DEAR ABBY: For the last seven months, I was involved in a serious relationship with "Rocky." I became close with his parents as well. I baked cookies with his mother, watched television with his father and was considered part of the family.

Rocky and I began having difficulties. In the middle of one of our "breakups," his mother called me and told me how much she missed me. Even considering our young ages (16 and 17), she confessed she had hoped to see us marry one day. Her concern for my well-being touched me and I was grateful for her attention.

My relationship with Rocky has finally ended. It was my decision because I think he has a lot of growing up to do, and I don't see myself in his immediate future. But I miss the bond I had with Rocky's parents. Am I expected to remain friends with them, or do I now ignore their existence? I would appreciate any advice you can give me. -- C.F. IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR C.F.: You may find that as time passes, you will not be so eager to spend time with Rocky's parents. However, in the meantime, there is nothing to prevent you from maintaining a friendship with them if everyone is comfortable with the arrangement. Ask them how they feel about staying in touch with you.

DEAR ABBY: Why aren't you more honest with your readers and tell them why so many men are nervous about marriage? It's because the price of marriage is simply too high for most men. The majority lose 50 percent of their assets and 100 percent of their children when they divorce. They are the ones who pay child support. They are the ones who pay alimony. Men are the defendants in 70 percent of divorce cases and are blamed for most of the problems in a relationship.

Nobody would expect a man to invest in a business with a 50 percent failure rate and long-term financial and emotional consequences. So why are women surprised when men balk at such a foolhardy commitment as marriage?

For the sake of candor, please publish my letter. -- WISER IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WISER: Anyone who considers marriage a "foolhardy commitment" should stay single. Most people enter into marriage thinking it will work, and when it doesn't the fault is rarely one-sided.

DEAR ABBY: I recently came across a book my beloved late wife had stored away. It is called "Tell Me a Story," written by the late actor Charles Laughton. The book contains 60 short pieces which he read aloud to audiences for many years. The next day I read your column on the response to the grassroots literacy project Rolling Readers. How fitting!

Charles Laughton was a personal friend of mine, starting in the late '40s when I appeared with him in the production of Bertolt Brecht's play "Galileo." My wife, Nora Dunfee, spent her later years as a screen actress. You may have seen her. She played the elderly Southern lady in "Forrest Gump" who tells Forrest that he need not take the bus to find Jenny's house. She passed away while still active as a master teacher of speech at New York University's Tisch School of the Arts, where she taught for 28 years.

I am semiretired and am in the process of restoring the house where my wife was born on Christmas Day in 1915. In it will be a library containing over 1,000 books she collected during her 60-year teaching career.

In honor of my wife and all others who live to read, I'm looking forward to starting a chapter of Rolling Readers here in this tiny village. Thank you for this prized information. -- DAVID CLARKE, BELMONT, OHIO

DEAR DAVID: No village is too small to benefit from the Rolling Readers literacy project. I'm delighted you found the column helpful and wish you every success. For those who have missed it, the phone number for Rolling Readers is: (800) 390-READ. You can also write to P.O. Box 927315, San Diego, Calif. 92192, or visit the Web site at http://www.rollingreaders.org.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 28-year-old son who is deaf. He is a contributing member of his community and a wonderful father to his beautiful 3-year-old hearing son.

There is life after children -- even deaf ones, I'm happy to report. As a parent, I have arrived at this "normal" state with the help and wisdom of many who have been here before me -- professionals, parents of other deaf and hard-of-hearing children, and deaf and hard-of-hearing adults.

Many parents with young children recently discovered to be deaf or hard of hearing don't realize that they are in the mainstream. They feel isolated. I talk to some of them daily on the LEAD LINE of the House Ear Institute in Los Angeles.

Because so many parents, their friends and relatives get so much useful information from your column, Abby, I hope you will share two sources of information and support available to them: The first is the LEAD LINE, whose telephone numbers are 1-800-287-4763 in California and 1-800-352-8888 for the rest of the United States, or http://www.hei.org. As a parent with broad advisory support, I respond to LEAD LINE callers with up-to-date, unbiased information about whatever their concerns may be -- potty training to college programs.

