DEAR ABBY: Your series of columns on "Just Say No" amazed me. I was not aware that there was a shortage of ways to say it.
Any woman over 35 will be able to come up with at least a couple of hundred, since she uses at least one every day. My wife, who shut off intimacy 10 years ago, can furnish you with at least 1,000 suggestions.
Some of her favorites are: It's too late; it's too early; we'll wake the kids; the kids aren't asleep yet; I'm too tired; you're too tired; we just did; I've got a headache, a stomachache, a toothache, a backache ... whatever. I ate too much; I'm hungry; I drank too much; I didn't drink enough; it's too cold; it's too warm; I have to get up early; my legs are sore; my arms are sore; I just had my hair done; I should wash my hair; the bed's too hard; the bed's too soft; let's wait until next weekend; let's wait until next month; let's wait until next year.
I was told that a recent survey concerning sex showed that 90 percent of women over 35 in the USA have no interest in sex, while 96 percent of the men do, and that includes guys over 60.
So we can just forget all this nonsense about females not knowing how to say "No." It's pretty obvious that all of them are experts -- so much so that the majority of the male population over 40 is mired in chastity, thanks to a sexless majority of women. Sign me ... JUST SAY NO, MY FOOT
DEAR JUST: I am inclined to be suspicious when it comes to sex surveys. Those who do often say they don't. And those who don't sometimes say they do.