DEAR ABBY: A woman I have known for some time recently moved back to town and we have run into each other on several occasions. We're both in our mid-20s and neither of us is involved with anyone right now.

A few years ago I began to develop feelings for her that I never had the courage to express. I don't remember when they started, but since her return I realize I still have them, and now when I am around her I can think of little else. I don't know if she thinks of me as any more than a friend.

I've been infatuated before, but I don't think what I've been feeling for these last few years is infatuation. I believe it is love. I want to tell her how I feel, but I fear damaging our friendship.

If I tell her and she does not share my feelings, I don't know how I will get past the awkwardness of seeing her in social situations in the future. Our social circle is tight, and chance meetings would be unavoidable if I want to keep my friends.

What do you think, Abby? Should I take a chance and tell her how I feel? I have everything to gain, but it looks like so much to lose. -- LOVESICK AND LOSING IT

DEAR LOVESICK: There is something that's in between ignoring your feelings and confessing all. It's called a date. Ask the young woman to have dinner with you. Take her to a restaurant where the noise level is low and you can talk. During dinner you'll have an opportunity to steer the conversation in a personal direction. Be attentive to her responses, and you'll come away with a good sense of where your relationship may or may not go. Good luck!

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter in your column signed "Sad Widow in Illinois," I had to respond.

My father died in 1965. My mother was devastated by his unexpected death and was inconsolable. The following May was their anniversary, and I wondered what I should do. Sending Mother a card might cause more sadness, but I just couldn't ignore that very special day.

A friend told me that when her mother's first anniversary had come up after her father's death, she and her siblings did not do anything by way of remembering it. Later, her mother made the remark, "You would think it never happened." And my friend said to me, "Send your mother a card."

So I did as "Sad Widow" suggested. I bought a "thinking of you" card and wrote a letter to my mother, expressing understanding that this was not a happy anniversary, but their marriage was still something to be celebrated.

My mother was deeply appreciative. She called it her "empty anniversary," and thanked me for remembering. My mother died nine days later.

Abby, please remind your readers to remember the surviving spouse on his or her wedding anniversary. It is still a meaningful occasion. -- GRATEFUL JEANNE

DEAR JEANNE: Thank you for your compassionate insight. I wholeheartedly agree with you.

DEAR ABBY: I hope it's not too late for me to respond to your question, "What is a great lover?"

Abby, there's no such thing as "a" great lover. They only come in pairs. -- JOHN WEHRLE, CHARLESTON, W.VA.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My daughter recently asked me if I knew how Father's Day originated. I have been unable to locate any information about it. Abby, do you happen to know how and when Father's Day started? -- IRENE L. IN DENVER

DEAR IRENE: Father's Day was the brainchild of Sonora Louise Smart Dodd (1882-1978), a resident of Spokane, Wash. When Sonora was 16, her mother passed away, leaving Sonora's father, William Jackson Smart, with the responsibility of raising their six children.

After listening to a sermon on Mother's Day in 1910, she mentioned to the speaker that she liked everything he had said about motherhood, but somehow fatherhood seemed something apart. "Do you not think it would be fair and fine to give fathers a place in the sun?" she asked.

The speaker, Dr. Henry Rasmus, agreed. At the next meeting of local ministers at Spokane's YMCA building on June 6, 1910, Mrs. Dodd presented a petition requesting that the third Sunday in June be set aside as a national "Father's Day." It was endorsed by the ministers, and came to the attention of such national figures as William Jennings Bryan and Woodrow Wilson. Both heartily supported it.

In 1914, Congress endorsed Father's Day, and in 1971 a proclamation by President Richard M. Nixon established Father's Day as a national observance.

DEAR ABBY: My husband (I'll call him Dan) is 65. I am 57. We've been married two and a half years. It's the second marriage for both of us. (We were divorced when we met.)

Dan's son is to be married in three months. I've recently learned that Dan's ex-wife has dictated that I am not to be invited to the wedding. Dan is paying for some of the wedding expenses, which is fine with me, but I am heartsick that I will be excluded.

Dan says he is in the middle, yet he has said nothing to them. His comment to me was, "Well, I can't help who they invite."

Abby, I had nothing to do with Dan's divorce -- in fact, his ex divorced HIM. I have been on friendly terms with both Dan's son and his fiancee, and I feel really hurt over being excluded.

Am I wrong to feel this way? And shouldn't Dan have spoken up for me when he learned of his son's wedding plans? -- LEFT OUT

DEAR LEFT OUT: Your husband should have made it plain when he was invited that you should be invited as well. You are not wrong to feel hurt.

DEAR READERS: Today is Father's Day, and I offer good wishes not only to fathers everywhere, but also to those caring individuals who are donating time and energy to mentor young men whose fathers are absent or deceased.

A gift suggestion that is guaranteed to make a big hit with every man who has ever fathered a child is one that doesn't cost a dime: Sit down and write your dad a letter, telling him how much he has meant to you over the years. Tell him how much you love him and why. If you do, I promise you that it will mean more to him than any gift you could buy. Trust me.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: What is a guest supposed to do when entering another person's car or home when the radio or television is playing so loud one can hardly talk or listen?

I have found on many occasions upon entering the home of a friend or relative, the television is blaring. The host makes no effort to turn it down, even to welcome a visitor into the house. The TV has priority in so many cases. Or when entering someone's car, the radio is so loud, again one cannot carry on a conversation.

I realize I am the "guest" in these instances, but aren't there some rules of etiquette in this situation? At times like these, I feel the host would rather not talk with me even when I have been invited, and would prefer to listen to the radio or watch television. If this is true, why was I invited?

I feel this practice is very rude. Possibly the host has no idea that I'm not interested in visiting with the radio or television on. On only one occasion have I had the nerve to ask the host to turn down the volume. I felt very uncomfortable doing it, but my wish was granted. I did not feel I should have been put in that position.

Please comment. Maybe it would help in the department of communications in our society. -- TUNED OUT IN INVER GROVE HEIGHTS, MINN.

DEAR TUNED OUT: A person would have to have the hide of a rhino not to know that when a guest is invited in, conversation with that person supersedes whatever's on the radio or television. However, sometimes the driver or host would like to hear the end of a song or a news bulletin before commencing to chat. And the same goes for a television program they might be in the middle of.

Is it rude? Yes, if the blaring noise continues and prevents the individuals from conversing. But in such cases, you should have no hesitation about asking for the volume to be lowered.

DEAR ABBY: I work two delivery jobs, and I'm amazed at how difficult it can be to locate an address. Hanging plants, overgrown shrubs or partially open doors block house numbers. Sometimes poor color contrasts between the house and the street number (like black on brown or yellow on white) make the address invisible from a distance.

Abby, you would be doing a great service if you asked your readers to step outside and check to see if their address is easily located and readable from the street.

Some good ideas I've seen are house numbers placed near a porch light so they're visible at night, and large numbers on the front of the mailbox post that can be read without slowing down.

Clearly visible house numbers are very helpful for zeroing in on an address. A neighborhood with well-marked houses means hotter pizza, faster package delivery and, most important, quicker response time in case of an emergency. A 15-minute search for an address during an emergency can be the difference between life and death. -- SCOTT RYAN, BREMERTON, WASH.

DEAR SCOTT: Your letter highlights an important issue. Some youth groups offer curbside address painting as a neighborhood project. They return every year to refresh the numbers. Find, or start, a group in your area. A final thought: Be sure your street numbers are clear and visible on your home. They should be placed high enough to be seen over shrubs and parked cars, and well-lighted at night.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)