DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are having a big fight with her dentist. My wife is getting a full set of dentures. All her life she was ashamed of her teeth because they were yellowish, and now she wants snow-white teeth, but her dentist won't give them to her. He says snow-white teeth look unnatural. Abby, she doesn't care; she says movie stars have snow-white teeth and they look beautiful, and she wants beautiful white teeth too.

Meanwhile, her dentist keeps telling her that his job is to give her teeth that will look natural, and if she suddenly comes out with snow-white teeth, people will know the teeth are dentures, and they'll think her dentist did a poor job. We are deadlocked. Should a dentist give a patient what she wants or what he thinks she ought to have?

We live in Maine, but if we have to go to California to get what we want, we will go there. And I wouldn't begrudge the cost, either. Help us. -- UNHAPPY SENIOR CITIZENS

DEAR UNHAPPY: The dentist discharged his professional obligation when he told your wife that the kind of teeth she wants will look unnatural. Having said this, and being overruled, he should give her what she wants. If he refuses, there are plenty of other dentists in Maine.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is the head of a large corporation. He does not drink hard liquor, but very few people know this because at parties he takes one drink and pretends to sip it all evening.

He watches his junior executives' drinking habits very carefully, and they are promoted accordingly. Anyone who takes more than two drinks is passed over for promotion -- no matter how good a job he does.

I feel that my husband should have a talk with the man and give him a chance to cut down. He says, "No, once a drunk, always a drunk." He says it takes guts not to drink in today's society, and he needs men with guts to run the business right. What is your opinion? -- SCARSDALE

DEAR SCARSDALE: If everyone who takes more than two drinks is (as your husband states) a "drunk," there are a lot of "drunks" effectively running a lot of businesses.

I agree, it takes guts not to drink in today's society, but one who takes a drink publicly and "pretends" to drink it so no one will know he's a non-drinker is lacking guts himself. If guts is the issue, the person who says, "No thanks, I'm an alcoholic" has far more guts than your holier-than-thou abstainer.

DEAR ABBY: I am an attractive 66-year-old widow. I've dated a number of eligible men and have had many proposals, but there is one I would really like to marry.

He is 72, but looks much younger because he keeps in shape and has a young and healthy outlook on life. He says he "loves" me, but he will not propose marriage because he had surgery 10 years ago that terminated his sex life.

I told him it didn't matter to me because I never placed very much importance on sex anyway, which is the truth.

He insists that I was only being "kind," and eventually I would feel cheated. I swore to him on a stack of Bibles that I meant what I said. How can I convince this wonderful man that I want to marry him -- regardless? -- AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR AUSTIN: Get a higher stack of Bibles.

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: My 5-year-old daughter, Penny, is in a gifted children's class in public school. She has a classmate, Randy, who is a handsome, kind little fellow, but Penny says that no one likes him because he is dirty. She says he wears the same dirty jeans and T-shirt, his tennis shoes are holey, the laces untied, he never wears socks or underwear and he could really use a bath.

I told her that we like or dislike people because of the way they behave, not the way they dress, the color of their skin, the way they wear their hair, or what church they go or don't go to.

Penny likes Randy and has become his friend. (She's the only friend he has.)

I've considered writing Randy's mother a note telling her in a nice way that her son is being discriminated against because of his neglected appearance. I've also considered buying the boy some new clothes and underwear. Or should I just mind my own business? Maybe you have a suggestion on how to help Randy. -- OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS

DEAR OPEN: Because you know nothing about Randy's home life (he may not even have a mother), express your concern to Randy's teacher. A child who comes to school dirty, ill-clad and so obviously neglected needs help. School authorities are in close touch with agencies that provide assistance to abused and neglected youngsters. A child in need is everybody's business. Thank you for caring.

DEAR ABBY: Our 21-year-old grandson, who has always been the apple of our eye, has just announced that he is the "proud" father of a baby boy born to his 20-year-old girlfriend. They are living together, he has a good job, but no mention has been made of any forthcoming marriage. They just say they are "engaged."

