DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my early 20s. At the end of last summer, suffering from a broken heart, I took a trip to a beach resort where I met an attractive man and had a one-week fling. I know what I did was wrong.
As I was leaving, "Jordan" asked for my telephone number and promised he'd call me. He never did. Two months later, I discovered I was pregnant. I figured I'd better let Jordan know, so I tracked down his phone number (after some pretty extensive investigation), and called him shortly after Christmas.
I know he answered the phone, because he has a very distinctive voice. He was very rude to me, said I had a wrong number and hung up. I never got a chance to tell him about the baby.
Abby, I'm not looking for any support from this man, because I am financially well-off. I felt it was my moral obligation to inform Jordan that he is going to be a father.
Our baby is due soon. The ultrasound indicates it is most likely a girl. Part of me says, "Keep this little girl all to yourself. Jordan will only deny her anyway." Another part says, "Tell him and let him deal with it." I also worry about what I will tell my daughter when she is old enough to ask who her daddy is. Jordan is not good father material, so I may be doing my daughter a favor if I don't tell him.
Abby, please help. I am very ambivalent. -- TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL
DEAR TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL: Jordan has a right to know he is going to be a father. It remains to be seen whether or not he is "good father material." Since you had difficulty informing him by telephone, write him a letter. If he runs true to form, it will be the last communication between the two of you.
Although you may not want to be reminded, you could have avoided this problem had you practiced safe sex in the first place.