DEAR ABBY: I usually get a bit depressed around my birthday, and this past year was especially hard. Two years ago, I lost my grandmother, my father and a girlfriend shortly before my birthday. Also, my new girlfriend dumped me a year ago, just before my birthday. Now I associate my birthday with the loss of people for whom I cared deeply and I become depressed weeks before the occasion.

This year I received two cards in the "snail mail" -- one from my stepmother (which reminded me that my dad can never send me a card again) and one from my oldest sister. I was, however, surprised to receive an e-mail card from another sister and her two small children, another e-mail card from my younger sister and several from Internet buddies. The real kicker was an e-mail greeting from my mother! One of my sisters had shown her how to create a card on the computer and send it to me online.

Because of the snail mail and e-mail cards I received, I didn't feel quite so alone this year. In fact, it was the most loving birthday I've had in years. -- KEN IN GROVE CITY, OHIO

DEAR KEN: Congratulations on having overcome the birthday blues. Thirty years ago, who would have believed that so many people would own personal computers and use them for greetings and personal messages? This age of sophisticated communications technology is a marvel to behold, isn't it? Belated happy birthday, Ken.

DEAR ABBY: This is my first letter to you, but after reading about the woman's husband who urinates in their front yard, I just had to write. When I read your answer I laughed out loud even though I was alone in the house. I was reminded of a solution to a problem that we have here in the desert Southwest.

It isn't unusual for critters from the desert to cruise through town looking for food. The javelina (wild boar) especially can be a nuisance because it travels in family packs, and a group of at least six was checking out my porch every evening to see if my cats had left any food. I'd chase them away, but that deterred them only for a little while. I needed a more permanent solution.

Someone told my daughter about a group of beer drinkers who usually drank outside the house. Instead of going inside to urinate, they'd just do it in the yard -- and they had no problem with javelinas. Other people who were bothered by the pesky creatures tried it, and it worked. I finally talked my grandson into marking his territory in various spots around my yard.

It worked at my house, too. It has to be repeated every so often, but it's such an inoffensive way to be rid of the pests. I'm signing my letter, but do not use my name. It's a small town and I don't need that kind of notoriety. -- ARIZONA READER

DEAR ARIZONA READER: Thank you for an intriguing letter. Several readers wrote to tell me that urine is a pest repellent. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but according to the master gardener, Jerry Baker, urine can be very beneficial in the garden to control pests. I can tell you from experience that urine seems to have eliminated the pack rats that were around our home for years. Since pack rats can be very damaging to one's house, my theory was, "If a little urine gets rid of them, whatta deal!" -- TOM IN TUCSON

DEAR ABBY: Since those of us over the age of 60 are referred to as "senior citizens," that must mean that people in their 40s and 50s are "junior citizens." And if that's the case, it would follow that those in their 30s are sophomore citizens and adults in their 20s are freshman citizens.

If this is true, we would have a new age grouping system that eliminates "elderly" from our vocabulary. For those who ask what comes after "senior," the answer is, "Graduation, of course. We don't die. We graduate." -- GEORGE TIPPEN, SENIOR CITIZEN

DEAR GEORGE: That makes sense to me. And our post-graduate education depends upon the course we take here on Earth.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR READERS: In honor of Veterans Day, I want to tell you about a young man on a mission to remember our nation's veterans in a unique and meaningful way -- by preserving their old letters!

Andy Carroll is the founder of The Legacy Project, an all-volunteer, national effort that promotes a greater appreciation for letters and the art of letter-writing. All of Andy's letters were destroyed when his house burned down years ago, and he knows firsthand how important it is to save old letters before they're lost or damaged. He is also the editor of a book titled "Letters of a Nation: A Collection of Extraordinary American Letters" (Kodansha America), which was recently published.

Andy is now working with the Veterans Administration, museums and archives around the country to encourage Americans to search through their homes for historically significant war letters. These may include eyewitness accounts of battles or acts of heroism, encounters with famous military leaders, love letters, or any other irreplaceable messages or little-known stories that will offer historians and future generations a better understanding of those who served and sacrificed for our country.

