DEAR ABBY: I have been involved with a kind and generous man for four years. We have a child together who is now 16 months old. We are not married because he is still married to his first wife.
"Joe" and his wife have filed for divorce and all that remains to finalize it are their signatures. However, when I asked him about it, he gave me excuses such as it would ruin him financially, or they must remain together for the sake of their two children. He said that his youngest daughter is afraid that if he and her mother got divorced, she will never see him again. Both Joe and his wife want the divorce, but the decree just sits there unsigned. I don't understand his procrastination because I am sure he wants to be married to me and be a full-time father to our child.
Joe is a very good father to our baby and a wonderful lover, but I want him to be more than that -- I want him to be my husband.
Abby, do you think if I'm patient Joe will eventually finalize his divorce and marry me? -- WAITING PATIENTLY
DEAR WAITING: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but if Joe really wanted to marry you, he would not be offering weak excuses and leaving the divorce papers unsigned. It appears that he wants to have his cake and eat it, too.
It may not be easy for you to face reality, but the sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to liberate yourself from this hopeless situation and find someone who is free to marry you.