DEAR READERS: A Happy Valentine's Day to one and all! There may be snowdrifts on the ground or rain clouds in the forecast, but regardless of what the weatherman says, there is sunshine and springtime in our hearts.

Years ago, in celebration of Valentine's Day, I decided to write my own Ten Commandments, the Ten Commandments of Love. Actually, at the time I was so enthusiastic that I wrote 20 -- one set for men and another for women. But then I received a letter from Mandy Stillman, a lawyer from Milwaukee, insisting that there be only one set of commandments.

She was right, of course. And here they are for your review:

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LOVE

-- Put your spouse before your mother, your father, your son and your daughter. Your mate is your lifelong companion.

-- Do not abuse your body with excessive food, tobacco, drink, or any foreign substance that goes into your arm or up your nose.

-- Remember that cleanliness is a virtue.

-- Willingly share all of your worldly goods with your mate.

-- Do not forget to say, "I love you." Even though your love may be constant, your spouse needs to hear those cherished words often.

-- Remember that the approval of your spouse is worth far more than the adoring glances of a hundred strangers, so be true and forsake all others.

-- Permit neither your business nor your hobby to make you a stranger to your children. The most precious gift a parent can give is time.

-- Keep your home in good repair, because out of it come the joys of old age (not to mention its resale value).

-- Forgive with grace, because who among us does not need to be forgiven?

-- Honor the Lord your God every day of your life, and your children will grow up and bless you.

Today, be a sweetheart. Call someone you love and say, "I love you." (Make two or three calls; who says you can't love more than one person -- in different ways, of course.)

Go through your closets and give all those clothes you've been saving until you lose 10 pounds to your favorite charity. Call someone who's lonely and say, "I'm thinking of you." Or, better yet, say, "I'll be over tomorrow to take you to lunch -- or to run some errands for you -- or to give you a ride."

Visit a sick friend. Say a prayer. Donate some blood. Adopt a pet. Will your eyes, your kidneys and all your usable organs to someone who can use them after you're gone. Forgive an enemy. Hug your teen-ager. Write a fan letter. Listen to a bore. Pay your doctor. Tell your parents you think they're wonderful. Spay your dog. Neuter your cat. Quit smoking. Drive carefully. If you're walking, watch where you're going.

And don't wait until next year to be a sweetheart again. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: The letter about church bulletin bloopers in a recent column reminded me of a funny thing that happened in our church some time ago. It made me glad that I had learned to speak our language by rote as a child. Just imagine the agony foreign-born adults must undergo in learning how to speak English, with all the inconsistencies in pronouncing words with similar spellings -- with "ough" in them, for example.

In this instance, a priest visiting from India was saying Mass, and typically the priest reads the Gospel aloud. This Gospel reading was about a woman who was preparing to bake bread when Jesus came to visit. Naturally, she suspended her preparations then, and the priest continued to read "... she put her 'duff' on the table."

I don't think the priest ever understood why that was greeted with such laughter. -- R.F. GOTTSACKER, EDINA, MINN.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: The letter you printed from the dental hygienist who was upset because her clients came in without first having brushed their teeth really frosted me. I used to schedule my dental appointments so I could stop on the way home from work, and I was usually the last appointment of the day. There was no way I could take time out from my job to brush my teeth. I had enough to worry about with rush-hour traffic allowing me to just get there on time.

What are working people supposed to do -- go home, bathe, brush their teeth, then go to the doctor or dentist? I'm sure that most people would like to be able to quit their lives in the fast lane, but if that's where the money and jobs are, what can they do?

Abby, while we're on the subject of cleanliness and health-care professionals, I'm sure we all remember our mothers telling us to always wear clean underwear with no holes in them in case we were in an accident and had to be taken to the hospital. When I had a massive stroke last February and the paramedics transported me to a trauma center, I wasn't wearing any underwear, let alone clean ones with no holes, and not one medical professional commented on that fact. They were too busy literally saving my life, for which I bless them daily. -- MAVIS E. WINTER, LAGUNA NIGUEL, CALIF.

