DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.
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DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.
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DEAR ABBY: I have been married for six years to a wonderful man. Although I have hinted broadly on many occasions that I would dearly love some acknowledgment of my cooking, I have yet to receive one word of appreciation for anything I have prepared since our marriage.
I know he enjoys good food because he has mentioned from time to time that his first wife was a great cook. I have baked cakes and pies from scratch, made gourmet dishes, casseroles, stews, pot roasts and turkey dinners with all the trimmings, with nary one "That was good, dear."
I am considering serving him dog food, scooped out of the can and garnished with a few steamed onions and a sprig of parsley, just to see if I get a reaction.
I know a man could have far worse faults than being totally indifferent to a wife who knocks herself out nightly in the kitchen, but one gets tired of buying groceries, planning menus and preparing fine meals for someone who never utters a word of appreciation. Sign me ... UNAPPRECIATED IN LONG BEACH
DEAR UNAPPRECIATED: A friend of mine had the same problem. In desperation, she wrote the following message and presented it to her husband with his coffee after dinner:
"The chef respectfully requests that you comment on the dinner you have just consumed. Would you rate it: Excellent? Good? Fair? Poor?
"Failure to comply with this request could cause the dining room to discontinue its service."
Needless to say, she received a generous outpouring of compliments -- and still does. Try it.
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DEAR ABBY: My husband's former wife, Velma, with whom we have remained on fairly good terms, invited us to her home for a party. She is now married to a very well-to-do man.
Velma told me it was going to be a costume party, so my husband and I dressed up like a couple of rabbits.
Imagine our surprise when the butler opened the door and ushered us into a room filled with men in tuxedos and women in stunning gowns! We felt like a couple of fools. Velma laughed and said she thought it was funny. I was very upset to have been made the butt of her joke, so I got myself a glass of punch and spilled it on her gown. Then I laughed and told her I thought it was funny. However, she didn't see anything funny about it.
My husband isn't speaking to me, and he thinks I owe Velma an apology. What should I do? -- A WIFE IN NEED
DEAR WIFE: Send Velma a bunch of carrots, and tell her you're sorry.
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DEAR ABBY: I'm a 21-year-old single female in love with a 26-year-old male (I'll call Freddy) whom I hope to marry one day. Freddy and I have been dating for a year and have talked about marriage, but there is nothing definite yet.
The problem is Freddy's roommate, Ralph. Ralph's girlfriend, Debbie, moved in with him and Freddy. I'm not exactly jealous, but I hate the idea of the three of them living together in that little apartment. It's only big enough for two, and it must be very crowded and uncomfortable. Freddy says Debbie is only staying there until she and Ralph get married, but no date has been set yet and they don't seem in any hurry.
Abby, if Ralph and Debbie want to live together, don't you think they should get their own place? All my friends think it's the pits, and they keep asking me how I can let it go on. I'm really upset and don't know what to do. Is there some way I can get Debbie out of there? Or should Freddy move out? Please advise. -- IN THE MIDDLE IN MIDLAND
DEAR IN: As I see it, you are not in the middle. You are more appropriately on the outside -- Freddy is in the middle. If he's crowded and uncomfortable, he should move out. The decision is his, not yours.
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DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.
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To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.
DEAR ABBY: Brian (not his real name) and I met when we were 15 and 14. We were "sweet" on each other throughout the summer, but went our separate ways later in the fall. We kept in touch for a while, but eventually we lost all contact. That was 12 years ago. I am 26 now, graduated from college, married and "Mama" to two young sons.
In our community newspaper, I read that Brian and his wife have moved into our neighborhood. Considering that we live in a large city, New Orleans, I was quite astonished that someone I knew years ago would end up in our neighborhood.
My first impulse was to get in touch with Brian and rejoice at renewing an old friendship; then I wondered if it would be too forward and possibly be looked upon as improper by his wife. I'd like to be hospitable, but don't want my actions to be misinterpreted. What would you do? -- DIANA
DEAR DIANA: Since you now live in the same neighborhood, give it a little more time -- you may run into each other. If you don't, I see no harm in writing a note to him and his wife welcoming them to the neighborhood and inviting them to call you and your husband.
After all, you were only "sweet" on each other for one summer when you were a couple of kids.
