DEAR ABBY: I've been reading your column for years, and must say I enjoy them. In the past, you have written about people using the bathroom and not washing their hands. Some people I have seen will rinse their hands, but don't use any soap. Don't they know that water alone won't kill germs?

People should teach their children to wash their hands with soap. You don't have to have a college degree to know how to be careful. Won't you please print that item again, Abby? Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. -- SOUTH CAROLINA NATIVE

DEAR SOUTH CAROLINA: Here it is:

DEAR ABBY: People come to you with every conceivable problem, so I'm encouraged to present one that's so touchy I've never seen it mentioned in your column.

How do you get people to wash their hands after using the bathroom? In our home, the bathroom is right off the kitchen, and when the water is turned on, it can be heard in the next room. Guests have gone into our bathroom, used the toilet (I can hear the toilet being flushed), and then come out without having turned on the faucet, so I know they haven't washed their hands. Then after supper, they offer to help me dry the dishes! (I always say, "No, thank you!"). There's no telling what kind of infection could be transferred to my dishes from those unwashed hands.

Worse yet, where I work there's a cafeteria, and I've seen some cafeteria employees walk out of a bathroom stall and go straight out to serve the people without having washed their hands. Some of them even wipe and dry the dishes as they come out of the dishwasher. Can you imagine the disease risks a diner faces when he uses these "freshly washed" dishes?

Abby, please explain how dangerous this is. If you print this, I promise to frame it and hang it above our toilet. -- PLEASE WASH IN WINONA, MINN.

DEAR PLEASE: I cannot stress too emphatically how important this one specific area of hygiene is to good general health. Children should be taught to wash their hands with soap after using the bathroom and adults should have made it a lifelong habit.

The Mayo Clinic, the medical mecca of the world, has sponsored "Infection Awareness Week" programs. As part of its campaign, prominently displayed along the corridors of the Mayo hospital complex were posters showing a pair of hands under this terse message: "The 10 Most Common Causes of Infection."

To remind doctors, nurses and employees of the Mayo Clinic to wash their hands frequently were other posters bearing this catchy message: "A milligram of hand washing is worth a kilogram of antibiotics."

One final no-no on this subject: One must never use a napkin from the table as a handkerchief and then carelessly allow it to be mixed with other napkins on the table. Quite often a careless waiter or bus person will use soiled napkins to wipe off the table. This is almost as unforgivable as the aforementioned dirty toilet habits. The solution is to use a napkin as a napkin and a handkerchief as a handkerchief, and be certain that each is deposited in its proper place after it is used.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Everyone has heard about teen-age girls who think they're fat when they're not. I'm 13 years old and a little overweight, but I try not to think about it all the time. I know lots of girls who do, and many of them are slim, healthy and attractive. Parents and teachers try to tell girls that size doesn't matter, but most teens think it does.

Magazines, television and even our peers recognize only thin people as being beautiful, so how can you blame girls for wanting to be thin? I'd like to give some advice, especially to other teen-agers.

Girls, if you are with someone who is heavier than you or uncomfortable with her body, don't complain about your own. It will only make them feel worse. Believe me, I should know -- I have been hurt many times by behavior like this.

Guys, let a girl know she doesn't have to have a perfect body or look like a model for you to like her. One reason a lot of girls go on diets is so that guys will notice them.

Everyone: Compliment others. Make them feel loved, accepted and beautiful. Focus on people's good points, not their flaws. Not only will this make them feel good, it will make you glad to know you have made somebody's day a little brighter. -- BEEN HURT BEFORE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR HURT: Excellent advice! It is unfortunate that someone who is as thoughtful and caring as you has been hurt by the thoughtlessness of others. The insight you possess will take you far. I hope those around you conduct themselves by your example.

DEAR ABBY: I am one of those abused husbands who took your advice and moved out 18 months ago. Fortunately, I had the means to have my own place. I am a healthy, retired professional. My wife is also a retired professional with strong willpower. I was a widower (married 35 years with three children); she, a divorcee of about 12 years with a college-age daughter. We were associates at work who had known each other about 25 years.

