DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from "Keeping My Pants On in Florida," I believe further information regarding genital warts should be presented to the public.

Genital warts are caused by human papilloma virus (HPV) and may have an incubation period of many years. Conservative estimates state that at least 50 percent of sexually active persons have been exposed to the virus. Therefore, if someone or his/her sex partner has had two or more sexual partners, it is not unlikely that they have been exposed.

Certain types of HPV have been implicated as the cause of both cervical and penile cancer, which is why annual Pap smears and male genital exams are so important.

Since the virus is so prevalent and the incubation period can be so long, it seems more likely that this young man's condition came from his previous unprotected sexually active lifestyle. When this condition is diagnosed in my patients, I strongly encourage them not to place the blame on their current sexual partner, as they may have been exposed many years earlier.

I felt sorry for the young lady the man blamed in his letter. She seemed to be a woman of high moral values, and now she's being blamed for something that may not have been her fault.

She should contact her doctor immediately and schedule a Pap smear if she has not already done so. -- DANIEL E. KONOLD, D.O., CANAL WINCHESTER FAMILY HEALTH, CANAL WINCHESTER, OHIO

DEAR DR. KONOLD: I was not aware that genital warts can have such a long incubation period. I'm sure it will also be news to many of my readers. Thank you for pointing this out.

DEAR ABBY: My older son went golfing in Ann Arbor, Mich., in the fall of 1974, and while he was on the golf course he managed to lose his University of Michigan college ring.

Last fall (1996) he received a telephone call and a letter. It seems a maintenance man found his ring. It had been in the ground for 22 years and had only a slight dent in the band.

Can you imagine how many people had walked over that ground, and how many times a lawn mower had gone over that ring?

Abby, as a longtime reader of your column, I just wanted you to know that there are a lot of nice people in this world -- and miracles do happen. -- ARLENE HORVATH, LINCOLN PARK, MICH.

DEAR ARLENE: If there's anything I have learned from my readers over the years, it's that basic goodness dwells in most of them. And it's very uplifting to receive a letter that affirms this.

DEAR ABBY: Your column in the St. Petersburg Times listed people who managed to succeed against the odds.

I don't know about the rest of them, but your thumbnail sketch of the great Italian conductor Arturo Toscanini was quite inaccurate.

Toscanini was NOT a "second fiddle in an obscure South American orchestra." He was a gifted and superbly trained cellist in an orchestra formed by an Italian impresario for a South American tour.

Toscanini graduated at the top of his class at the Parma Conservatory and as a student was nicknamed "Genio" (genius). In addition to being the principal cellist of the touring orchestra, Toscanini was the opera company's vocal coach and was greatly admired by the singers and instrumentalists. Thus he was exceedingly well prepared and equipped for his impromptu conducting debut at age 19, and for the unique career that followed. -- ANTHONY SKEY, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR MR. SKEY: Thank you for pointing out the inaccuracy concerning Toscanini. Mea culpa!

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DEAR ABBY: I have never written to you before, but I have a problem that I hope you can help me with. I have been married to the same man for almost 25 years. We are very happy and have a good life. My problem is my family. They constantly use the word "overburdened" when they describe me and intimate that it is my husband's fault.

I work full time, which they see as a problem. Quite honestly, I'd prefer to be a stay-at-home mom, but in today's world it takes two paychecks. My family knows the statistics, but believe that I'm forced to work because my husband is not a good enough provider. It doesn't help that my sister does not work and they think her husband is wonderful.

My husband works full time and helps around the house. I can't have a direct confrontation with my parents because of their declining health. I also realize it will probably be impossible to change their opinion, but I'd like to know how to handle their degrading remarks. -- HURT IN TULSA

DEAR HURT: The next time a disparaging remark is made about the fact that you are a working wife, say, "My husband is the light of my life. I have never been happier than I have been during the years of our marriage. I can't imagine why you think I am overburdened. And it hurts me when you make disparaging remarks about my life and the man I love."

