DEAR ABBY: I desperately need some advice. I am a physician, married to a beautiful woman for 20 years, and we have three teen-age children. My wife and I are in our 40s.
In 1995, my wife confessed she had a seven-year affair with my best friend. He would come to our house after I went to work and they would have sex in our bed. Although my wife never showed me any affection during that period, I blamed it on the strain of raising three children, never suspecting her infidelity.
She let word of the illicit affair slip when I teased her about her old boyfriends. I was devastated, but I didn't let on. She apologized, and our marriage continued for the sake of the children. In the last two years, my wife has been especially loving and affectionate toward me.
Earlier this year, my married sister-in-law (I'll call her Marie) stayed with us for four months. She confided to me that she had an unsatisfactory sex life with her husband. One thing led to another, and we slept together several times. Marie has since returned home.
Now I feel guilty and would like to confess this indiscretion to my wife to clear my conscience, but I am not sure how she'll react.
Though it will even things out, I do not want to hurt my wife or expose Marie's behavior. Should I tell my wife about the affair with her sister? -- ONLY HUMAN IN KENTUCKY
DEAR ONLY HUMAN: I question your motives for confession. Remember the pain that your wife's confession caused you? While confessing may be good for the soul, it will undoubtedly hurt others. I suggest you confess to your clergy instead.