life

Dogs or Kids in Closed Cars May Lead to Summer Disaster

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 21st, 1998 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Recently on a very hot day, I saw two dogs left in parked cars with the windows up. It's that time of year when people need to be reminded never to leave pets or children alone in vehicles. It could be deadly.

When riding in an air-conditioned vehicle, it's easy to forget how quickly the temperature rises once the vehicle is turned off and sitting in the sun. Even on a comfortable day, the temperature climbs quickly and becomes a hazard in only a few minutes. A quick trip to the store could be fatal.

Also, I would like to remind people that animals need shade. Doghouses in the sun do not provide the shelter pets require. It can be hotter inside the doghouse than outside. What a difference could be made by simply placing the doghouse under a shady tree. And please, provide plenty of cool, fresh water and food in clean bowls that cannot be easily tipped over. Remember, a metal bowl conducts heat and cold.

Animals have feelings just like people. Please have a little compassion, and don't keep a dog tied up in the yard day in and day out without giving it some attention.

Please be on the lookout for helpless animals that are left in these situations, and notify the owners or the proper authorities. These animals cannot defend themselves. Their lives and well-being depend on YOU.

A final thought: Please neuter or spay your cats and dogs. Neutered animals make better pets, and this would alleviate the tragedy of thousands of unwanted animals who die each year. -- AN ANIMAL LOVER, FREDERICKTOWN, OHIO

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Many readers will appreciate your timely reminder that pets, as well as children, are vulnerable to the heat of summer. Neither should be left unsupervised in a locked vehicle, even for a few minutes. To do so would invite tragedy.

life

Dear Abby for July 21, 1998

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 21st, 1998 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm 71 years old and feel good, but I follow the same routine every day.

Abby, I arise between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m. every morning, read the newspaper, do the crossword and Jumbleword, watch soap operas for an hour and a half, and then go to bingo.

I have a male companion living with me who works several days a week. Even when he is off work, he tells me to go ahead and go to bingo because he knows I like it. He's very good to me and gives me his whole paycheck.

Abby, I look forward to bingo and consider it socializing, but I am stuck in a rut. I wonder why I'm so regimented. Is this normal? I think I should sign this ... BINGO ADDICT

DEAR BINGO: Bingo! Your signature says it all: I suspect that what you are hooked on is the rush you get from gambling. However, since you're hurting neither yourself nor your companion, I wouldn't classify this as a "problem."

If you like, test yourself for addiction. Make plans with your companion or a friend to go to the movies on a bingo afternoon and see if you are able to carry through with your plans. If you can't resist canceling in favor of bingo, you may be bingo-compulsive, but not necessarily a problem addict.

life

Dear Abby for July 21, 1998

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 21st, 1998 | Letter 3 of 3

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Server's Last Service Should Be to Give Customer Change

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 20th, 1998 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I go out for lunch quite often. Our check is typically about $15, to which I customarily add a 15 percent tip.

My problem is the food servers who ask if I want my change back. This puts me in an awkward situation because it appears that the server is expecting a $5 tip, which in my opinion is too much for a $15 check.

Abby, this happens all the time, and it's getting me steamed. I think it's totally improper for a food server to ask for a tip, and to specify the amount.

How would you handle a situation like this? -- STEAMED IN BOSTON

DEAR STEAMED: I would tell the server that, yes, I wanted my change. Then I'd leave a 15 or 20 percent tip, depending on the service I'd received. Although in the past, servers have written to tell me that the question is asked to save a trip back to the table, I consider it to be presumptuous. Servers should courteously return change to the customer as a matter of course.

life

Dear Abby for July 20, 1998

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 20th, 1998 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: This letter is in response to "Lost in North Carolina," who has herpes.

I am fortunate to be in a relationship with a fine woman who knows how much she is worth and brings joy and a great attitude into my life and the lives of her children. Yes, she has herpes. She had it long before I met her, and I knew she had it before I asked her to go out with me. She had so many of the important qualities I was looking for in a woman that it was not an issue.

With proper care and proper precaution, "Lost in North Carolina" can have a normal life and a great sex life to go with it. My darling and I have been together two years, and I have not contracted herpes. I expect to live a long life with her and not have a problem. And if I get herpes, it will not be the end of the world. There is life after herpes.

