DEAR ABBY: I've been in a loveless marriage for 20 years. Six years ago, I fell in love with a wonderful (but married) man. We shared a passionate, fantastic and totally secret relationship until a year ago -- when his wife discovered our affair. Unfortunately, instead of kicking him out, she chose to forgive him.
He had led me to believe that our love was forever and he couldn't live without me. Now he tells me he realizes he still loves his wife, will not leave her, and our relationship is over.
I will not accept this. I must live my life with him. I am unable to give him up. I'll do anything to get him away from his wife, but I'm running out of ideas. Do you have any? -- DESPERATE IN DETROIT
DEAR DESPERATE: Yes. Get over it. You have confused love with obsession. If you continue pursuing this man, you are asking for a bigger dose of heartache than what you've already suffered.
Concentrate on the husband you have, and perhaps you'll have a marriage as successful as your former lover's.