DEAR ABBY: It's happening again! What is the matter with people? Year after year, pet owners leave their poor animals in hot cars. It is so hard for me to understand how they could be so lacking in common sense.

I'm enclosing a clipping from the Albany, N.Y., Times Union describing our first reported case. It was an 80-degree day and the poor dog was left in a closed car for 70 minutes!

I live near a tourist area, and every summer people visit the outlet malls and leave their dogs in the car with a window only slightly cracked. This infuriates me!

Please, Abby, tell your many readers to either leave their pets at home, or have one person remain in the car with the pet while the others shop. A simple rule of thumb is: If you can't sit in your car with the windows cracked for 5, 10 or 15 minutes because you're too hot, then so is your dog, who's wearing a fur coat. And remember, a day can be breezy and feel cool, but the sun is still very hot and can heat up a car in a matter of minutes.

Thanks, Abby, for helping to take care of these defenseless animals. -- ALBANY, N.Y., ANIMAL LOVER

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Thank you for a letter that may save some thoughtless pet owner a good deal of grief.

The Animal Protection Institute, P.O. Box 22505, Sacramento, Calif. 95822, sells cards that can be placed under the windshield wipers on the cars of thoughtless pet owners.

The printed message reads: "Your dog may be dying! We understand you meant to be kind by taking your dog with you today, but you could be risking your pet's life.

"On a hot summer day, the inside of a car heats up very quickly. On an average 85-degree day, for example, the temperature inside your car -- with the window slightly opened -- will reach 102 degrees in 10 minutes. In 30 minutes it will go up to 120 degrees. On warmer days, it will go even higher.

"A dog's normal body temperature is 101.5 to 102.2 degrees Fahrenheit. A dog can withstand a body temperature of 107 to 108 degrees Fahrenheit for only a very short time before suffering irreparable brain damage -- or even death. The closed car interferes with the dog's normal cooling process, that is, evaporation through panting.

"If your dog is overcome by heat exhaustion, you can give immediate first aid by immersing him or her in cold water until the body temperature is lowered."

These cards sell for only $3 per 100. Allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery.

DEAR ABBY: We received this letter the night before our daughter's wedding. It was Linda's gift to us. If you have room in your column, I am sure it will touch many people's hearts, as it did ours.

"Dearest Parents: On our wedding day, as my husband and I take our vows and make promises to each other, I make this promise to you as well. Even as I take him into my heart and life, I promise to keep you, parents dear, in my heart and life always.

"On this day, know that our love is not divided; it is multiplied, and you are embraced with the full measure of love and promises that he and I share here today.

"For I know that I am able to love and cherish him so much because you loved and cherished me first." -- BLOSSOM R. HOLLANDER, LOS ANGELES

DEAR BLOSSOM: What a beautiful tribute to you and your husband as parents, and to your daughter as well. Congratulations -- you raised a winner.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: We read your column with the letters from breast cancer survivors, and couldn't agree more that early detection is the key to preventing breast cancer. Mammographies are the best tool we have for early detection.

We have introduced legislation in the U.S. Senate to reauthorize the Mammography Quality Standards Act (MOSA) to ensure national standards for mammograms. This crucial law was originally authored by Sen. Mikulski in 1992, but will expire this year if it is not renewed.

Mammography is our most powerful weapon in the war against breast cancer, but only if it's done safely, accurately and by trained personnel. We need uniform national standards so women can be assured that the mammogram they get in any clinic across the country, from Maryland to Texas to Minnesota, is safe, effective and reliable, and that the results are read accurately. Since 1992, more than 9,000 of the 10,000 mammography facilities nationwide have been inspected and accredited by the federal government.

When we introduced the legislation, we sent around an historic "Dear Colleague" letter asking for support. It began, "We, the women of the United States Senate, invite you, the men of the United States Senate, to join us ..." And the good news is -- they did! Right now, we have 47 senators, Republicans and Democrats, men and women, signed on to support this important legislation. A companion bill has been introduced in the House of Representatives by Congresswomen Eleanor Holmes Norton, D-D.C., and Nancy Johnson, R-Conn.