DEAR ABBY: My situation was similar to that of "Single Dad in San Diego," whose drug-addicted former girlfriend neglected their son. Sadly, a child can be seriously affected by the neglect or emotional abuse of an unhealthy parent. Children who grow up with a chemically dependent parent carry lasting scars into adulthood, resulting in problems with intimacy, low self-esteem, depression, drug or alcohol abuse and more.

Rather than waste time complaining about my wife's behavior and the unfairness of the situation, I put my energies into helping myself and my son. I attended meetings of Al-Anon Family Groups and learned that I didn't have to be a victim, even if I was powerless to change her behavior. Her shame and denial prevented her from acknowledging how her son was being hurt, and she resisted my efforts to get help for him. Fortunately, I didn't give up.

I took my son to Alateen, where he received powerful and positive messages about his own self-worth, which helped to counteract the negative messages he was receiving as a result of his mother's inattentiveness. I also sought professional counseling for him which dealt with the specific problems that children of chemically dependent or emotionally unstable parents face.

It wasn't easy to find an affordable counselor who was willing to see a client on weekends (the only time my son was with me), but my persistence paid off. I was able to find someone who was of invaluable help to my son. He has learned to love his mother while disliking the symptoms of her illness, and he's much better off today than he would have been had I wasted my energy pointing the finger at her and bemoaning my fate. -- GRATEFUL IN SYRACUSE, N.Y.

DEAR GRATEFUL: Your son is fortunate to have a father as committed to him as you are. Your letter could serve as a road map for other noncustodial fathers who are struggling with this not uncommon problem.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: We live in earthquake country, and my family has always been prepared for any emergency that may occur. We have a large area in our basement containing bedding, clothing, food, water and medical supplies for a family of four.

We recently experienced a rather alarming tremor, and my neighbor called to express her fright. When I told her we were prepared for emergencies, she replied, "Well, great! Now we'll know where to come just in case."

Abby, how could I have answered her without being insulting? Surely neighbors should not be responsible for the welfare of others if they are capable of providing for themselves. -- SHOOK IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR SHOOK: You could have told your neighbor that in the event of a serious emergency, you and your family might be unable to provide for guests -- and if she hasn't already done so, she should see that her family is also prepared. It would have been an honest response, and also good advice.

DEAR ABBY: I am 71. One year ago I was healthy and leading a productive life. Then my car was rear-ended by a careless driver.

I would never have believed a person could suffer so much pain from what seemed like such a small accident. I have been in and out of the hospital several times, in such pain I could not cope with it. The doctor kept me so heavily sedated I remember very little (and sometimes nothing) about several weeks of my life.

To make a long story short: I now realize that I had become totally dependent on all the prescription drugs the doctor ordered. I decided to get off them, but it has been really hard.

I realize the doctor was trying to help me, but I was not aware of how dependent I had become. If I can't get off them, I will be a drug addict. Abby, that's not the way I want to live.

Sometimes the pain gets so bad it's hard not to go back on the pills, but with the help of the Lord and my nonprescription medicine, I'm doing pretty well -- which is better than the other way. -- TRYING TO GET UNHOOKED

DEAR TRYING: Although I respect the healing power of prayer, nonprescription drugs can also be harmful if they are taken in larger or more frequent doses than the directions indicate.

Please ask your doctor for a referral to a physician who specializes in pain management. There are other methods, such as biofeedback, which have been helpful in alleviating chronic pain. You could benefit greatly by checking this out. I wish you the best of luck.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I met on a bus and were married five weeks later. On June 9, we celebrated our 63rd wedding anniversary.

We had a wonderful dinner with champagne so we could toast each other -- and we have decided to celebrate our marriage with a similar celebration on the ninth of every month.

We think it's a good idea, because it's too long to wait for another full year to go by. -- LILI HOLLOPETER, PASADENA, CALIF.

DEAR LILI: I think your idea has merit. When two people love each other, every day is Thanksgiving and every night is New Year's Eve.

My belated good wishes on 63 years of wedded bliss. May you have many more happy years together.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)