DEAR ABBY: My mother is a drug addict. Now, before you picture a swinging party animal, you need to know that she is 80 years old.

Mother is addicted to narcotics prescribed by a specialist in geriatric medicine. The drugs are not very effective in reducing her aches and pains (she says), so she takes more than the prescribed dosage. As this point, I'm not sure when she is truly in pain or just needs "a fix."

Her friends try to help by giving her some of their prescription drugs, so she's combining pills with no knowledge of the hazardous side effects and the danger of overdose. Her doctor is not aware of the amount of drugs my mother is taking.

Abby, I am hearing more and more about elderly people being overmedicated by their doctors, and I am appalled! Senior citizens must be monitored carefully. Some have heart problems, high or low blood pressure, or other serious ailments. They can also have failing memories and may become confused. Consequently, they may take their medications more often and in higher dosages than prescribed. Their equilibrium can be affected, causing falls that produce bruises, broken bones and gashes requiring more pain medication. My mother has already fallen several times.

I don't know what I can do to help her. She's too stubborn to listen to me or change her ways. Abby, it would be a kindness on your part to print this letter as a warning to those who are beginning to fall into this vicious trap.

There is too much pill-taking in this country, legal and illegal. We don't seem to be winning the war on illegal drugs, but perhaps we can do something about the overuse of legal ones, especially by our elders who depend on us to care for them in their "golden" years. -- CONCERNED DAUGHTER

DEAR CONCERNED DAUGHTER: Take it upon yourself to inform your mother's doctor that she has increased dosages on her own and that she's trading medication with others. Her welfare could depend on it.

Insist that she make an appointment with her doctor immediately. Brown-bag all her medications, including over-the-counter drugs, and accompany her to the appointment so both you and she can discuss with the doctor drug interactions and potential dangers from overmedication. Since organs become less efficient at ridding the body of toxins as one ages, a dosage that is appropriate at age 65 or 70 may be too strong at 80.

I was surprised to learn that while citizens over 65 constitute less than 13 percent of our population, they consume roughly one-third of prescription medications. It is estimated that, on average, a senior citizen will fill 15 new prescriptions a year. The potential for becoming addicted is frightening.

It is difficult to know how many seniors abuse medications because many see a number of doctors for a variety of problems, and sometimes fill prescriptions at several pharmacies. Addicted seniors are rarely questioned because we commonly think of "addicts" as younger people who buy their drugs on the street -- not elderly people filling prescriptions at pharmacies.

Geriatric specialists are beginning to explore drug addiction problems among seniors. However, it's important for family members to consider this possibility if their parents or older relatives begin to display symptoms of confusion, depression or changes in behavior, so that doctors and pharmacists can review medical records with an eye toward heading off potential addiction before it can become a destructive "habit."

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 14 years. Every time my husband and I attend a social function, he leaves me for sometimes hours while he flirts with other women. This flirting includes touching and hugging, and he doesn't seem to care whether I (or their husbands or boyfriends) see what's going on.

He also never introduces me to anyone -- even if I am standing right next to him. I wait for him to introduce me, and when he doesn't, I introduce myself.

Abby, I have told him several times how hurt I am, but he continues this behavior and never apologizes to me. I don't understand why he acts this way, knowing how hurt and embarrassed I am. Others have noticed this and mentioned it to me. I try to laugh it off, but it is affecting our marriage. How can I have romantic feelings for a man who treats me this way? He expects me to jump into bed with him after he has ignored me and flirted with every woman in the place.

Please let me know what you think. I am ... OUT OF IDEAS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR OUT OF IDEAS: You already know that you are married to an insensitive, selfish man who has little regard for your feelings. You do not indicate that you have children, so I assume that you have none -- which baffles me as to why you've tolerated this kind of behavior your entire married life.

I urge you to seek joint marriage counseling. And if he is unwilling to go -- go without him.

