DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, when I was a young lawyer with a prestigious law firm, I received a wedding invitation from an associate. (We're both female.)

Another colleague also received an invitation, and suggested that we pool our money in order to purchase something nicer than either one of us could afford alone. I agreed.

Well, it was a lovely wedding, but neither my friend nor I received an acknowledgment of our gift. Several months later, I asked the bride if she had received it. She replied, "No, I haven't, but it could be among the many packages in the warehouse that we haven't had time to open."

Abby, it's been three years and still no thank-you note from the bride or groom. I'm wondering if we committed a faux pas by combining our resources to buy her a single gift, and she was so offended she felt we didn't deserve a note of thanks. -- PHILADELPHIA LAWYER

DEAR PHILADELPHIA LAWYER: You did not commit a faux pas. The bride did. There was nothing wrong with pooling your funds to buy the bride a nicer gift. Should another occasion arise when a gift is required, a book of etiquette might be appropriate.

DEAR READERS: I recently received a delightful book titled "The Kindness of Strangers -- A Collection of Animal Rescue Stories" published by the Auxiliary for Dekalb Animals Inc., a nonprofit organization in Illinois dedicated to promoting the welfare of animals. One story caught my eye, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

THE STORY OF ABBY

During the summer of 1987, I was helping my daughter clear some mountain river property she had purchased. As we approached a pile of wooden pallets, we heard a crying sound and saw an injured, starving Doberman dog crawl out from under the stack. After feeding her part of our sandwiches, we attempted to find her owner, thinking she might have strayed. The nearest neighbor told us, "People put dogs like that out all the time -- the best thing you can do for her is shoot her." We stopped our search for her owner.

We brought her home that evening; she was frightened and starving. We fed her and loved her. She immediately took up with my cat and licked the cat like it was her baby. The next day, I took her to the vet and discovered she had several broken ribs and a fungus on her paw, which might require amputation. The vet fixed her up as best he could. As I was paying the bill, they wanted the dog's name for their records. I thought for a minute and said, "Her name would have to be Abby!"

Abby's ribs mended. Her fungus healed after six months of treatment and she gained weight. She became a permanent member of our family.

Last year, my husband entered a nursing home and I now live alone. All my neighbors have elaborate security systems and a few own guns. All I need is Abby. She's the best security I could have. -- NOT ALONE IN ATLANTA

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am in the military, stationed overseas. My girlfriend, to whom I have been engaged for almost a year, recently came to visit me. One evening I went into her purse to get a pen and came across a package of birth control pills.

We are not having intercourse, so I asked her why she needed them. She claimed that many women her age (27) take the pill for health reasons -- she used some medical terms that I didn't understand.

My ex-wife used to tell me that the pill caused many side effects, so many women avoided it.

Abby, I caught my girlfriend cheating once before, so naturally I am having doubts about her.

I am also confused about the pill issue. Is she trying to pull the wool over my eyes? She had an abortion five years ago. Does that justify her taking the pill? She also takes prenatal pills for "iron," she says.

Please answer soon. I'm going out of my mind with these doubts. -- SUSPICIOUS

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Your girlfriend could be telling you the truth. According to William E. Merritt III, M.D., OB-GYN, T.H.E. (To Help Everyone) Clinic, and Sydney Hardy, community health educator, UCLA Family Planning Center, women take the pill for a variety of reasons, and in much lower doses than they did years ago when birth control pills caused significant side effects for some women.

Today, many doctors follow the theory that if one takes the pill long enough, it may reduce the risk of ovarian cancer. The pill also helps to regulate menstrual periods, reduces or eliminates severe menstrual cramps (dysmenorrhea), and reduces severe bleeding.

Although prenatal vitamins are most frequently prescribed for pregnant women, some physicians prescribe them for patients who are not pregnant, and later switch the patient to regular iron supplements.

I hope this puts to rest some of your concerns so that you can work on your real problem: the lack of trust between you and your girlfriend since you caught her cheating. Unless you are confident that what she tells you is true, yours is an engagement that should NOT end in marriage.

