DEAR ABBY: My husband quit drinking five years ago, and he hasn't made love to me since. The only time he put his arms around me after he quit was when his father died.
I don't think he is having an affair; I think he can't show his feelings unless he's had a drink. I sleep in another bedroom because he snores and reads the paper in bed, but he could come to my bed for sex if he wanted to.
I suggested counseling once, but he said I was the one who needed help. Now it seems I'm only attractive to him when he's had a drink or two.
Abby, I need to be held, and made to feel like a woman once in a while. Life is too short to live like this, but I still love him. What can I do to get him to be affectionate again? -- FEELING UNLOVED IN ST. CLOUD, MINN.
DEAR FEELING UNLOVED: There is little you can do, unless your husband admits there's a problem that needs to be resolved.
If he is content with the marriage and is unwilling to seek counseling with you, go without him. The kind of rejection you describe can be devastating to one's self-esteem. With professional help you will be able to rebuild it -- and also decide what you want to do about this marriage.