DEAR MAVIS: Perhaps the dental hygienist was having a bad day, or was daunted by the amount of debris that had to be disposed of before she could get down to serious business with her patients. However, the woman's complaint was hardly frivolous.

Most people have three work breaks during the day, and it takes very little time to brush. In fact, it makes good sense whether a person has a dental appointment that day or not.

DEAR ABBY: You asked your readers to share acts of kindness. I experienced one recently that still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

My husband had open-heart surgery, lost his voice due to an overdose of anesthesia, and came home a quadriplegic.

Our home became badly neglected because he was unable to do all the "honey do's" he had taken care of prior to his surgery.

My friend Mary came to our home one day and started to help me with the dishes. She soon realized that our garbage disposal didn't work, the dishwasher was on the blink, our sliding glass door was off its track, the lock was broken and the screen had fallen off.

The next week, Mary returned with her husband, Ed, and three other couples. The women brought breakfast and lunch for everyone, and the men brought their tools and expertise. For eight hours they donated their hands and skills.

It was so nice to have everything repaired, and the yard never looked better. Like the song says, "There are angels among us, sent from someone up above."

We live in a world where we can perform acts of kindness every day -- if we just open our eyes and see the opportunity. -- DARLENE GODSEY, KANSAS CITY, MO.

DEAR DARLENE: The last line of your letter says it all. What an admirable principle by which to live.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a major problem and don't know how to get out of this situation. I seem to be another parent's answer to free day care.

This woman calls me frequently to pick up her son from school. At first she told me her son hated the day care he went to and she had promised him he wouldn't have to go -- adding that her meeting had run longer than she thought it would, and if I could pick him up that would be really great. I did it several times.

Now she says she has taken him out of day care all together, and he'll just have to go to a friend's after school; that it shouldn't be much of a problem because it will only be once a month. I know she wanted me to offer, but I didn't because her child is very difficult.

She has started calling me at 2:50, right before I'm about to leave to get my son from school, saying her meeting ran long and asking me to get him for her. If I refuse, saying I have things I have to do, she gives me the third degree and asks why I can't take him along.

My youngest is enrolled in a drop-in program so that when I have a doctor's appointment I don't have to take him with me. That way there's less stress on the doctor and me. Yet, I find myself taking another person's child with me, which is more stressful than taking my 21-month-old because he, at least, minds to some extent. This other child will do nothing I ask him to do.

Abby, her son says words my son is not allowed to say, and he throws my son's expensive toys when he doesn't get his own way. My older son has asked me to please stop bringing this child home with us, and I have tried -- but his mother will not take no for an answer. What should I do? -- HAD ENOUGH IN TEXAS

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: This woman will continue to take advantage of you until you develop the backbone to tell her bluntly that you are no longer willing to be used in the way she is using you. You owe her no explanations and no excuses. You are treating her as you would a friend. But friendship is a two-way street, and she is not a friend -- she is a user.

What's sad about this is that the person who is suffering because of her lack of time and parenting skills is a little boy who is turning into a social pariah. But that's not your problem.

DEAR ABBY: Please settle something between my mother and me. I always wash new clothes before I wear them. My wife also washes her clothes and our twins' before they are worn.

My mother says this is ridiculous and unnecessary. I say that one doesn't know what the garments have been exposed to, or who has handled them or tried them on. She says I am the only one in the world who thinks this way.

Is my way all that unusual? I have a small stack of new clothes that await your answer. -- DALE GAMMELL, OMAHA, NEB.

DEAR DALE: No. Your way is not all that unusual. However, most people who like the look and feel of new clothes are reluctant to wash them. But others like you, who worry about where and on whom clothes have been, or who want to avoid that "brand-new" look, prefer to launder them before wearing them. To each his own.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)