Please encourage your readers to write their representatives or senators and urge them to support the Mammography Quality Standards Act. -- SEN. BARBARA A. MIKULSKI, D-MD., AND SEN. KAY BAILEY HUTCHISON, R-TEXAS

DEAR SENS. MIKULSKI AND HUTCHISON: I wholeheartedly lend my support. Such standards are crucial to women from coast to coast.

Readers, it is worth the effort to take pen in hand and drop a note (or postcard) to your elected representatives in Washington urging their support of the Mammography Quality Standards Act (MOSA). It will ensure national standards for mammograms, guaranteeing high-quality screenings for breast cancer, as well as peace of mind for those who need it.

DEAR ABBY: My only sister recently suggested that she stop giving gifts for special occasions to my three children who have reached the age of 20, but I should continue to give HER children (who are 6 and 8 years old) gifts until they reach the age of 20.

I am uncomfortable shopping for gifts for her children while she totally ignores mine. What do you think?

Please rush your answer because this disagreement is affecting our relationship. -- APPALLED IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR APPALLED: I agree with your sister. Your children are adults. She has given them gifts for the last 20 years. You should do the same for her children without demanding tit for tat. But suggest that she send cards to your children on important occasions.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am divorced and have three daughters. My ex-husband "Sam" married "Connie." She is 11 years younger than I am. Connie has no children of her own and they do not have children together yet.

My girls are under 18, so we still have the weekend visitation arrangement. The last time they were scheduled to visit their father, Connie came to pick them up.

The problem: Connie reeked of alcohol. Sam and I do not live in the same town -- there's about a 15-mile drive between us. Now I'm kicking myself in the hindquarters because I let my daughters leave with her.

I cannot have any more children, Abby, and the three I have are a precious gift from above. Had my daughter's friend come to pick her up and the friend reeked of alcohol, there's no way I would have let my daughter get into the car. I let them go with Connie and hoped for the best because I did not want to start a fight -- which I now feel was incredibly stupid. What should I do if this happens again? -- TRYING TO DO RIGHT IN MINNESOTA

DEAR TRYING TO DO RIGHT: Allowing the children to ride with a driver who reeked of alcohol was inexcusable. You are fortunate it wasn't a tragedy. If Sam doesn't know about this incident, he should be made aware of it.

Since you can't predict whether Connie will show up drunk or sober, in the future either you or your ex-husband must provide the transportation for the children.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were married three years ago in a small ceremony. Since our wedding was small, we decided not to have bridesmaids or groomsmen. One of my husband's closest friends came to the ceremony, but claims he "got lost" on the way to the reception. Needless to say, he never made it to the reception, nor did he present us with a wedding gift.

Now, three years later, this friend is getting married. He has asked my husband to be a groomsman (requiring him to rent a $60 tuxedo), and has already invited us to a "pantry and tool" shower.

In light of the fact that he never bought us a wedding gift, I have a problem buying him a wedding gift, much less a shower gift.

How would you handle this? -- TICKED OFF IN TALLAHASSEE

DEAR TICKED OFF: If your husband accepts the honor of being a groomsman, he is obligated to buy a wedding gift. And if you and your husband attend the shower, you'll be expected to bring a shower gift. Let bygones be bygones.

DEAR ABBY: A young lady we work with had a baby. She was hoping it would be a girl. In fact, we all hoped she would have a daughter, so when we held a shower for her, many of us gave her gifts for a girl.

Well, the baby turned out to be a boy. And guess what? She sent the gifts back to us and asked US to exchange them for boy things.

Abby, I ask you, is that proper etiquette? Or should she have exchanged the gifts herself? -- PEEVED IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR PEEVED: Was it proper etiquette? Absolutely not! She should have quietly exchanged the gifts herself.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)