DEAR READERS: A short time ago, I printed a letter from a man and his wife who were in a heated discussion about whether a person should vote for him (or her) self. In my reply, I said: "I can't imagine anyone who is running for public office voting for the opposition. I'd be interested in hearing from those who have run for public office and how they cast their ballots."

The stack of responses was quite surprising! Read on:

DEAR MISS VAN BUREN: Speaking of candidates who do not vote for themselves, I am sending you this true story: In 1840, my great-great-great uncle, John Janney, was chairman of the Whig Party Convention in Virginia. This convention nominated William Henry Harrison for president. Uncle John and John Tyler were the nominees for the vice presidency. When the vote of the convention was a tie, Uncle John as chairman did the honorable thing and voted for John Tyler. Harrison won the election and died soon after, and John Tyler became president. Our family says that Uncle John lost the presidency by one vote -- his own!

Since Uncle John's sister Anna Janney Miller had 11 children and 53 grandchildren, there are many of us great-great-great nieces and nephews in the United States. I wonder how many of them will write you this story. -- HELEN JANNEY STABLER GRINSTEAD

DEAR MRS. GRINSTEAD: You are the only one I've heard from.

DEAR ABBY: I was a naive seventh-grader when I learned the bald facts. There were 12 girls competing for drum majorette in the baton corps, and we were to vote for which one of us would be majorette. The girl I voted for got two votes, each of the other 10 got one vote apiece, and I got none! -- MONTE PRUDE, MIDLAND, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: I ran for president of my student council. As it turned out, I ended up losing to my opponent by one vote. Sign me ... LOST BECAUSE OF MY OWN MANNERS

DEAR ABBY: More than 40 years ago, as a young wife in a new community where wives and mothers created a monthly coffee group to get acquainted and share ideas, my name was nominated for an office. I will never forget that I lost by one vote. I had not voted for myself out of humility and old-fashioned manners. When I told my husband what I had done, he could not believe I lacked the faith in myself that he believed was indicated by my vote.

I'd rather you did not use my name. Instead, call me ... DEE IN SEAL BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I, too, was taught to be humble and have old-fashioned manners, and that to vote for oneself was a real no-no.

Thus said, in high school, I lost an election by one vote: my own.

Ergo, one can still be humble and polite, but if you believe in a cause enough to put yourself on the line to run for it, you'd better believe in it enough to vote for it. If you don't vote for yourself, you lose. -- MAIZIE HARRIS JESSE, CARSON CITY, NEV.

DEAR READERS: Tomorrow, some interesting comments from candidates who did vote for themselves.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have something to say to the millions of families whose lives are affected by divorce.

An unforgiving and bitter person who has not let go of animosities can poison an entire family and ruin the holidays for everyone. I know. I was that person.

I couldn't forgive my husband and his new wife, and my children suffered for it. One day after a particularly harsh outburst, I understood the pained reaction on my children's faces. I prayed for the strength to change my ways so I could stop hurting those I love most in the world.

It has been a long struggle with occasional setbacks, but the rewards have carried me forward. I have not remarried and I am not completely healed, but I have peace in my heart and my children are happy. They are free to enjoy both homes and the holidays with each family. It is a priceless gift to give your children, and yourself. -- FREE IN VERMONT

DEAR FREE: I can't think of a more meaningful gift suggestion for this holiday season. Happy holidays to you and your now happier family.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to "Longtime Reader, Bloomington, Minn." who was upset that "Mrs. Jones" asked her nanny if she wanted another part-time job. Your reader had no right to get upset about the nanny being offered another job. As long as it doesn't affect her 35-hour work week, anything the nanny does during her free time is her business -- not her employer's.

Mrs. Jones should not need anyone's permission to talk to the nanny. So what if "Longtime Reader" paid $1,200 to get her nanny? I am a nanny and my family paid $2,350 to get me, and they do not tell me who I can and cannot sit for. Paying a fee does not guarantee ownership of the nanny. The nanny may seem like a member of their extended family, but she really isn't. She is an employee and is entitled to her own life and her own decisions about her time off. -- LYNETTE A. BUDD, ROWLEY, MASS.

DEAR LYNETTE: I agree that the days of indentured servitude are over. And if the nanny's arrangement with her employer is for 35 hours a week, what she does in her spare time is her own business.

However, as a courtesy, Mrs. Jones should have spoken to "Longtime Reader" before extending an offer to her domestic employee. It is a question of good manners.

DEAR ABBY: Add this to your stories about short men: My best friend had a rather rocky marriage with many arguments. After one such episode she came over for coffee and a shoulder to cry on. During our conversation she said, "Your husband is more of a man at 5 foot 6 than mine is at 6 foot 5."

She was right. They later divorced, and she raised their four children on her own. -- ANONYMOUS, PLEASE

YOUR CHUCKLE FOR THE DAY: "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." -- PHYLLIS DILLER

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last year I missed your column on Christmas gifts for seniors. I remember in the past you printed some great suggestions, and since there are several seniors on my list this Christmas, how about helping us again? -- JESSICA IN ANAHEIM, CALIF.

DEAR JESSICA: Certainly! I combed my past columns and found a wealth of ideas that come from the heart, not the wallet. Remember, most seniors have more than their share of dusting powder and aftershave, and have run out of room for bud vases and bird feeders. Consider these more practical alternatives:

-- Postcards or lined stationery and envelopes with a generous supply of postage stamps.

-- A gift certificate for their favorite grocery store, deli or pharmacy.

-- An assortment of greeting cards for birthdays and anniversaries, as well as get-well and condolence cards.

-- A "paid in advance" certificate for 10 lawn mowings or snow shovelings by a neighborhood youngster.

-- A "certificate" for a service you can perform that is difficult for them -- a thorough house cleaning, a month's laundry, a handyman visit for home safety inspection and minor repairs.

-- An offer to rewrite their address book in larger, more legible print.

-- A month of Sunday drives to church, or to the country, the museum or the park.

-- If the person on your list is on a limited income, a check in any amount will be appreciated.

-- A subscription to their favorite magazine or the daily newspaper.

-- A basket of goodies assembled especially for them -- cans of ham, tuna, chicken, hearty soups, chili and stew; instant coffee and tea bags; crackers; instant soup mixes.

-- A selection of their treasured, tattered photos retouched and placed into a new album, with captions.

-- A drive to see the Christmas lights and decorations, as well as store windows.

If a senior says, "Please don't give me anything," that usually means, "I have more things than I need." However, a gift of your time may be appreciated and will be remembered long after the holiday has passed and the material gifts are stored away.

DEAR ABBY: The recent list you published of armed services addresses for your annual "Operation Dear Abby" brought back a flood of memories.

Five years ago, a parent volunteer in my second-grade class brought me a clipping from your column and suggested that this would be an excellent writing project for my students. We wrote to two of the addressed and received two responses. Both were from U.S. Marines in Japan. They became splendid pen pals, but one went above and beyond the call of duty.

This pen pal, Dennis DeNoi, always sent each child an individual response, even if it was just a few lines. (Remember, he was writing to a class of 30 children whose writing was not always legible!) Needless to say, this wonderful Marine caught the attention of the teacher, and we began an 18-month correspondence that eventually resulted in a very happy marriage.

My husband will retire soon from his beloved Marine Corps after 22 years of service to his country, to begin a new career in law enforcement. As the fifth anniversary of our first letter approaches, I want to say, "Thank you and God bless you!" You and this wonderful man have given me so much. I am forever grateful.

I encourage all of your readers to support Operation Dear Abby and our servicemen and women. You may use my name. -- CHERYL TUCKER DE NOI, LOS ANGELES

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)