DEAR ABBY: You began your column just as I began my marriage (in 1956), and I have been a daily reader ever since. I've often taken your advice, and I'd like you to know how your influence has enriched my life.

I married a bright, ambitious young man who was determined to succeed. Poor, and with no financial assistance at the time of our marriage, neither I nor my husband had a college education. My husband began taking evening classes, and within a few years, was on the upward track with a world-class organization.

During our fourth year of marriage, around the time our second child was born, my husband decided to study law. I tended to home and babies. He became immersed in experiences beyond my understanding, and I became concerned for our marriage.

Right around that time, you wrote that marriages were most successful when spouses grew together, not apart. You challenged one reader to match her husband's career achievements. So, at the age of 33, when our children were school age, I decided to enroll in college.

Over the next 26 years, I earned a bachelor's degree, a master's degree and a Ph.D. in educational administration. My marriage, education and career have enriched my life, and my husband has been proud to involve me in his professional career.

As we begin our 50th year of marriage, he refers to us as "Dr. and Mr." A lot of this is your "fault," Abby. Thanks.

If you print my letter, please don't use my name. Sign me ... DOCTOR, WIFE AND MOTHER, ROSEVILLE, CALIF.

DEAR DOCTOR, WIFE AND MOTHER: I can't say enough for continuing education for adults.

Letters like yours make my job doubly rewarding. Thank you for letting me know I've been a positive influence in your life. It made my day!

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: In the summer of 1974, I was a runaway teen-age girl from Kansas living on the streets of Las Vegas. A Good Samaritan who called himself "Nard" befriended me.

He showed me a column you had written about Operation Peace of Mind, a program that allowed runaway kids to communicate with their families without disclosing their whereabouts. The hope was that opening the doors of communication between estranged teen-agers and their families would lead to reuniting them.

Operation Peace of Mind's philosophy worked for me. It got me out of a dangerous situation and back home where I belonged. My family and I will always be grateful to Operation Peace of Mind, to Nard and to you, Abby, for making this information available.

Does Operation Peace of Mind or anything similar still exist? Thank you, 22 wonderful years later. -- JANET RAMOS, CORTE MADERA, CALIF.

DEAR JANET: It's gratifying to know that you received the help you needed so long ago.

Although Operation Peace of Mind no longer exists, the need for such programs has not diminished. The streets of major cities all across America are often the only "home" young runaways are able to find. Once these children are on the streets, they are at risk for physical violence, disease and exploitation. They frequently become victims of crime, or resort to crime themselves in order to survive.

Fortunately, another organization that helps runaway and homeless youths, and those who are considering leaving home, does exist.

The National Runaway Switchboard is a toll-free, 24-hour hotline that provides confidential crisis intervention and referrals for youth in crisis and their families. By calling (800) 621-4000, young people nationwide who are stranded on the streets can be referred to a nearby shelter where they can spend the night safely. Teens can also receive crisis counseling, be referred to community-based organizations, and/or have a message delivered (in confidence) or a call conferenced to their families.

In addition, if runaways between the ages of 12 and 18 wish to return home, the National Runaway Switchboard will help them obtain free one-way bus transportation via Greyhound Lines' Home Free Program.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the mother of three active children. We live on a tree-shaded street that is lined with condominiums. Most of them are occupied by families with young children.

The streets are all one-way and drivers frequently travel fast (30 to 40 mph), which is a matter of great concern to me and to other parents.

Now that warmer weather is here, kids are everywhere -- playing ball and hide-and-seek. The kids often forget to look left and right before they dart out from between parked cars.

Drivers need to be reminded to slow down, and parents should remind their kids about the dangers of playing in the streets.

Let's make this a safer summer for our children. Abby, please publish my message. -- PATTI DIAZ IN CHICAGO

DEAR PATTI: Many drivers tend to go faster than they should, and it takes only an instant for tragedy to occur. I'm delighted to help you alert other parents to remind their children to be careful when playing in or near the streets.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)