DEAR ABBY: I have three grown children between the ages of 30 and 40. This past Mother's Day, I received no card or gift from any of them. Oh, one child finally left a message on my answering machine late in the evening after I had given up hope and gone to bed. (I found it the next morning.)

My heartache increased with every hour of Mother's Day, and in the days that followed when I looked in vain in my mailbox for a belated card and waited for my phone to ring with a call of apology.

I admit I haven't been a perfect mother, but I think I am worthy of being acknowledged on Mother's Day. From the time they were born, I have given my children -- and their children -- my love and support and have always remembered them on their special days.

Although my heartache has diminished, I cringe at the thought of facing another Mother's Day, and yet I don't want to chastise them for ignoring me because I would never know if future remembrances were done only out of a sense of duty.

Abby, do you have any words of wisdom to comfort me? -- IGNORED MOTHER

DEAR IGNORED MOTHER: Sorry, I have no words of wisdom to comfort you, but I do have a question: How do your children treat you the other 364 days of the year?

DEAR ABBY: About May or June of each year, people begin to receive graduation invitations from nieces, nephews, grandnephews and grandnieces they have rarely seen and with whom they have had no communication whatsoever.

Well, what I do may not be right, but I write the graduates a letter to let them know that I am pleased with their status, and state that I wish I had the opportunity to know them better and hope they will make an effort to stay in touch with me in the future.

I send no gift, no check -- nothing but my congratulations. Abby, what do you and your readers have to say about how I handle the situation? -- IGNORED IN FLORIDA

DEAR IGNORED: I think you handle the situation admirably in view of the circumstances.

DEAR ABBY: Many people write to you complaining about receiving catalogs in the mail. They call it "junk mail."

I disagree. I'm an older woman and don't drive. If I want to shop locally, one of my children has to drive me, then wait until I get my shopping done. I hate to inconvenience them, so I shop through catalogs for birthday and Christmas gifts, clothing, shoes, even fishing gear. That way, I can shop at my leisure, compare prices and find items that are otherwise impossible to find. I love catalogs. You may use my name. -- ELIZABETH MC GREW IN RENO, NEV.

DEAR ELIZABETH MC GREW: You are not alone. Many readers have written to say that catalogs are the answer to their prayers. Small wonder that catalogs are now a multibillion-dollar business.

DEAR ABBY: My wife's aunt and uncle were married for 46 years; then they divorced. Neither remarried during the next four years. They then decided that their divorce was a mistake, so they remarried and have been married for the past four years.

They now want to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Can they? Should they?

Some relatives think it's a great idea, but a few others think that because their 50 years of marriage have not been continuous, they do not qualify for this honor.

Abby, what do you and your readers think? -- NO CITY OR STATE, PLEASE

DEAR NO CITY: I think they should go ahead and celebrate their 50th.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I wrote you some time ago, asking for your help because a girl I had been dating was pressuring me to introduce her to my father as my girlfriend. Actually, it was a little more complicated than that. I am bisexual, and she wasn't the only person I had been seeing. I had been wanting to tell my father about my bisexuality, but I was afraid I would lose him if I came out to him. Two days before your letter arrived, my girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't make the introduction.

Thank you for your very sound advice. I took it and called PFLAG. I explained what was happening in my life and my fear about what would happen if my father found out I was "bi." Well, a counselor talked to me at length about what happened when his son came out to him. He told me that because of the closeness my father and I share, I had nothing to fear. He advised me to come out to my father as soon as possible. I took the advice and had a little talk with Dad, and you know what? The counselor was right; my father had known I was bisexual since I was 13.

If I had just talked with Dad years ago instead of running away, it would have saved me a lot of pain and heartache.

Please print my letter along with PFLAG's phone number and address. My experience could be very helpful to some other young person out there. You may use my name. -- ROBIN

DEAR ROBIN: I'm pleased to print your letter. I'm gratified not only that PFLAG was helpful to you, but also that I'm able to remind readers about this worthwhile organization.

PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) was founded in 1981. Since then, its affiliates have grown to include chapters in more than 390 communities and all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and 11 foreign countries. Its mission: To promote the health and well-being of gays, lesbians and bisexual persons, their families and friends through support, education and advocacy -- to end discrimination and secure equal civil rights. PFLAG provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.

PFLAG chapters provide the welcoming support of families and friends at local meetings, quarterly newsletters, invitations to local, regional and national events and conferences, opportunities to act against homophobia, and up-to-date information.

PFLAG is a tax-exempt, nonprofit 501(c)3 organization that is not affiliated with any political or religious institution. For information about a chapter in your area, write to PFLAG, 1101 14th St. N.W., Suite 1030, Washington, D.C. 20005; or call 1-202-638-4200.

PFLAG has my unqualified endorsement.

DEAR ABBY: Am I the only one who's irritated by the noise from leaf blowers?

I can understand using power lawn mowers, but my neighbors now use leaf blowers, too. They're oblivious as they put on their headphones and happily blow leaves and grass from one spot to another for hours -- usually on weekend mornings. What a racket!

I wish they'd consider the noise pollution when they're looking at motorized equipment for use in residential neighborhoods. Our cities are noisy enough. Why not use a broom and get some exercise at the same time? -- AN-NOISED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR AN-NOISED: I suspect you're not the only one. Some communities are considering legislation to prevent leaf blowers from becoming major annoyances. It could be a battle royal because more than a few people would rather fight than give up this labor-saving device.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: After 45 years of marriage, I became a widower three years ago. Ours was a double-ring ceremony in the Roman Catholic Church.

Other than the early days when my wedding band had to be wrapped with tape to prevent it from falling off my finger, it has not been off my hand.

Now, at age 70, I am romantically involved in a relationship with a lovely widow.

I would like to remove my wedding band and place it in the special ring box where my late wife's wedding band now is. My problem is it will no longer pass over my knuckle no matter how much lubricant I use. It would have to be cut off!

Can this be done? Or is it totally unthinkable? -- LONGTIME READER, NORRISTOWN, PA.

DEAR LONGTIME READER: Your problem can be easily resolved. Pay your favorite jeweler a visit and tell him you need help in getting your wedding ring off your finger because you may be in the market for an engagement ring in the near future. He or she will be happy to help you. Jewelers have a special tool just for this purpose.

Good luck; I admire your spirit.

DEAR ABBY: On a quick trip to the grocery store, an obviously caring mother left her two small children in the car with the keys in the ignition and the motor running to keep the air conditioner on, as it was a very hot day.

I watched in horror as the two little ones tried to "drive" -- twisting the steering wheel and turning the lights on and off. Then one of the children started to play with the buttons that raised and lowered the windows. I was afraid that one of them would get an arm -- or maybe a head -- caught in the window, so I rushed into the store and told the mother I was worried about her children.

Without uttering a word, she marched out of the store, put down the windows, turned off the motor and removed the car keys.

Abby, please warn parents never to leave small children in cars with the motor running. They could easily be kidnapped in a carjacking -- or push the car out of gear to roll into traffic.

One family I knew lost a son when his neck was caught in a closing window. -- A SMALL TOWN IN GEORGIA

DEAR SMALL TOWN: Your letter should be a reminder to all who drive automobiles: NEVER leave small children unattended in an automobile. Keep them with you. The child who's snatched or injured could be your own.

DEAR ABBY: After my father died, my 69-year-old mother started dating a 47-year-old married man with two children. He told her his marriage was "in name only" and the usual things that such men tell widows when they're trying to win them over.

Bottom line: He sold my mother a skating rink in North Carolina that didn't exist and took her for $100,000. That money was supposed to be her nest egg and help put her grandchildren through college.

Please, Abby, tell older widows to make no business dealings without consulting their own lawyer and/or financial adviser, or they may wind up in the poorhouse. -- MOTHER'S DAUGHTER IN MASS.

DEAR DAUGHTER: It is a pity that your mother was left so vulnerable and without a trusted adviser to help her manage her financial affairs after she lost your father. Of course she should not have entered into a business deal without having proper legal representation. Perhaps her bitter lesson will serve as a warning to others. I hope so.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)