DEAR ABBY: Please advise all parents to take time RIGHT NOW to show their children how to place a collect call from a pay phone.

Our 9-year-old son attended his school basketball game and was to have been brought home by his coach. Well, the coach forgot him. So our son thought the best way to handle the situation was to start walking!

We were alarmed when he did not show up at the expected time and went looking for him, but somehow we missed him. Fortunately, he knew his way home and arrived safely, but not until 9:30 p.m. Had he known how to make a collect call, we could have been saved a lot of grief.

From now on, our children will always have money for a phone call, and they now know how to dial collect.

Also, if you have volunteered to be responsible for any child, be sure to uphold your end of the bargain and see that the child gets home safely. -- RELIEVED PARENTS, LA HABRA, CALIF.

DEAR RELIEVED PARENTS: Thank you for a valuable letter. When children are involved, it's a good idea to have an alternate "game plan" for every situation. No child should walk alone after dark. In most (but not all) cities, simply dialing "0" for operator from a pay phone will put the child in touch with assistance. Parents: Find out what's required to dial a collect local call and teach your children today.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter's husband had two children with his first wife, and then had a vasectomy. Now he and my daughter want to have a family of their own. He has tried three times to have the vasectomy reversed, without success. In vitro fertilization costs more than they can afford.

They are considering using sperm from her husband's brother to impregnate my daughter. The brother's wife has agreed. Have you ever heard of this arrangement? Has it worked successfully? -- WONDERING FAMILY

DEAR WONDERING FAMILY: I have heard of this arrangement and others similar to it. It is important for all concerned to remember that the commitments required from everyone are lifelong.

If your daughter and son-in-law have not already done so, they would be wise to consult a fertility expert about their alternatives. A counselor who is familiar with infertility and family dynamics could also be helpful, as well as an attorney with expertise in family law.

DEAR ABBY: I work at a public library, and a patron has a question about whether she should receive a thank-you note for a hostess gift she took to a young couple's house. The expensive box of candy was put out by the young couple, but most was saved for later.

The patron said she wrote a note the next day, thanking them for the evening. Should she expect a note of thanks for the candy? -- S.H. IN FLORIDA

DEAR S.H.: A hostess gift is usually a token of gratitude for the effort made to entertain the guest. I see no reason why the guest should expect a thank-you note for her thank-you.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I would like to add to your collection of random acts of kindness with the story of something that happened to me about 53 years ago:

In June of 1943, I graduated from high school and, along with most of my classmates, immediately joined the military service. After receiving basic training at Camp Grant, Ill., I was sent to Camp Stoneman, Calif., for deployment to the Pacific theater of operations.

We had little to do for the following seven weeks as we waited for a ship to transport us, so we took advantage of the liberal pass policy and spent our weekends in San Francisco, about 50 miles away. It was virtually impossible to find a hotel room in the city. Even the chairs, couches and every inch of floor were occupied by a human body in uniform. If all else failed, we'd buy a ticket to any movie, sit in the third balcony, and sleep until the management ejected us in the early morning.

One night my buddy, a high school classmate from back home, got the bright idea to try a hotel in Oakland across the bay. We found a very classy residential hotel where the lobby was absolutely empty except for the night clerk, and hesitantly asked if we might rest a while in the lobby. He granted us permission and we instantly drifted off to sleep.

About 7 a.m. I awoke and found myself gazing into the smiling face of a sweet motherly lady, who had apparently placed my head in her lap. Sitting up, I apologized, and noticed that she was accompanied by another lady of similar age. My buddy had been awake for some time, but they had not permitted him to disturb me.

We were given the key to their apartment and informed that we would find soap, towels, a razor, shaving cream and a comb in their bathroom, and that we should go "freshen up." When we returned to the lobby, they presented us with a bag of sandwiches and wished us Godspeed.

You can understand why I have never forgotten those two wonderful ladies. If only I had gotten their names and addresses. If only ... -- WILLIAM J. MYERS JR., CARLISLE, PA.

DEAR MR. MYERS: What a delightful story, and beautifully told. The degree of patriotism, generosity and commitment to the war effort during World War II remains unequaled. However, I am reminded of it every year at Christmastime during Operation Dear Abby. Last year's effort on the part of Americans of every age brought FIVE TONS of mail to our servicemen and women overseas.

DEAR ABBY: I am a man of 65 years -- almost 66.

In November 1994, I went into a local supermarket. There was an organ in the store for the holiday season and featured a drawing for music lessons. I observed an attractive lady filling out a slip for the drawing, and being a friendly person, I walked over to her and started a conversation. On learning that she was a widow (I was a widower), I said, "You probably have a boyfriend." She replied, "No, I don't." I asked for her name and telephone number and she gave them to me.

That night I called and invited her to dinner.

To make a long story short, I fell in love with her and we were married the next June. We're still in love and still on our honeymoon. I never tire of telling people how lovely she is and how much I love her. -- ROBERT ROSS, LARGO, FLA.

DEAR ROBERT: Lucky you -- and lucky Mrs. Ross. It's always inspiring to hear a love story, especially one that blossoms in the autumn of one's life. May you and your bride have many wonderful years together.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago I found a lump in my breast. After a diagnosis of cancer, I decided to have a radical mastectomy. My husband and I told no one except our closest relatives.

My sister-in-law got up in church and announced to the entire congregation that I'd had surgery. My mother told all my acquaintances and even an old boyfriend.

I am very upset about this. No one should discuss someone else's medical matters unless given permission (and had I been asked, I would have said emphatically, "No!").

I feel betrayed and hurt, and I find it hard to be civil to my sister-in-law and mother now. I'd really like to move away and never see any of them again. I think they used me to get attention for themselves.

Please tell your readers to consider the person who is ill before talking about private family matters, and to ask before announcing them publicly. -- HURTING IN KANSAS

DEAR HURTING: If you told your mother and sister-in-law that you wanted your surgery kept confidential and they betrayed your confidence, then what they did was wrong. You have my sympathy for your painful ordeal.

However, I hope that you will reconsider your stance on this and not let your anger stand between you and your family. You all need each other right now. Consider the idea that they were acting out of love, and were seeking prayers and support for you from the community, as well as trying to cope with their own fears.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We are both 22 years old and love each other very much and have been talking about marriage.

The problem is that Sam says that before we get married he would like to date other girls. He says he's had steady girls all through high school and never had a chance to "sow his wild oats."

I can see his point, but I'm worried that I might lose him forever. Am I crazy to agree to this? -- SCARED IN DENVER

DEAR SCARED: If you are seriously considering marriage to a young man who's asking for permission to sow his wild oats, I advise you to postpone the wedding until he is completely done. That way, you won't have to pray for a crop failure.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column daily and enjoy it very much. I have wanted to tell you about something my oldest son did that made me very proud.

When he was a junior in high school (a very small school in the Midwest), the mothers were asked to prepare the banquet dinner for the Junior-Senior Prom. While the students were dancing and enjoying the prom, several of us mothers stood near the door of the gym proudly watching our children.

To my surprise, my son came over and asked me to dance. He had a date, but he wanted to dance with me for one dance. I felt so honored and proud.

My son is now a prominent man in the business world and has a lovely family of his own.

I hope his loving gesture will inspire other young men to honor their mothers in similar ways. -- PROUD MOTHER

DEAR PROUD MOTHER: You have reason to be proud of your sensitive and appreciative son. He is a credit to your loving parenting. You raised him well.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)