DEAR ABBY: I would be grateful for the rest of my life if you would please print this. It could save lives.

Many people are not aware that there are now seat belts for dogs. They cost between $10 and $20, and keep dogs from jumping out of windows or crashing through windshields in accidents.

As an additional benefit, the animals are forced to sit and cannot jump all over the car, which is a distraction for the driver.

I bought my dog, Puppet, a seat belt at the local pet store. Every time I see a dog on a driver's lap in front of the steering wheel, I have the urge to make the driver stop so that I can show him or her Puppet's seat belt. -- ELISABETH SAENZ, GARLAND, TEXAS

DEAR ELISABETH: I didn't know that seat belts for dogs existed, but they certainly make sense. By the way, yours was not the only letter from a concerned animal lover that arrived today in my mail. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Please print this warning to your bird-loving readers. It is unsafe to put red dye into the sugar water for hummingbird feeders. The dye causes tumors to develop on the birds' tongues, which prevents them from feeding, and they die.

Please, Abby, help defenseless hummingbirds. They don't need red dye to find the food. -- ARIZONA APRIL

DEAR ARIZONA APRIL: According to the National Audubon Society in New York and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, "There is no evidence that adding red (or other) food coloring to sugar water will harm birds." A more practical idea is to put your feeder near red flowers or buy a red hummingbird feeder.

Bird lovers should be aware that sugar water ferments when left in the hot sun, turning the nectar deadly. Do not put out a feeder unless you are willing to clean it once or twice a week.

DEAR ABBY: I felt sad for "Hurt Bride," who couldn't accept her pregnant sister-in-law as a bridesmaid. She is forgetting that there is cause for much celebration in her family -- a wedding AND a new baby.

A week after my husband's sister and her fiance announced their wedding date, we had to call and tell them I was pregnant and due right around the date of their wedding. My husband might have been able to attend the wedding if the baby was born by then, but that was all we could promise. Instead of being hurt, they congratulated us and postponed their wedding for two months.

At the wedding, when I thanked my new brother-in-law for rearranging their plans for us, he touched our new baby's head and said, "You were worth it." One reason I like reading your column is that it reaffirms what wonderful families I was born and married into. -- SUZANNA BORTZ, LAGUNA NIGUEL, CALIF.

DEAR SUZANNA: "Hurt Bride" would be wise to note your families' priorities.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend who has a boy, 11, and a girl, 8 1/2. They sleep together even though each has his or her own bedroom. They bathe and play in the tub together unsupervised with the door shut.

When one has to use the bathroom, many times the other one will run to use it, too.

I have been told that the boy puts his hands between the girl's legs when they play and wrestle -- and at other times.

It appears that all of this could go on for years. Is this behavior OK? Please don't tell me to talk to their mother. She doesn't take advice well. -- CONCERNED

DEAR CONCERNED: No, that behavior is NOT OK. This boy and girl should have been separated years ago, around the time they began showing an interest in each other's genitals. According to my experts, the kinds of activities you described are too sexually stimulating for children their age. Where is their mother's common sense?

DEAR ABBY: With all groups of friends, there is always the one unofficial photographer -- the person who never forgets to bring a camera and take pictures of all events. I am that person in our group of friends.

I love to take pictures and realize the importance of recording special times. Of course, everyone wants copies of these pictures. I usually make copies and give them to my friends. However, it costs me money to buy the film and batteries for my camera, and to develop the film and order extra copies. It would be very awkward to ask friends to pay for these pictures.

Here is my suggestion: For anyone who has that friend who is always giving you pictures, how about giving them some film? Don't say that you don't know what kind to buy; any camera shop can tell you what would be standard. What a nice treat to give to the person who so generously treated you many times.

Abby, many "photographers" will thank you for printing this. -- SNAPPING AWAY IN GREER, S.C.

DEAR SNAPPING: I've got the picture, and I'm pleased to share it with my readers. Now let's see what develops.

DEAR ABBY: In response to "Mom in Denver," who asked what great moms do that make them great: My mother was a great mom, but I never realized it until after I graduated from college.

She always had dinner on the table, cleaned up after me and, of course, bought me most of the things I wanted that seemed reasonable. But what I remember most is that she was ALWAYS THERE for me. I was an athlete -- gymnastics, track, cross country -- in high school. I could always count on her being there. She'd drive five hours to watch a 15-minute race, then turn around and drive home. That is what I really remember.

I realize now that knowing my mom would always be there for me unconditionally made me secure and self-confident in a way that has carried over to my adult life. -- MELISSA IN SCOTTSBLUFF, NEB.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR READERS: Today is Father's Day, and I offer good wishes not only to fathers everywhere, but also to those caring individuals who are donating their time mentoring youngsters whose fathers are absent or deceased.

On Mother's Day, I printed a poem titled "The Reading Mother" by Strickland Gillilan. It reminded me that a few years ago, Hilda Bigelow, a retired teacher in Cocoa, Fla., wrote a companion poem honoring her father on his day. Read on:

FATHER TALKED TO ME

I had a father who talked with me --

Allowed me the right to disagree.

To question -- and always answered me,

As well as he could -- and truthfully.

He talked of adventures; horrors of war;

Of life, its meaning; what love was for;

How each would always need to strive

To improve the world, to keep it alive.

Stressed the duty we owe one another,

To be aware that each man is a brother.

Words for laugher he also spoke,

A silly song or a happy joke.

Time runs along, some say I'm wise;

That I look at life with seeing eyes.

My heart is happy, my mind is free,

I had a father who talked with me.

Many readers also have asked me for a prayer in memory of a father who is no longer living. The following is a prayer from my Hebrew Union Prayer Book, the one that is recited on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. It is also available in my "Keepers" booklet:

IN MEMORY OF A FATHER

"Thy memory, my dear father, fills my soul at this solemn hour. It revives in me thoughts of the love and friendliness which thou didst bestow upon me. The thought of these inspires me to a life of virtue; and when my pilgrimage on Earth is ended and I shall arrive at the throne of mercy, may I be worthy of thee in the sight of God and man. May our merciful Father reward thee for the faithfulness and kindness thou has ever shown me; may he grant thee eternal peace. Amen."

DEAR ABBY: Being a good parent is the hardest job in the world. Sometimes we succeed; sometimes we fail. You had a poem in your column once on how to measure success as a parent. Would you please run it again? -- A WEARY FATHER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR WEARY: This should cheer you up.

SUCCESS

by Martin Buxbaum

You can use most any measure

When you're speaking of success.

You can measure it in fancy home,

Expensive car or dress.

But the measure of your real success

Is the one you cannot spend.

It's the way your kids describe you

When they're talking to a friend.

Happy Father's Day!

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)