until now, she has tried to control our lives. She and her mother even planned a trip to coincide with our honeymoon so we could "all be together"!

Abby, he is 63 and I'm 43. I don't need her or anyone else planning our lives. My husband is very passive. He refuses to say anything to them in spite of my complaints. He has been friends with her parents for 40 years, and he acts as if he's so committed and loyal to them that he cannot tell them to stay out of our lives.

My husband even allowed the daughter to plan an Easter dinner at our home without my knowledge. She invited all of her friends and family. She tried to plan Thanksgiving dinner at our place, too, until I put my foot down. That made her angry. Now she leaves messages on the answering machine telling my husband to call her.

I have tried explaining to her in a civil manner how I resent her interference. There have been other incidents, and I'm only touching the treetops here. But she has been running my husband's life for so long, my unhappiness falls on deaf ears. I'm at my wit's end. I love my husband, but I can't remain married to a man who's more loyal to his friends than to his wife. What do you think I should do? -- GEORGIA IN GEORGIA

DEAR GEORGIA: Marriage is supposed to be a union between two people -- not four. Old friendships die hard, and it's possible your husband has been so close to this family for so long he's having trouble reorganizing his priorities now that he's a married man.

Tell him how threatened and encroached upon they have made you feel, and that his failure to draw the line is making your life intolerable. And since the wedding vows are so recent, invite the clergyperson who performed your marriage to dinner one evening, to refresh your husband's memory about the meaning of the vows you took together -- particularly the one about forsaking all others.

DEAR ABBY: I would like you to settle an argument that has been going on for a very long time. A member of my family insists that you make up all the letters you put in the paper. I know this is not true.

Will you please print this letter and settle it once and for all? This has been going on long enough. -- UPSET IN VIRGINIA

DEAR UPSET: Although the letters that appear in my column are edited for language and length, there is no way I could make up the thousands of problems that come across my desk every week. And every letter that's published in my column provokes more letters from other readers. The volume and variety are enormous.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)