DEAR ABBY: I have a problem and need your advice. My husband wants me to lie to his parents, and I would feel uncomfortable in this lie. He says this "white" lie is necessary if we are to maintain a harmonious relationship with them. We don't see them often, so perpetuating the lie would not be too difficult, but I feel guilty about it just the same, and I wonder if the web of deceit we are weaving will entangle us one day.
We have been attending a church that is not the same faith as my in-laws. If they knew it, they would be very hurt -- especially since they want their grandchildren to grow up in their faith.
Both churches are Christian churches, and there are more similarities than differences. Because of these similarities, I think my in-laws would get over our attending this church if they knew; my husband disagrees.
I like this church, especially the programs for our children. My husband, however, feels a loyalty to the religion in which he was raised. Because of this ambiguity, he does not want to tell his parents because they might believe he has abandoned his faith, which would not be entirely true.
Abby, do you think it would be OK to tell a lie if it prevents hurt feelings and friction within the family? My husband thinks so. -- ANYTOWN, U.S.A.
DEAR ANYTOWN: You and your husband are adults and should not feel it is necessary to lie to his parents for any reason. "Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!" (Sir Walter Scott)