DEAR ABBY: While our 39-year-old daughter is no raving beauty, she is better looking than most of the girls whose pictures you see in bridal veils in the Sunday papers. She is very intelligent and has lots of dates, and I know she has turned down several good marriage proposals.
When I ask her what she is waiting for, she says, "Don't rush me, Mom."
Is there any way I can get her to hurry up and think seriously of marrying and settling down? I am 55 years old and would like to see a few grandchildren before I leave this earth. -- IMPATIENT IN ILLINOIS
DEAR IMPATIENT: Many moms who have rushed their daughters into marriage see more of their grandchildren than they expected to -- they're raising them because the marriage didn't work out. If you're eager to see things hatch, raise chickens.
DEAR ABBY: I am a responsible 22-year-old woman living with my parents. I am going away for a month's vacation, and my problem is my parents and my guinea pigs. My parents have told me that the minute I am out the door they are getting rid of my guinea pigs.
I've told them that they won't have to do one thing because I've already made arrangements with a girlfriend to come by every day to feed them and clean their cages.
Abby, they still insist that the guinea pigs are going as soon as I leave. I have explained that the guinea pigs are my pets and not their property to do with as they please. Also, I said that I think I am old enough to take care of my affairs, but it is obvious that they have no respect for me or my wishes.
If they get rid of my guinea pigs while I'm gone, I will never forgive them. Tell me what you think should be done, and who is right. -- NO RESPECT
DEAR NO RESPECT: "Miss Piggy's Guide to Life" might be helpful here. I think you're right, but it's your parents' home and their wishes will prevail. If you want to be absolutely certain that you don't lose your pets, ask your girlfriend if she will look after them at her place. If that's not possible, find some other temporary home for your guinea pigs.
DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them!
DEAR ABBY: You seem willing to let readers air their gripes, so here I am with mine: It's women who get free taxi service because they don't drive. "Mrs. I-Don't-Drive" has been bumming rides for years. All her friends are conditioned to pick her up and take her home, and they don't think a thing of it.
When you ask how come they don't drive, they'll tell you they don't have the patience, or the coordination, or the nerve to drive a car. Or else they say they panic in traffic, or that freeways freak them out.
It's my theory that these women never bothered to learn because it was easier to bum rides. And cheaper, too.
Abby, there are driving schools galore for anyone who wants to learn. And there's no age limit, either. My neighbor learned how to drive at 62! I've had it with these lazy freeloaders. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I feel better now. -- EDITH
DEAR EDITH: Glad you feel better, but for my part, anyone who panics in traffic, is freaked out by freeways and lacks the patience, courage or coordination to drive would do the rest of society a favor by not driving.
DEAR ABBY: After 10 years of marriage, my husband decided he wanted out. No reason. He just wanted out. We are both 32. I still love him very much and didn't want him to leave, but I had no choice, so I accepted his decision with a heavy heart.
We have been apart for nearly a year, and now that I am beginning to adjust to the separation, he decides that he "misses being married." He says he wants to come back for six weeks, then he will decide whether he wants to stay with me forever or stay away forever.
What do you think? -- WONDERING
DEAR WONDERING: Why should he dictate the terms of a possible reconciliation? Don't take him back unless you find out what went wrong with your marriage in the first place. Before allowing him to come back, see a family counselor, and insist that he get counseling, too. It's available through your Family Service Association. (It's in the phone book.) The organization offers excellent, confidential help, and fees are based on the ability to pay.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I decided to write to you about a disagreement we're having. My sister is going to the Cleveland Clinic next week for surgery. Her home is in Canada, but the clinic is only 65 miles from our home. I want to be near my sister, so I plan to stay at a motel near the clinic. My sister's husband plans to stay at the same motel, so to cut expenses we thought we'd share a room with twin beds.
I have known this brother-in-law for 13 years and we are very good friends. There is absolutely no physical attraction between us, never was, and never will be.
My husband is having a king-sized fit! He says he trusts me, and he trusts my brother-in-law, but he doesn't want us sharing a room. My sister doesn't see anything wrong with it.
What do you think? Hurry your answer. -- PLAIN DEALER READER
DEAR READER: I don't see anything wrong with it either, but unless your husband is comfortable with that arrangement, don't double up with your brother-in-law. It could be a very expensive way to save money.
Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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