We started out great and had some great times, but she has a violent temper. She resorted to extremely abusive language, coupled at times with physical attacks. Abby, I never struck back.

My departure was occasioned when, nine days after I returned home from a hospital following a painful knee replacement, she attacked me physically and verbally and told me to leave. At the time, I could barely walk. With the help of my son-in-law, I found a place and moved out.

I presented my wife with a separation agreement which she ignored. She has hinted several times that we should live together for financial reasons. I say that is a poor reason to maintain a relationship.

After about seven months, I filed for divorce. She has responded quite greedily and is trying to wipe me out financially. Yes, Abby, we had a prenuptial agreement, but a lot can be acquired in 11 years together. So now we're gearing up for a complicated and expensive trial.

Nevertheless, I am happy to be out of that relationship. My family is also happy for me. My daughter, her family and my sister can visit me anytime they want. My son is visiting me again. There is no tension now.

So, Abby, I want to tell you that I heartily agree with your advice to abused husbands: "Get out. It may be tough at first, but you'll adapt." -- FREE IN FLORIDA

DEAR FREE: Thank you for the firsthand testimonial. Divorce is never easy, and it can be costly -- but in your case, I'd say it's the better option. Enjoy your freedom; you've earned it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I had to write after reading the letter from "Mom in Denver," who asked how to be a great mother. She wanted to avoid the mistakes her own mother had made with her and her siblings.

I have no children, but my life was enriched and greatly blessed by my own wonderful mother. She loved unconditionally, whether we were good or mischievous. She taught us humility and respect for our fellow beings by her altruistic example. She encouraged us to learn about the magnificent world in which we live, and gave us the freedom to learn about our place in it. She gave us the courage to explore our gifts and talents. When we failed, she never once said, "I told you it wouldn't work," or, "What a waste of time and money." Instead, she praised our efforts and, in so doing provided us with self-confidence and determination so we could persevere and achieve.

Our mother made mistakes, but when she did, she apologized with her heart and soul. When we made mistakes, she accepted our apologies. Conversations with Mother were never "adult talks and children listen." She taught us to express our emotions and thoughts on issues we faced. In short, we learned that we were valued for what we thought and how we felt, because she listened patiently and sincerely.

There was never a question of who was in charge; all it took was a stern look to know when we were on the outskirts of good standing. She knew what decisions a child could and should make and which were the responsibility of an adult, as well as age-appropriateness in relinquishing those decisions. By example we learned to nourish ourselves properly, value our health, and strive to lead full, balanced lives. We learned about God and were schooled in religion, but were also given the opportunity to question, ponder and disagree.

We shared in laughter and in tears. We told jokes and hilarious stories to each other. We had fun and learned to always have time for a friend. We shared stories and photographs from Mom's childhood and teens, so that we could know who she was before she became our mom. When one of us lost a friend struck by tragedy, she'd cry with us and share our grief.

This letter may be too long for your column, but if you print it, I hope it helps mothers like the one in Denver. Our beloved mom passed away from ovarian cancer at the age of 48 almost 11 years ago. From her, each of her children learned to navigate in a world from which she is physically absent. We celebrate each other's lives because we see her within each of us. Now, after having completed my Ph.D. in neurobiology, I'm finishing my M.D. and pursuing a future in neurosurgery. I have wanted to be a doctor for as long as I can remember, but I wonder sometimes if such would be the case had I not had such an extraordinarily great mom. -- MELISSA Y. MACIAS, ORIGINALLY FROM EL PASO, TEXAS

DEAR MELISSA: Not only have you provided great insight in what it takes to be a terrific parent, you have written a loving and eloquent tribute to your own mother. Please accept my deepest sympathy for having lost her at such a young age.

I know she would be proud of raising a daughter who is pursuing her dream, and who is already so intellectually accomplished. I hope that someday you can pass on what your mother taught you to children of your own.

Readers: I have received more wonderful letters on this subject than I can print in one, or even several columns. Therefore, I will continue to print them in the coming weeks.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)