DEAR ABBY: I read with great interest the column in which a young man asked whether or not to marry his girlfriend of another religious faith.

I met my husband more than 15 years ago. I am Christian; he is Jewish. Ours was a similar situation, and friends and relatives from both of our families advised us not to marry -- arguing, "What would the children be raised?"

The Christians wanted my husband to convert, and the Jews were upset that he was marrying out of the Jewish faith. My husband finally got fed up and told everyone to mind their own business because we were 27 years old and could decide for ourselves in a country that grants everyone religious freedom.

Today we're happily married and the parents of three wonderful children who celebrate and respect both religions. They pray all the time and have a deep respect for God. In the meantime, many of our friends and relatives who married within their faiths have divorced, and some of them do not have children with whom to share their faith. Furthermore, some of them have stopped attending worship services at all.

One relative recently told me that our children cannot respect two religions. I told her firmly, "You have to get over this issue. The children have a Jewish dad and a Christian mom. They do respect both religions, and they could probably teach you something about tolerance."

Perhaps John (the Apostle) put it best: "Love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." (I John 4:7).

I hope the couple go ahead and follow their hearts, and I send my best wishes for happiness to them. -- DIANA K. RUBIN, PISCATAWAY, N.J.

DEAR DIANA: It is my belief that couples who love each other, respect each other's differences and are willing to compromise can overcome just about any barrier they encounter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to couples considering marriage to someone of another faith is right on the mark. Honest communication and compromise are fundamental to success, along with self-awareness and basic familiarity with each other's religion. It's not always easy to know how you'll feel about the religious identification of your children when you're not even married yet and don't really know the difference between a baptism and a bris.

Another resource for Jewish/Christian couples, in addition to meetings with clergy, are programs like "Let's Talk" or "Yours, Mine and Ours," sponsored by Reform Jewish Outreach. Couples meet with the guidance of a trained facilitator to explore common issues of child-rearing and family holidays and to search out solutions that work for them. -- DRU GREENWOOD, DIRECTOR, UNION OF AMERICAN HEBREW CONGREGATIONS, COMMISSION ON REFORM JEWISH OUTREACH

DEAR DRU: Thank you for letting my readers know about this resource. "Let's Talk" groups and Introduction to Judaism classes are available throughout North America and can be found on the Internet at http://uahc.org/outreach/ or by calling Reform Jewish Outreach at the Union of American Hebrew Congregations at (212) 650-4230.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: Please settle a dispute between my husband and me. On a recent business trip he took with five male co-workers and one female co-worker, my husband spent the night in the same room (two double beds in one room) as the woman. When I found out, I hit the ceiling. I don't think it is proper for a married man to share a room with a single woman with whom he works, no matter how innocent or harmless he claims the situation was. I think it also shows a lack of respect for the spouse sitting at home.

The company did not book enough rooms so the woman could have a room of her own, nor did they check to see if a rollaway bed was available so my husband could room with two other men.

My husband doesn't think there was anything wrong with this arrangement and neither did anyone else on the trip. If I hadn't let him know how upset I was, he would have spent all three nights in the same room with her. Now he is upset with me because he had to pay to move to a different hotel. I'm thinking he may have to change jobs if this is the way this company runs its business trips. Please give me your opinion. -- UPSET IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR UPSET: It was inappropriate for your husband's company to have booked him in a room with a woman, regardless of either's marital status. Your husband took proper action by moving to another hotel, and the company should reimburse him for his expenses.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 27 years. My in-laws live in another time zone, one hour ahead. When they come here to visit, they stay on their normal schedule. They expect to eat, go to bed, get up, etc., just as they do when they are at home. They literally take over, and my family is expected to do everything on THEIR time.

Abby, I was taught that when you're a houseguest, you're supposed to fit into the lifestyle of your host.

My father-in-law takes us out to eat when he comes here. Does that give him the right to take over our house, boss us, and force us to adapt to his schedule? Please let me know what to do. I'm at my wit's end about this. Should I keep my mouth shut or demand that when they visit they be more considerate?

Please don't reveal my name or location. My husband sides with his parents in this and has threatened to divorce me if I say anything to them about the way I feel. I think it's very rude behavior on the part of the in-laws. They should know better, as they're in their late 60s and early 70s. -- FURIOUS

DEAR FURIOUS: After 27 years, I think it's far too late to change the rules. Your husband's parents are too old to change at this point. As people grow older, their schedules become more difficult to alter. Continue being the accommodating hostess you have always been, and keep the visits -- and the conflict -- to a minimum.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Recently a neighbor, and friend of 12 years, purchased a new riding mower after the engine on his mower burned out. He asked if my husband would have any interest in the old mower, and said that if he didn't, it would be put out on the curb with a sign reading "free for the taking." Knowing the mower was in good shape, and that he could rebuild the engine or replace it, my husband accepted the offer. We felt this was a generous gift and we needed to replace our mower anyway.

A few days later, we came home to find our neighbor's new mower in our driveway. We thought he had brought it over for us to borrow while the one he gave us was in the repair shop. When we asked, he said it was the new one he had bought recently and he wanted us to have it. He had gotten another one for himself.

We tried to refuse such an expensive gift, but he became insistent and said he wanted us to have it. It made him happy to give it to us.

Abby, these neighbors are not wealthy. In fact, they are both in poor health and his wife is terminally ill. It seems too generous a gift to accept. Even if you feel we should accept it, it seems a waste of money that could be spent in a more practical way. -- GRATEFUL BUT UNCOMFORTABLE IN MAINE

DEAR GRATEFUL: Accept the gift graciously. It made your neighbor happy to give the mower to you. It would be wonderful if you repaid his generosity by being there for him and his ailing wife during this difficult time. Or perhaps you could be a Good Samaritan by doing an unexpected favor for someone else down the road. Good deeds have been known to generate other good deeds.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the letter from "Dreading It in the Carolinas," who suggested that people check out the comfort level of their guest room -- or lack thereof.

Abby, we're on the verge of needing a booking agent to manage the comings and goings of all our houseguests. Often there are only a few hours between guests in which to change the sheets and clean the bathroom.

I always put fresh flowers in the guest room, offer turn-down service in the evenings and serve meals planned well in advance. Yet, I overhear comments that the bed is too soft, the bed is too hard, the house is too hot or too cold, the bird is too noisy, the dog is too friendly, ad infinitum. And yes, I have experienced the veiled insult of sheets, towels, silverware, etc., received as hostess gifts.

Abby, our guests are welcome to share whatever worldly possessions we have, but if what we have doesn't meet their standards, perhaps the hotel down the street would be more to their liking. People who hitchhike shouldn't complain that there's no heater in the car! -- LOVE ME, NOT MY HOUSE, COEUR D'ALENE, IDAHO

DEAR LOVE ME: I suspect you may be overreacting to some of the comments you've overheard. The volume of guests you're entertaining attests to the quality of your hospitality. I'm sure you are an excellent hostess. However, to regard hostess gifts you have received from former houseguests as "veiled insults" only generates ill-feeling where no offense may have been intended, so please try to be less defensive.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)