DEAR ABBY: I found this little poem about volunteering in The Bulletin of the Athens County (Ohio) Historical Society and Museum. I thought you may want to share it with your readers. I think it is wonderful. The author is unknown. -- BOB BIGLEY, CINCINNATI

DEAR MR. BIGLEY: I think it's wonderful, too -- and well worth sharing with my readers.

VOLUNTEERS

Many will be shocked to find,

When the day of judgment nears,

That there's a special place in Heaven

Set aside for volunteers.

Furnished with big recliners,

Satin couches and footstools,

Where there are no committee chairmen,

No yard sales or rest area coffee to serve,

No library duty or bulletin assembly,

There will be nothing to print and staple,

Not one thing to fold and mail,

Telephone lists will be outlawed.

But a finger snap will bring

Cool drinks and gourmet dinners

And rare treats fit for a king.

You ask, "Who'll serve these privileged few

And work for all they're worth?"

Why, all those who reaped the benefits,

And not once volunteered on Earth.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: You asked for acts of kindness. Well, here is mine:

In June of last year, my husband and I went to Germany and Austria on vacation. While we were in Austria, my husband stumbled and fell, breaking his hip, which required hospitalization and surgery. I remained by his side in the recovery room until I was asked to leave at 1 a.m. I have never felt so alone.

The next morning, the bad luck continued. In my haste to get back to the hospital, I accidentally locked our hotel room key and the car keys in the trunk of our rented car. When I finally located a locksmith, he charged $103 to unlock the trunk because it was on a Saturday.

My husband spent the next two weeks in the hospital in Salzburg, recovering enough to withstand the 14-hour flight back to our home.

When my husband was finally discharged, the hospital demanded payment in cash, as did the ambulance company. The airline also insisted on cash to pay for the upgrade in seats necessary to make my husband comfortable on our flight home. We had prepaid for our vacation and didn't have a great deal of cash with us, so I had to go from bank to bank to get cash advances from our credit cards. It was difficult because on one day the computer would process the transaction, but the next day for some reason, it wouldn't -- "trouble on the phone lines," we were told. The language barrier made things doubly difficult.

It was in Frankfurt, Germany, however, where the real trouble occurred. My husband, who was in a wheelchair, had to wait for me around the corner down a long hallway while I tried in vain to pay for the upgrade with our credit cards. I argued, pleaded and begged to see an airline representative or someone from the American Embassy, but the ticket agent wouldn't budge. I feared we were stranded.

As luck would have it, a gentleman standing in the next line turned and asked me what the trouble was.

I told him how we couldn't get home after all the difficulty we'd been through. He opened his wallet, then handed me 50 $100 bills! My mouth hung open in total shock. He took my name and address, gave me his business card, and went on his way.

Out of possibly 6 billion people on this planet, what were my chances of a Good Samaritan with that much cash standing next to me offering that kind of help? I believe the stranger was an angel in disguise.

I want to thank him publicly. His name is Charan Kumar. Your readers might like to know that there are still some very kind and generous people in this world. -- JUDY PRINCE, FRESNO, CALIF.

DEAR JUDY PRINCE: Your letter is a dandy day-brightener. Thanks for a valuable addition to this column!

DEAR ABBY: I have been thinking about writing to you for a long time to share a memory about my mother, who lived to be 93 years old.

She spent the last seven years of her life with my husband and me. Every morning we had breakfast together and read the newspaper. Our favorite column was "Dear Abby."

One morning I glanced up and saw a small curl of smoke rising from the section of the newspaper she was reading. I thought, "Abby must have a hot article in her column today!"

The source of the smoke soon became apparent. Mother's eyesight was poor, and she was using a magnifying glass to read. The sun was shining through the window and the angle was just right for the rays to pass through the magnifying glass onto the paper. She was so engrossed in your column that at first she didn't notice the heat was burning a hole in the newspaper!

Needless to say, I corrected the problem immediately. -- MAY FREISINGER, MISSION VIEJO, CALIF.

DEAR MAY: I've taken a lot of heat for some of the letters I've printed, but nothing like what you've described. Thanks for sharing the memory.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)