DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for 10 years. I've always kept my car in good repair. While I wait for my car to be serviced, I usually sit in the shop's waiting room. Magazines are provided for waiting customers, but all the magazines are about fishing, hunting, mechanics, racing, etc. In other words, the magazines are meant for male customers. Women who bring in their cars are totally ignored.

I have news for these auto shops: I have spent several hundred dollars with them, and I am only one of thousands of women who take responsibility for auto maintenance.

Recently, however, I had a pleasant surprise when I took my car in for service. The new manager greeted me politely and invited me to have a cup of coffee. When I sat down with my coffee, I was surprised again -- displayed on the table were a number of magazines women love to read.

Abby, that manager recognizes that women matter, and you can bet I'll patronize his shop again because they obviously appreciate the business of women. -- PLEASANTLY SURPRISED IN KNOXVILLE

DEAR PLEASANTLY SURPRISED: The new manager is obviously a smart businessman. Women of the world, clip this letter and present it to your mechanic. If he (or she) is as enterprising and service-oriented as the manager of the business where the reader took her car, you'll soon be taken seriously in auto shops.

DEAR ABBY: I am currently seeing a counselor for depression and anxiety. On top of that, I am in constant pain from arthritis and a condition called fibromyalgia.

My counselor and physician advised that walking would improve both my depression and muscle tone. However, until I made a call to the local humane society, I had no motivation to make myself do it. Now I volunteer to walk dogs almost every day. The results have been great -- both for me and the dogs. I get my exercise and several dogs get the individual attention, petting and loving they need, as well as a chance to get out of the kennels. My depression is lifting, too.

Abby, there must be other animal lovers who cannot have a pet in their homes for one reason or another. Walking dogs is a great way to have contact with animals we love.

Words cannot describe the intense satisfaction I feel when these animals say "thank you" with their eyes and wagging tails. All it takes is a stop by the local humane society to volunteer. Sign me ... INCURABLE ANIMAL LOVER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR INCURABLE: Orchids to you. It has long been known that people who interact with pets are much happier and healthier. I can't think of a better way for people to help themselves -- and needy animals.

Readers, this two-way street is a route to better health and happiness for yourselves -- and a welcome respite for furry creatures who are incarcerated through no fault of their own.

DEAR ABBY: I quit smoking 11 years ago, and put my cigarette money into a savings bond for my 1-year-old grandson. A year later when another baby was added to our family, I put a similar amount into a savings bond for him. I repeated this for No. 3.

As of July this year, there is a total of $10,000 in the savings pot for my grandchildren, and the added bonus of a healthier body for me.

It's wonderful what cigarette money can do rather than go up in smoke. -- MARILYN J. OSTRONIC, COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA

DEAR MARILYN: What a terrific idea. It's a pleasure to know that something so positive can come from cigarette money.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Recent letters from "Sick and Tired," and "In the Trenches in Philadelphia" have spotlighted the very serious problem of domestic violence. One aspect of this problem often overlooked, however, is that while many of these victimized individuals have fled their abusive spouses and sought treatment and counseling, they are still left with the physical scars. The emotional healing may have begun, but the smashed cheekbone, the twisted nose or the cigarette burn on the face serves as a constant reminder of a painful past. Unfortunately, the majority of victims scarred by acts of domestic violence are not financially able to correct the damage caused by their abuser's rage.

We would like your readers to know that there is help available. The American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFPRS) sponsors a program called Face to Face: The National Domestic Violence Project, which matches victims of domestic violence with facial plastic surgeons for consultation and reconstructive surgery at no charge.

AAFPRS and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) are proud to offer this service to an often overlooked segment of society. With just a phone call, these individuals can begin to gain the confidence to look in the mirror and smile again. Thank you, Abby, for helping us to spread the word, so that we can help them. -- PETER A. ADAMSON, M.D., PRESIDENT, AAFPRS, AND RITA SMITH, NATIONAL COORDINATOR, NCADV

DEAR DR. ADAMSON AND MS. SMITH: I'm delighted to inform my readers about this effort. What a generous gift!

My congratulations to you and your organizations for conceiving such a compassionate and life-changing program. I wish you much success.

Readers, the Face to Face program can be accessed by calling 1-800-842-4546, the toll-free number operated by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

DEAR ABBY: I have been engaged since late last year. My fiance and I are planning our wedding for next summer. We decided to have a long engagement because we want to save and pay for the wedding ourselves.

The problem: My sister wants to have a family portrait taken with her husband and children, my mother and me. Our father is deceased. I politely asked if my fiance could be included in the picture, but my sister argues that he is not part of the family until he says "I do."

Our mother loves my fiance and considers him a son because of all the help he offers around the house, but she refuses to get in the middle of our discussion. My fiance and I do not live together; we are going to remain with our parents until we get married. I know that legally he is not part of the family, but emotionally he is. What do you think? -- PICTURE PERFECT

DEAR PICTURE PERFECT: Your sister has a point. A family portrait should include family members only. Although your fiance is accepted by your mother, many things can happen between now and the wedding date. Your sister may not want to risk being stuck with a "photographic memory" all of you would rather forget.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I did a careless thing and I don't know what to do next. My mother and I have kept a big secret (I will not divulge the secret) within the family since I was a small child.

This secret has involved numerous lies to outsiders. I asked Mother for permission to discuss the secret with my psychiatrist, and she agreed. We were both comfortable with this, knowing that psychiatrists cannot reveal what their patients discuss.

I did not ask for permission to discuss it with my support group. However, I did discuss it -- and now I'm worried that one of the other members of the group will mention it to someone outside, and my indiscretion will come back to haunt me.

Mother does not know I did this. She and I are extremely close and I know she senses my nervousness. My question: Should I confess to Mother and clear my conscience, or should I pretend that nothing happened? This is tearing me up inside. I feel physically ill and I'm extremely depressed. My mother has been through enough and I don't want to hurt her, but I cannot forget what I have done. -- FEELING GUILTY

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: It is unlikely that your secret will be discussed outside your therapy group, where generally, confidentiality is required. Discuss your fears with your psychiatrist, and ask him or her to make an announcement reiterating confidentiality at the next group session. Since you feel that your mother would be upset by your disclosure, say nothing to her. Then forgive yourself, and let it go.

DEAR ABBY: I was baffled by your response to "Stressed Out in Whitehall, Pa.," who wrote to you concerning a piano that her sister had given her seven years before and now wanted returned. You practically ignored the piano issue, which was the point of the woman's letter, advising her to return it -- and then went on to give her an abundance of information about the chronic fatigue syndrome she mentioned she was suffering from.

Although I'm sure "Stressed Out" appreciated your concern for her health, she wrote to you about the PIANO. Why should she, immediately upon her sister's request, return a piano that was given to her and that she had kept for seven years?

You excused the sister's rude actions by stating that she may have been unaware of "Stressed Out's" illness. Regardless of her health, if she still plays the piano and derives pleasure from it, I see no reason why she should give it up. The piano was given to her, and her sister will just have to learn to deal with it. -- A FELLOW PIANIST IN HILLSBOROUGH, CALIF.

DEAR FELLOW PIANIST: "Stressed Out" said her sister "insists that she told me seven years ago that she was giving me the piano with the stipulation that if one of her children or grandchildren should decide some time in the future that they wanted to play, I would return it."

As a fellow pianist, you certainly must be aware that a good piano is a big-ticket item. Rather than create ill will on the part of her sister, her niece and her grandniece -- as well as to keep peace in the family -- I advised her to return the disputed piano. I stand by my answer.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)