DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading a letter in your column from Tom Lynch of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Tom said that if we make a law against using cell phones while driving, then other laws might be enacted such as, "No tuning the radio while driving," "No looking at your passenger during conversation while driving," "No adjusting the temperature while driving," and "No driving without eight hours of sleep."

He also said, "We'll always have tragic accidents ... the potential loss of freedom is much more tragic."

I am outraged! I'm 13. My mother was killed in a car accident a year ago, along with my stepbrother. If not listening to the car radio, not having my dad look at me while driving, being cold or hot in the car, or having my dad say he can't drive me to the mall because he hasn't had eight hours of sleep could bring my mom back, I'd forfeit my "freedoms" in a heartbeat! These things are a small price to pay compared to living without my mother and stepbrother because of someone's carelessness.

Tom -- get a life! -- CHRISTY GRIFFITH, PALM HARBOR, FLA.

DEAR CHRISTY: For one so young, you have written a powerful letter. Please accept my deepest sympathy on the tragic loss of your beloved mother and stepbrother. Although nothing will bring them back, perhaps your letter will remind motorists that their cars are powerful machines, capable of inflicting the most severe damage if they are not used with care and consideration for others.

DEAR ABBY: If you're not up to here with responses to "Dad, the Morning Rooster," please consider my comments for publication.

"Dad's" son could have been me when I was young. Alarm clocks never had the desired effect on me. I was called lazy, and my guidance counselor said I lacked motivation. My teachers branded me a slacker. I slept on the bus, slept in class, etc., although I tested off the charts for aptitude and intelligence. Because of my sleep problems, I barely graduated from high school and had an extremely difficult time in college. My employers were even less understanding of my difficulty than my teachers.

Abby, when my wife complained about my sleepiness and difficulty in waking up, I finally consulted a doctor. Guess what, folks! I do not get restorative sleep. I have a condition called sleep apnea that prevents the sleep state from rejuvenating me.

I am scheduled for a surgical procedure that may relieve me of this affliction, and I'm excited beyond words. "Dad" should have his son evaluated at a sleep disorder clinic, before the relationship is strained beyond repair. -- WAITING FOR A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP IN GALENA, OHIO

DEAR WAITING: Sleep apnea can, indeed, interfere with restorative sleep, leaving one still in need of rest when the sun comes up in the morning. Perhaps the young man does suffer from this disorder and would benefit from being evaluated by a sleep disorder specialist. Thanks for suggesting it.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently got back together after a year's separation. I made a lot of mistakes and have been trying hard to make it up to her. We are now getting along better than ever.

There is, however, a terrible, nagging doubt in my mind. In the year that we were separated, my wife became good friends with a lesbian. I would never have suspected anything more than a good friendship existed, except for two reasons: First of all, things between us are great everywhere except in bed. I'm not the most sensitive guy, but her lack of enthusiasm in this department is obvious.

Second, one day last week I was supposed to meet her at her office for lunch. When I arrived, there was a note for me to wait in her office until she returned from a meeting. Being curious about her various projects, I looked through her files. I came across a file with the gay woman's name on it. I couldn't resist. I read through it and was shocked. In the file was a collection of beautiful love letters and poems written by this woman to my wife. Some of the poems were very erotic.

Abby, I can't stop thinking about the possibility that my wife was -- or still is -- lovers with this woman. It's torturing me. Should I confront her with my suspicions or should I keep my mouth shut? -- TORTURED IN OREGON

DEAR TORTURED: Whether you should confront her depends upon how much you want to know. Think the matter through carefully. How will it affect your reconciliation if you confirm that your wife did have a lesbian relationship during your separation, that she is still having one, or that she's bisexual? You will then have to decide if you can accept her as she is, or whether it's back to square one in your marriage -- again facing a split.

Of course, only you can make the decision, but I advise you to proceed with extreme caution.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, but I recently moved 2,000 miles away. We decided to stay together because we really love each other. I know he is the one I want to marry.

The problem is that he says he's going to move here to be with me, but he doesn't know when he will be able to let go of our old hometown. His mother died almost four years ago and is buried in the town cemetery, and he doesn't know if he can leave her.

What should I do? Should I move back to be with him, or wait it out and see how long it will take him to come here? I am very confused. Please help. -- LOST IN ARIZONA

DEAR LOST: Your boyfriend's roots in that town go deeper than his mother. He may be having second thoughts about continuing your relationship. You must decide if he's worth waiting for, or whether you should return home to join him in his graveside vigil.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been living in a three-bedroom house with two other guys since May. Last September, one of my roommates ("John") allowed one of his friends to move into our living room. We all agreed it would be only until the end of the month -- less than two weeks away.

"Alan" had been having trouble with the people he was living with and needed to get out before the situation exploded. He said he would move in with a co-worker in a week and a half. Well, that apparently fell through. So have four other "possibilities" he has since told us about. I've talked with my two roommates, and they are also tired of Alan's continuing to "hang out." Yet they do nothing about it.

Abby, I've tried everything I can think of. As the only early riser in the house, I'm usually up by 6 a.m. I have told Alan that it's past time he moved on and have left the "Room for Rent" section of the newspaper open and circled. I've even collected "roommate wanted" information from the bulletin boards at the university I attend. I've blasted my stereo, turned on the TV, left the front door open in the winter air, pulled the blanket off him, and banged around the kitchen. He doesn't seem to get the idea. Short of changing the locks, I don't know what else to do. How can we get this thick-skinned freeloader out? -- FED UP WITH OLD FISH

DEAR FED UP: It's time for the three of you to confront Alan. It would be best if you did it together. Give him one week to be out of the house, then be prepared to hand him his belongings and change the locks. Expect no expression of gratitude for the time he has spent under your roof, and you won't be disappointed.

DEAR ABBY: My problem is that I have a brother who lives across the country who is planning to visit us and bring the 5-year-old daughter of a friend of his. He befriended an unwed mother and witnessed her daughter's birth, so a bond was formed between him and the baby. The natural father isn't even in the picture.

I want to write him a letter and explain what a burden this would be on his hosts, my husband and me. Abby, a child this age requires constant close supervision, not to mention entertaining, waiting on and cleaning up after, etc.

I know he'll be upset with me if I write him this letter, but I feel I have a right to be upset with him. He never once asked our permission; he just announced his intentions to bring her and stay with us for two weeks. Two weeks is too long for any company, especially when a young child is involved.

Before I write him, Abby, I would like your opinion. -- WORRIED SISTER IN ATLANTA

DEAR WORRIED SISTER: Your brother apparently feels that the child is part of his family. Be diplomatic; write to your brother expressing your concern about entertaining a 5-year-old for two weeks, noting that she may get homesick. If he insists on bringing her anyway, research ways to entertain a young child in Atlanta, including finding children her age to play with. Or make him responsible for the little girl's care and entertainment.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)