My wife and I have decided that until they get married we are not giving them a wedding present. We gave our granddaughter a generous cash wedding gift after her wedding, and we are prepared to do the same for this grandson, but not until -- regardless of how many illegitimate children he has!

Also, do you think a baby gift is in order for an illegitimate child? -- UNCERTAIN IN MINNESOTA

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Wedding gifts are for couples who are wedded -- not merely bedded. But do send a gift for the baby. And please don't label him "illegitimate." There are no illegitimate children -- only illegitimate parents.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I just returned from our first vacation without our kids. We've been married for 13 years, have four kids, and it was a real treat.

My wife's parents saw us off at the airport, and just as we were taking off, my mother-in-law asked, "Did you make a will in case something happens to both of you at the same time?" Then she laughed as though it was some kind of joke.

Of course we hadn't made a will. I realize there's always a one-in-a-million chance that our plane would crash and we'd both be killed, but her question stayed on my mind during our whole vacation, and I have to tell you, it sort of spoiled it for me.

Wasn't that a lousy thing for her to say? -- STILL UPSET

DEAR UPSET: Her timing was lousy. But the idea was a good one.

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: Here's a silly question that has become not so silly recently: About 16 years ago, my wife and I had a large wedding. Recently, apparently for the first time, my mother viewed our wedding album. She took an intense dislike to her appearance in a picture of my father and her dancing. This is the only picture of my parents in the album, Abby, but my mother has requested that we remove it and give it to her to destroy. She says she would hate to have her descendants see that likeness of her, and she reminded us that she never gave her permission to use this picture in the first place.

Both my wife and I think it is an excellent picture of my parents, and had we thought otherwise we would not have included it in our album. Since in our view the sole objection to this picture is an irrational one, which exists only in my mother's mind, and to destroy it would mean there would be no picture of my parents in our wedding album, we have refused her request.

Are we wrong? Or does my mother have a right to this picture? Ironically, I am a guidance counselor. -- FAMILY PROBLEM

DEAR FAMILY: It is your wedding album and it will undoubtedly outlast your annoyed mother. If she continues to fuss, remove the picture from the album, have it copied, give the original to her, and later place the copy in your album.

DEAR ABBY: In the last five years or so, most couples whom I have married have asked that I omit that portion of the service that asks if anyone present objects to the marriage that is about to take place. However, before each ceremony, I ask the bride and groom separately if they are sure they want to go through with the wedding. A number of times one or the other has said "No," the ceremony has been canceled with the church filled and the reception waiting. -- THE REV. W. LEE TRUMAN, FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH, WHITTIER, CALIF.

DEAR MR. TRUMAN: With the church filled and reception waiting! Although it beats going through with the marriage, one can imagine the humiliation, heartache and headaches of all parties concerned -- not to mention the outrageous expense.

Your experience makes a strong case for insisting that all couples have premarital counseling, which nearly all churches, synagogues and temples now offer.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is 36, attractive and well-liked. He owns his own business, which requires some traveling and night entertaining, but he's always come home at a reasonable hour, ready, willing and able to make love to me, so I had no reason to worry.

One day last week before sending his suit to the dry cleaners, I checked the pockets and found a paper cocktail napkin on which was scribbled "Margo" and a telephone number. Then I did something I'm not very proud of. I wrote down the number and kept it.

When my husband came home, I casually handed him the cocktail napkin, saying, "This was in your pocket; it might be important."

He took it very matter-of-factly and said, "She's a woman with a wholesale jewelry connection. I was going to surprise you with something for your anniversary next month."

Later that evening when I was alone, I called the number and Margo answered. I told her I was interested in buying some jewelry, and she said I must have the wrong Margo because she was an airline stewardess!

So far I haven't told my husband about that call, but it's been bothering me. Should I tell him, or let it go? -- NEEDS ADVICE

DEAR NEEDS: Tell him. But wait until after your anniversary. One "surprise" deserves another.

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)