DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "No More Noxious Ads." I, too, didn't dare to bring some magazines into the house because the perfume was so strong. Then I found out my favorite subscriptions could be sent to me scent-free. I just called 1-800-374-4545 for Ladies Home Journal and 1-800-888-7788 for Good Housekeeping and asked to be put on the "scent-free" list. Other magazines probably offer the same service and most have 800-numbers. -- PAT KELCH, JOELTON, TENN.

DEAR PAT: You're right. Many readers wrote to say that having one's name added to the "scent-free" list is as easy as calling the publisher and requesting it. The toll-free number is usually included along with the publisher's address inside the magazine. Look for the masthead, the section that lists the publisher, editors and other key personnel.

DEAR ABBY: Several nights ago, I was awakened by our 7-month-old Caroline. She has had trouble sleeping lately because of teething pain. Tired and frustrated, I finally laid her in bed between my husband and me, and we all fell back to sleep.

Our mattress had become separated from the headboard, leaving a big gap, large enough for our baby's head to slip through. When we awakened, she was lying on her back with her head hanging backward, pinned between the headboard and mattress. Her muffled cries for help had been barely audible, but miraculously we were able to wake up and save her.

Caroline is our third baby, and we thought we knew all there is to know about safety with children. I would strongly advise parents never to let their infant sleep with them. -- SHAKEN IN SIMPSONVILLE, S.C.

DEAR SHAKEN: Thank you for writing to warn all parents of a freak accident that could result in the loss of their precious infant.

DEAR ABBY: May I share the following with "R.H.G. in Elk Grove, Wis."? She's the lady whose mother refused to wear a hearing aid because she thought it would make her look old.

At age 50 I had a pacemaker installed. One morning after the surgery, I told a co-worker that I was feeling old. She just smiled and said she wanted to introduce me to someone.

The next day she brought in her adorable 4-year-old nephew and said, "Cody, show her your pacemaker." The boy promptly lifted his T-shirt and there was the telltale bulge of a pacemaker in his little abdomen. Then she added, "When he reaches adolescence he will get one over his heart where yours is."

Abby, after seeing that child with a pacemaker, I suddenly didn't feel old any more.

"R.H.G." needs to introduce her mother to some young person who wears a hearing aid. -- MARY ANN SUTTER, DE SOTO, TEXAS

CONFIDENTIAL TO "BURNED UP" IN MILWAUKEE: Please reconsider. Do not call your sister-in-law on the telephone and tell her off. Instead, sit down and write her a letter telling her exactly what you think of her -- which isn't very flattering.

It's a lot easier to tear up something you wrote than to take back what you said.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my mother-in-law and father-in-law sold their home and moved next door to us. My husband gave her a set of keys to our house in case she has to get in for an emergency.

Since she received the keys, my mother-in-law walks right in without being invited. She even comes into our bedroom or bathroom to find me. I have no privacy anymore. I can't even take a shower without her walking in on me.

I have talked to my husband about this, and he makes excuses for her.

We can't plan to do anything without having to change or cancel our plans because of them.

I have told them both I would like some privacy, but it does no good. My mother-in-law calls at least six to 10 times a day just to see what I'm doing.

Abby, I need some advice on how to deal with this. I just want my life back with a little privacy. -- FED UP IN WEATHERFORD, TEXAS

DEAR FED UP: Install deadbolt locks on your front and back doors, and get an answering machine or the phone company message center to handle your calls. It may not resolve your problem completely, but it's a good beginning.

DEAR ABBY: I couldn't pass up the chance to respond to "Unappreciated in Long Beach," the lady whose husband never remarked on her delicious meals. Cooking is apparently in my genes, and for 25 years I prepared three meals a day for my husband. His packed lunches were the envy of his co-workers, and a dinner was never finished without his raving about the meal. It was an everyday occurrence.

All that good food apparently ruined his brain, because he decided to up and leave. He left me the house, the car, the bills and no money. He planned to leave on Thursday. He asked if I would consider fixing his dinner, letting him sleep at home and then send him off with a good breakfast, all for $100. I told him to stuff his money and made him leave on Wednesday. The clincher came when he said, "Well, dear, one thing I can say about you is that you're a damn good cook."

Say what? How about sticking by him after a job injury that he turned into a two-year "vacation"? What about staying with him through his job terminations, the bankruptcy, his drinking, and the 14 years of child care I did to help pay the bills that he couldn't? And all he can say is that I was a good cook? Had I been smart, I would have fixed him a last supper that would have had him pulling over at every rest stop between here and wherever he decided to go -- and kept his $100, too.

Tell "Unappreciated" to keep on cooking, and if he eats it, be satisfied. Being told you're a great cook doesn't amount to a hill of beans if your other qualities go unrecognized. These days I cook for my son when and if I want to. I no longer prepare meals the way my husband liked them. I don't have meat at every sitting, I use less salt, haven't had an egg in weeks and can't remember what a package of bacon looks like.

My financial picture is becoming brighter now that I'm not paying for his keep. I will soon look better and be healthier. He, in the meantime, will be in an early grave because of his 3-pack-a-day habit and his alcoholism. Am I happy? You can call me ... ECSTATIC IN GRESHAM, ORE.

DEAR ECSTATIC IN GRESHAM, ORE: Your letter gave me food for thought.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Eleven years ago, you ran a piece in your column about the difference between love and infatuation. I was a senior in high school then, going through a mix of emotions for my boyfriend. I married him three years later; however, we are now divorcing.

I want to re-examine my feelings for "Mike" to determine whether my feelings for him were infatuation or love, but I have misplaced your column. Would you print it again? I don't want to make the same mistake again should I meet someone else. -- A. IN TACOMA

DEAR A.: I have printed that piece several times (and it is in my booklet for teens), but because it is important to know the difference, I'm happy to share it again:

IS IT LOVE OR ISN'T IT?

It takes a level head to control a foolish heart.

Can you love someone at first sight? This crazy mixed-up version is better known as infatuation at first sight. Infatuation can possibly be the first step toward love, but in itself, it is not love.

Love itself is built on inner realities. Through experience and a few more infatuations, one acquires a second and better sight. So mature love should be called "love at second sight."

Mature love means liking a person as well as loving. If the most important part of your relationship is physical (making out) and you don't seem to have much to talk about, face it, it's just a physical attraction, and you're really not a very good combination if you're thinking about a lifetime relationship.

How do you know if you're in love? To ask if it IS love indicates doubt. Love is sure.

Don't confuse enduring and lasting love with puppy love. (That's the kind that usually gets you into an emotional doghouse.)

Love is giving, not taking. It wants the best for the one you love.

Love is on the go. It makes you want to charge out into the world and do as well as think big. It doesn't keep you inert, day-dreaming and cooped up with only one person.

Love wants to share. To the one you love, you give your thoughts and your dreams. A new happiness comes with sharing them. Mature love is honest and open.

Love doesn't know what time it is. During your teens, you will have had a litter of puppy loves. But as time goes by, and you learn more about the object of your affections ... and your love seems to grow not weaker but stronger ... maybe the real moment has come.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been friends with another couple for the past five years. During social occasions with these people, they will speak to each other in Spanish. My husband and I do not speak Spanish, and they know this. By the way, they both speak fluent English as their first language.

I am now to the point where I would prefer not to be around them.

What do you think? Should we say anything to them about this? And if so, what? -- ANNOYED IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR ANNOYED: If you value their friendship, by all means tell them how you feel when they speak Spanish to each other in your presence.

If they continue speaking Spanish in your presence, you will know that they do not value your friendship.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)