The second is a recently published book for parents titled "The Silent Garden," new and completely revised, by Paul Ogden, Ph.D., a teacher trainer who also happens to be deaf since birth. Years ago, his first book was very important to me. This new book, published by Gallaudet University Press, provides parents with sensitive understanding of the issues and decisions before them, the choices available, and the personal recollections and insights of some of the 350 families and 500 deaf and hard-of-hearing adults who participated in interviews and discussions with him through the years. -- BARBARA LINCOLN, COORDINATOR, HOUSE EAR INSTITUTE LEAD LINE, LOS ANGELES

DEAR BARBARA: Thank you for sharing a valuable information resource. When a child is diagnosed with a severe hearing disability, not only do the parents need guidance, they also need reassurance that they can prepare their child for a rich and productive life. Between your helpline and Dr. Ogden's wealth of experience, parents of deaf and hard-of-hearing children should find an excellent resource to benefit their families.

DEAR ABBY: Mom and I have been arguing about something for a week or so. Recently while Mom was visiting her parents, she went into the bedroom for something and saw Grandpa's checkbook lying open on the dresser. She looked through it and discovered that for the past year, her parents had been giving large sums of money to her brothers and sisters.

When she came to me about it, I told her that it was none of her business and she was guilty of snooping. Mom says the fact that she was snooping is beside the point. She feels that she should talk to her parents about those checks her siblings are getting -- because she would like to get some money, too.

What do you think? -- TROUBLED DAUGHTER

DEAR TROUBLED DAUGHTER: Your mother was wrong to have gone through her father's checkbook. But since she did, she should now discuss it with her parents. If she doesn't, jealousy and resentment could fester and cause serious problems later among her siblings.

I agree it seems unfair. But her parents may have good reason for doing what they're doing.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old daughter (I'll call her Carrie) was dating a young man I'll call Brad for approximately nine months. Carrie has a part-time job that pays for her entertainment and also her gas and minor repairs to the car her father and I gave her. When the two of them went out, Carrie would drive because Brad did not have his license, let alone a car. He also did not have a job. He managed to find the money for tennis shoes that cost $150 a pair, but he never offered to put gas in her car.

About a month before Brad's birthday, he asked to borrow $50 from Carrie. He said he'd pay her back when he received money for his birthday. Well, his birthday came and went, and he made no attempt to pay back the money. He avoided her when she went to his house to collect. Neither would he return her phone calls. I was very upset and told her so. After a month of this, Carrie got fed up and finally told Brad to keep the money -- he was not worth it!

I recently found out that she has been seeing Brad behind my back. When I asked her about it, she said she did not tell me because she knew I would be angry. I told her that since her father and I were paying for the car, Brad was not to ride in it, and I did not want him calling my house. I put a block on my phone so that his calls would not be received. When Carrie found out about this, she became quite upset. Now his family's phone has been disconnected and Brad goes to a friend's house to call her. Every time he calls, I block that number also.

I have talked to Carrie about having respect for herself and not allowing others to take advantage of her. I know that this is not my fight, but by accepting Brad's behavior, she is allowing him to think he can continue to do this to people. (I have heard through the grapevine that this is not the first time he has done it.)

How can I convince her that Brad is no good and she should have more respect for herself? -- FRUSTRATED MOM IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR MOM: Carrie is almost an adult, and you are not going to teach her self-respect by blocking her telephone calls. All you have accomplished with this tactic is to make yourself the "enemy" and drive your daughter into the arms of the young man who victimized her in the first place.

I doubt the lines of communication will open very far if you continue trying to block them behind your daughter's back. Some lessons can be expensive, and Carrie may have to learn them for herself. I wish you both luck.

DEAR ABBY: My parents got divorced when I was 11 months old. My dad got married again, and he and his wife live in Pennsylvania and I live in New Hampshire.

I have called my stepmother "Auntie" since I was old enough to talk, and I am sick of it. I would like to call her by her first name like everybody else does. I asked my dad if it would be OK, and he said, "No. It is disrespectful for children to call adults by their first name." Abby, I don't want to call her "Auntie" anymore.

What should I do? Sign me ... CONFUSED 11-YEAR-OLD IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR CONFUSED: Your father is right. It is disrespectful for children to call adults by their first name unless the adult has asked the child to do so.

However, there might be a chance for you and your stepmother to become good pals. Tell her that you would like to call her by another name; perhaps the two of you can work on it together. I think she would be flattered to be taken into your confidence.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)