The letters can be some you've personally written or received, or letters written by a relative from any war in which Americans were involved. (Remember Grandpa's old war letters in the attic? They may offer profound insight into the life of a soldier.)

The Legacy Project will direct all potentially significant letters to respected museums and archives, which -- with your permission -- will then preserve them for posterity. If you prefer to keep your letters, The Legacy Project will send you information on safeguarding them.

The Legacy Project is not looking for money. It is funded by proceeds from Andy's book.

If you believe you have a historically significant letter you would like to share, please send a COPY (no originals, please!) to Andy at: Operation Mail Call, c/o The Legacy Project, P.O. Box 21812, Washington, D.C. 20009-1812.

DEAR ABBY: Although I have read your column for years, I have never felt so strongly about something that I needed to write to you. However, I recently saw the movie "Saving Private Ryan."

Abby, I have never been so affected by a film in all my life. I'm a 29-year-old woman who has, thank God, never lived through a war -- except the Gulf War, which was short-lived. I was aware of most of the aspects of World War II because of what I had learned in school. However, it never before hit me with the impact it did when I saw it on the big screen. It was so realistic, I felt I was there.

I'm writing to thank all the men and women who have served our country, not only in times of war -- but also in peacetime. I have never felt as much respect and gratitude as I do now. And thank you, too, Steven Spielberg, for bringing this movie to the screen for all to see. -- THANKFUL AMERICAN IN NEW YORK

DEAR THANKFUL: Thank you for your timely sentiments, which I am sharing with all veterans today. Freedom-loving Americans owe a great debt to our servicemen and women who daily put themselves at risk to serve this nation. They deserve our unqualified support, and at least a moment of respect for their many sacrifices.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My friend and I commute daily to work. She works in the tasting room of a well-known winery. I work in the administration office. Our drive is about half an hour round-trip over a twisty mountain road where accidents frequently occur.

My friend has a drinking problem, only she doesn't think so. Working behind the wine bar every day, the wine is very accessible. She drinks two to three glasses of wine for lunch and about the same amount after closing time.

Her husband and her supervisor have discussed her drinking with her, but she shrugs it off. I feel that I need to bring it up because I am a passenger in her car two weeks out of every month. There have been times when I have offered to drive her home, but she says, "Oh, I've driven home with more of a buzz than this before."

Abby, I don't want to be in an accident, but I know that she will have one sooner or later. My husband has told me to call him anytime I feel she has had too much to drink and he will drive me home, which he has done.

Could you please advise me? Should I talk to her? Should I talk to her husband first? I'm very concerned. -- WINE WORKER IN THE NAPA VALLEY

DEAR WINE WORKER: Your co-worker is an occupational accident waiting to happen. Stop commuting with her, unless you are driving, and tell her why. There is no reason to talk to her husband first; he knows she has a problem. She needs to be jarred into the reality that she shouldn't drink and drive. Your lives and her job depend upon it.

DEAR ABBY: A customer's manager recently requested a conference at my office. After the conference was over, he leaned toward me and asked if I minded if he asked me a personal question. I replied, "No," and he whispered, "Why do you have such an ugly secretary?" Shocked, I asked him who he was referring to. He said, "The woman just outside your office."

I looked out at my secretary. "Barbara" was neat as a pin, but I realized she was very plain-looking, with a large, bulbous nose, thinning hair and deeply pockmarked skin. I turned back to the manager and said, "Barbara is so vivacious I've never regarded her as ugly. She always speaks lovingly of her husband, and talks about her children as though they're angels. She's a terrific worker and comes to work every day with a smile on her face. It's contagious."

Abby, that man's secretary could easily adorn the cover of Playboy, but I'll bet he doesn't enjoy working with her as much as I enjoy working with my secretary. -- HAPPY BOSS

DEAR HAPPY BOSS: Many parents have told their children that "pretty is as pretty does." Your secretary listened. Thank you for sharing the incident with me and my readers. You must be a terrific boss.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I are very much in love and we live together. I would like to propose to her; however, she has made it very clear that she does not want an engagement ring.

Abby, I would like to give her something as an engagement gift. Any ideas? -- TIM IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR TIM: You are asking the wrong person. Ask your girlfriend what she would like to have as an engagement gift, and take her with you to select it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)