To "Lost," I would say, "Start believing in yourself and don't look for reasons to fail. If you think no one will want you, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The fact that you have herpes will not stop someone from loving you. What will is a defeatist attitude." Sign me ... HOLDING THE HAND OF SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THERE

DEAR HOLDING: I subscribe to your philosophy for successful living -- and it applies to more challenges than herpes. Thank you for a helpful letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I write to offer hope to the lady who confided to you that she feels that now she has genital herpes, no one will ever want her.

When I caught genital herpes two years ago, I felt the same way. Back then I took your advice and contacted the Herpes Foundation. These caring people got me set up with my local support chapter and I began attending their monthly meetings. Through these meetings I met my soul mate, who is also afflicted.

We plan to be married in the future. Out of something bad came something wonderful! I hope this helps the woman who wrote to you by letting her know that all is not lost. -- LIVING (WELL) IN MESA, ARIZ.

life

Dear Abby for July 20, 1998

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 20th, 1998 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem that may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it really bothers me.

I meet people, and the next time I see them, they do not remember having met me. While I can't always remember the name of a new acquaintance, I can at least remember having met that person.

Abby, it's a blow to my ego when someone has no recollection of having met me. I admit that I am on the shy and quiet side; perhaps that is why I'm not remembered.

Is there anything I can do to make a lasting impression? -- MR. FORGETTABLE

DEAR MR.: A good way to be remembered is to pay a new acquaintance a compliment. You need not go overboard, but everyone appreciates being complimented.

life

Dear Abby for July 20, 1998

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 20th, 1998 | Letter 4 of 4

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Tty Phone Service Provides Lifeline for Hearing Impaired

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 19th, 1998 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: As a young woman with a hearing impairment, I am grateful for TTY (Text Teletypewriter) and TDD (Telecommunications Device for the Deaf), but I find that a large segment of the population is not familiar with these wonderful services.

Many people are intimidated by TTY or TDD. Most secretaries, receptionists and business people don't have a clue as to how to deal with a TTY client. A changed appointment date can turn an entire office into a tizzy. They don't know how to notify me. Some believe they must have a TTY phone to contact a TTY user, which is not the case. Most are unnerved by the process and simply do not bother, leaving those with a hearing impairment isolated and uninformed. I hope this letter will help people better understand and use TTY and TDD.

Instead of the usual handset, a TTY phone has a keyboard and a display panel. These phones are owned by persons who have a hearing deficiency and have difficulty understanding speech. Instead of hearing, one SEES the messages as they are transmitted by means of a telephone line.

To talk to the user of a TTY phone, you do not need a special phone. Simply dial a relay service, and calling assistants will make the connection for you. The relay number (a toll-free 800 number) is shown in the information pages at the front of every telephone directory. Use this number regardless of the destination of your call.

Once the calling assistant has made the connection and the phone is answered, your oral responses are typed for the hearing-impaired person, who reads it and types a response that the calling assistant reads to you. Thus, a conversation can be carried on. I cannot praise calling assistants highly enough. These men and women are paragons of patience and perform their duties with tact and decorum.

Abby, I and many others would appreciate your publishing this information about TTY and TDD, which for those with hearing impairments means the difference between being able to conduct one's own affairs or having to depend on others. -- L.L. LARSON, FRANKLIN, WIS.

DEAR L.L: I, too, have been hesitant to conduct a TTY phone call in the past. Thank you for a fascinating letter that will educate countless readers, as it did me.

life

Dear Abby for July 19, 1998

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 19th, 1998 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My wife is a fanatic about health. Shortly after we were married more than 50 years ago, she got the idea that smoking is bad for people. She solved my smoking problem her way. Every time I reached for a cigarette, she whacked me and stomped on the cigarette. I haven't smoked for the last 40 years.

She studied nutrition and diet and directed me to good health. When I reached for a not-so-healthy spoonful, I had to listen to a half-hour lecture. She yells at me, "It's time for our mile walk." I don't argue. We walk about five miles a week.

As a result of this behavior, my health is above average for my age. She has been a guardian angel to this ordinary husband. How can I show my sincere appreciation for the happier and healthier life I've enjoyed because of her? -- LUCKY OLD GUY IN OREGON

DEAR LUCKY: You just did. Place this column next to her jar of wheat germ in the morning. I wish you both many more years of good health.

life

Dear Abby for July 19, 1998

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 19th, 1998 | Letter 3 of 3

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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